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In looking at the ratings for the week of October 29-November 4th, I’m oddly bouyed by the fact that IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN drew 11. 4 million viewers. Maybe there’s hope for humanity yet if that many of us can take time out to spend a little time with the Peanuts gang, right? Even better, Charlie Brown and company kicked the crap out of SINGING BEE, which was immediately sent on “hiatus.” (Normally, I’d make a joke about how we all know that’s TV-speak for “never to be seen again”, but with the writer’s strike, a more accurate translation might be, “See ya when we run out of other crap to show.”) Like the folks at ABC, I’d be happier if more people were tuning in to PUSHING DAISIES, which only managed about 8.6 million eyeballs, putting it in 40th place for the week (out of 118 shows). That means as many people are watching ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER as this charming show, which seems to somewhat ironically answer the question posed by the reality offering’s title. Given how well football did this week, I wouldn’t be surprised if those looking to counterprogram the strike try and convert more of us into athletic supporters (tee-hee). On the cable front, NIP/TUCK topped the scripted fare (coming behind football on ESPN and wrestling on USA), followed closely by… wait, no, this can’t be right. I LOVE NEW YORK? Seriously? There goes all that good will Charlie Brown and company had me feeling. Finally, anyone who thinks men and women are created equal should know that when it comes to the top five shows watched by those in the coveted 18-34 year-old demo, only HEROES made both lists. Among women in the demo, the top five shows were GREY’S ANATOMY, HOUSE, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, PRIVATE PRACTICE and HEROES. For the men? SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (shocker), FAMILY GUY, HEROES, THE SIMPSONS and THE OFFICE. Notice that shows like DANCING WITH THE STARS and 60 MINUTES — each of which are in the top five shows in overall viewers — don’t appear on either list? Yet the networks continue to insist that those over the age of 34 don’t matter. That’s a huge chunk of the audience being basically ignored…

You know what? I’m thinking it’s time for us — the viewers — to go on strike. Our list of demands?

1) Original programming year round.

2) No more of those damn banner ads running along the bottom of the screen telling us what’s on next, or tomorrow or next week. Make good shows and we’ll tune in without the reminder.

3) A limited number of hour of reality shows per network per week.

4) A promise that any new show you put on will have at least 13 episodes in which to win us over. If you won’t commit, why should we?

5) A return to the days when soaps told stories built around romance, family and relationships as opposed to mobsters, building collapses and children in jeopardy.

6) An end to show-stopping product placements. There’s a place for advertisements… it’s called the commercial break.

7) Programming that starts and stops on the hour. Monday night’s ABC line-up had SAMANTHA WHO airing at 9:45 and THE BACHELOR following at 10:08. Seriously? 10:08? That’s the month and year a credit card expires, not a start time.

Those are my demands. Any you’d like to add?

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