By: Emily Cottone
When it comes to pop culture, I’d like to think that I’m a fairly understanding person. When PUSHING DAISIES was cancelled, I dealt with it as stoically as possible. When Rachel and Joey became an item on FRIENDS, I did my best to ignore that disaster. I even once forgave someone who called season nine of SCRUBS the best in the series (Full disclosure: I did irreversibly lose a little bit of respect for that person). Clearly, I can handle a lot of TV related frustration, but there is one thing I just can’t get past…
How the heck do some people still think that Robin and Ted are going to end up together?
This relationship had an expiration date from the very first episode. That’s what made the pilot so cool! They extinguished the supposedly central love story within 22 minutes on air. It was the SHIELD of sitcom pilots.Yes, Ted has been fawning after her on and off for the last 9 years but that doesn’t mean they’re meant to be! If anything, it means that Ted has put Robin on some unreachable pedestal and idolized her. This isn’t healthy nor is it the happy ending that Ted Mosby deserves.
Ted and Robin fans are also entirely too quick to dismiss the subtle and wonderful evolution of Barney and Robin as a romantic pairing. It’s a slow burn during the first couple of seasons but it’s well worth it. The love story between Barney and Robin has been brewing as far back as season one. Remember their chemistry in the season one episode “Zip, Zip, Zip”?
Exhibit A
First off, the creators have said that despite a rocky road ahead of them, Barney and Robin will be married before the series ends. Unfortunately, that just isn’t enough proof for the remaining Robin/Ted evangelists and they are holding out hope that the creators of the show are just lying to keep fans guessing.
Exhibit B
In the season 8 episode “Band of DJ” Robin is seen dancing with her father during the reception. I’m pretty sure that most people don’t have a reception if the actual ceremony is a bust.
Exhibit C
Ted himself has admitted that he has yet to meet his soul-mate. In “Farhampton” Teddy West Side confessed to Klaus that he was unsure if he has met his “lebenslangerschicksalsschatz”. Klaus wisely said if you’re unsure then you haven’t met her. I’m pretty sure he’s met Robin. Even Ted knows that deep down Robin isn’t the right woman for him. She’s just the first woman he ever truly fell in love with and we all know how hard it is to move on from our first love.
Exhibit D
We have met the mother!
She is no longer just a cute pair of boots and a brightly colored umbrella. Lets forget for a moment that we know about her delightful hobby of painting robots and her penchant for bringing breakfast foods to life through the magic of musical theater. Even if we didn’t know any of these things, there is no denying that she is now a character on the show. We’ve even seen them get engaged! Is that not proof enough?
Clearly it’s not.
The mother is apparently just another obstacle on Ted and Robin’s path to true love. I have heard some pretty awful theories that people have used to justify the possibility of a Future between Ted and Robin. It gets a little dark…
Theory 1:
The Mother is dead and Ted is recounting the story to his children in order to help them deal with her passing.
First off, The whole point of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is that we came in knowing that there would be a happy ending. This is a mans journey to finding his true love, not a harrowing reminiscence of how he was left widowed with two children. That’s a GREAT way to get Robin and Ted together. “ Well kids, two weeks after your mothers funeral I found out that Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin were getting a divorce. Destiny can be a tricky thing….”
Show. Ruined.
Theory 2:
Those aren’t Ted’s kids. He is their uncle.
Just no. Absolutely not.
Theory 3:
Ted and Robin both get divorced and end up together.
I’ll admit, this theory is a lot less bleak then actually killing The Mother off but it still doesn’t make any sense. Robin never has kids. Period. I’m going to take a giant leap and assume that also means step-children. It would also be super weird for the kids to continue to refer to their stepmother as “Aunt Robin”. Most importantly, why would you sit your teenage children down to tell them the worlds longest story about how you met the woman you divorced?
This is Ted Mosby we’re talking about, his epic love story will not end with him stealing his best friends girl. Grab a life vest Robin/Ted fans because you’re going down with that ship. 
Emily Cottone has been a TV addict since she her awkward middle school days when she realized the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer were her longest and most stable relationships. Even though she has long since managed to establish actual human connections television remains one of her very best friends. Follow her on Twitter @EmilyTalksTV.