8:06PM: Neil Patrick Who? With a rousing get-up-and-cheer number that played to his strengths (Music + Celebrity cameos), Jimmy Fallon just gets our vote for most legen… wait for it… dary award show opening EVER.
8:08PM: Drink! It only took Fallon seven minutes to make the first reference to NBC’s Jay Leno debacle, “NBC asking the host of Late Night to come to LA to host a diff show, what could possibly go wrong?” (Cameras cut to Conan) “Too soon?”
8:11PM: Tonight’s first shocker of the night, Eric Stonestreet wins an Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy for his work on MODERN FAMILY. FIZBO FTW! Related note: Could not be more thrilled the only [Jon] cryer was the adorable Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
8:21PM: MODERN FAMILY… even their Emmy intro clips are funny. Which is probably why Steve Levitan and Christopher Lloyd just won a much-deserved Emmy for Outstanding writing on a Comedy Series. Funnier still, Levitan thanks “Everybody still at ABC.”
8:24PM: Least surprising, albeit most welcome news of the night! Jane Lynch wins an Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. GLEE 1, MODERN FAMILY 1… it is so on!
8:30PM: For those keeping score at home: GLEE 1, MODERN FAMILY 1, Jon Cryer 0. Life is good.
8:33PM: Ryan Murphy wins an Emmy for Directing for a Comedy Series. Claims he’s “shocked,” is he? Discuss.
8:40PM: Contract re-negotiations between Jim Parsons and THE BIG BANG THEORY just got really interesting with Parsons winning an Emmy for Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.
8:46PM: Edie Falco wins an Emmy for Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series. Julia-Louise Dreyfus cannot catch a break.
8:47PM: Time for “The Year in Reality” montage, or as we’re calling it at Casa TV Addict: Bathroom Break.
8:51PM: THE AMAZING RACE, not so amazing this year! TOP CHEF wins an Emmy for Outstanding Reality-TV Competition.
8:59PM: Cannot believe the EMMYS just spoiled the GREY’S ANATOMY season finale for me. Seriously… I was really behind. #montagefail
9:00PM: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy win Emmys for Outstanding Writing for a Drama series for MAD MEN. Something we’d be way more excited for if Matthew Weiner didn’t seem like the world’s most pompous blowhard. Also… anyone else getting a really creepy Stockholm Syndrome vibe from MAD MEN’s Matthew Weiner and his female co-writers?
9:04PM: Aaron Paul wins an Outstanding Supporting Actor for a Drama series for BREAKING BAD. Mental Note: Start watching this show.
9:10PM: In the closest we’ll ever get to a CASTLE/BONES crossover, king-and-queen of the will-they-or-won’t-they Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz present Outstanding Supporting actress in a drama to… HOLY FRAK… Archie Panjabi for THE GOOD WIFE.
9:15PM: Bryan Cranston wins an Outstanding Actor in a Drama Emmy for his work on BREAKING BAD. Suffice to say, message received. Heading to Amazon right now.
9:20PM: Steve Shill wins an Outstanding Director Emmy for his work on DEXTER. Jack Bender — who coincidentally enough shot his short Emmy intro in our hometown of Toronto — did not.
9:25PM: Just in case you missed the first time the telecast spoiled LOST, Fallon just gave away the ending AGAIN!
9:32PM: Strike 1 against Kyra Sedgwick, she just won an Outstanding Actress in a Drama Emmy for THE CLOSER. Strike 2, she had a prepared speech. Strike 3, Julianna Marguilies was totally robbed.
9:36PM: For those keeping in score, that’s the third NBC/Conan reference!
9:39PM: In presenting Dave Boone and Paul Greenberg with an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Special or Musical, presenter Jeff Probst (along with Joel McHale) reminded us that improv is dangerous. Umm. yeah. He doesn’t need us to remind us. We still remember when himself and his reality TV co-horts opened the EMMYS
9:47PM: The always hilarious Ricky Gervais (“He’s [Mel Gibson] been through a lot. [Pause] Not as much as the Jews.”) presents Bucky Gunts with a Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series Emmy for his direction of the Vancouver 2010 Olympics for NBC.
9:53PM: Winner: THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART nabs its seventh Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series. Loser: Us viewers, who are robbed of what surely would have been a very interesting speach by Conan O’Brien.
10:02PM: Good: George Clooney received a much-deserved Humanitarian Award for all the good he does. Bad: Makes me feel guilty for spending the night in front of the TV.
10:07PM: In forgetting his “and the nominees are” line, Jon Krasinski just did the unthinkable: Made co-presenter January Jones look smart! Presented Julia Ormond with a Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie Emmy for her work in TEMPLE GRANDIN.
10:15PM: David Stratherin wins an Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for his performance in TEMPLE GRANDIN.
10:25PM: In accepting his Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries or Movie for his work on the HBO movie YOU DON’t KNOW JACK, writer Adam Mazar may have delivered the line of the night when he said of his movie’s namesake, “Jack Kevorkian, I’m so grateful you’re my friend, but even more grateful you’re not my physician.” In other categories we’re not really interested in, Claire Danes wins an Outstanding Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for TEMPLE GRANDIN.
10:35PM: A shockingly short Stephen Moyer, along with TRUE BOOD costars Alexander Skarsgard and Anna Paquin present Mick Jackson with an Emmy for Outstanding Direction in a miniseries or movie for TEMPLE GRANDIN a somewhat-out-of-it Al Pacino with an Outstanding Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for his work in YOU DON’T KNOW JACK.
10:46PM: How confident am I that THE PACIFIC will walk away with an Emmy for Outstanding Miniseries. I’m writing this as presenter Laurence Fishburne walks onto the stage! Not so confident is my choice for Made for Television Movie which went to TEMPLE GRANDIN. Probably should have seen that coming.
10:51PM: MAD MEN wins the Emmy for Outstanding Drama. Matthew Weiner — who is to the Emmys what James Cameron is to the Oscars — accepts in his now trademark pompous blowhard manner.
10:57PM: MODERN FAMILY wins the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy. Steven Levitan thanks families “for letting us into your families.” Except those of you of course who are watching on Hulu, you know who you are.