The hot tamale train was still choo-chooing along in New York when SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE presented viewers with the evening’s hip hop montage…even if the judges’ table was already self-destructing.
Nothing says “great hip hop” like Vanessa Hudgens giggling over one of the dancers, Alex Diaz, grabbing his crotch. Kudos to Nigel for ribbing her for it.
But the show went on. Thankfully, it was still a good one at this point, as Joseph “Klassic” Carella and Huwer “Havoc” Marche, Junior took the stage.
This duo came to SYTYCD to educate viewers about flexing, a style that originated in Brooklyn. Unfortunately, some viewers…didn’t get it. Maybe it was the growing beer belly trick (not here for it but wow interesting anyway) that confused them, but it’s sad to hear via facebook that there are actual supposed dance enthusiasts out there who think that what Klassic and Havoc did wasn’t dancing.
Dance is, by definition, rhythmic movements to music. Those of us who are a little more cultured consider it to be a form of expression and movement with intent. These guys met every possible definition in spades. Period. There was so much power and emotion behind every (intended, rhythmic) movement that it was truly a thing of beauty.
Watching this audition was akin to seeing Cyrus Spencer animate to Evanescence for the first time. Or you could just be uncultured swine and accuse it of not fitting your personal and narrow view of dancing. Whichever.
Judges’ comments: Nigel said it best: “The way you translated the music into the movement, I thought, was beautiful.” Mary called the whole thing “sick” (but in a good way), and then Vanessa…No, really. Someone ask her if she’s taken too strong of a happy pill dosage, please? What was this: “You, like, told a story and…There was also, like, some comedy in there for me. Like, really, really cool.”
Verdict: Klassic and Havoc are on their way to The (dance) Academy.
Chaz Wolcott’s audition marked the first potential appearance of Tap Fanboy Lythgoe of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE season 14.
Frankly, I was a little bit disappointed in Nigel’s lack of actual fanboying, but that had nothing to do with Chaz’s dancing. The 29-year-old dancer, who has watched SYTYCD since the beginning (same), finally made the leap from dancing in diapers to dancing in front of the “jedges.” But that was only after he took a detour to, you know, dance as part of the CATS and NEWSIES casts. (Swoon.)
Chaz performed exactly how you’d expect someone with his resume to do: His taps were clean, his turns were beautifully pulled up, and he was just bursting with that classic tap personality. I don’t know how else to put it, really.
Judges’ comments: The trio started out with a standing ovation, followed by Mary unleashing those vocals of hers. Once she was able to form words, she let Chaz know that he was the first tapper to bring a tear to her eye — “swear to God!”
Never change, Mary. Never. Change.
Vanessa felt Chaz…through his dance, and then she started yammering on about “yumminess,” so I think she was suffering from low blood sugar or the munchies or whatever. Once that unpleasantness was over with, Nigel was able to bring the discussion back to “Nigel Lythgoe fanboys over tap” territory. He said that Chaz performed “perfect choreography to the music,” but he just wanted him to look up more. Nigel started telling stories about his tap lessons, when his teacher would use a sprig of holly to force him to keep his chin up.
Insert “Memory” reference to CATS here.
Verdict: Academy…and the end of all sanity on tonight’s SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE.
The next dancer was Darius Reed, aka “The Bigger Cheese.”
Really, the name sums it up pretty well.
All the hot tamales got drowned in cheese with this monstrosity, which was a complete waste of everyone’s time. Whatever “The Bigger Cheese” was trying to do on that stage wasn’t even funny, and I just…There are some awesome drag performers out there. If SYTYCD wants to go into that territory, I am so beyond here for it, I can’t begin to say. But this? This was like a Kmart version of Titus Andromedon, trying to dress up in Kimmy Schmidt’s post-bunker Halloween costumes or something.
Thank you, Nigel Lythgoe, for stopping this mess at the crotch-grabbing maneuver. The emotional scars that may have come from seeing what happened next…just no.
Judges’ comments: Nigel said he watched something that was “more like a lip sync battle than a routine.” (Girl, no. Those are sometimes, like, awesome.) Mary said she’d seen better (same), but at last the cheese part was right.
Vanessa Hudgens had fun, telling The Bigger Cheese, “you do you, boo.” Please get this girl’s blood sugar up with some “yumminess” so she can stop being delirious.
Verdict: It’s a no from literally everyone with taste.
That major epic fail sparked the obligatory fail montage for “New York Auditions #1.”
Vanessa, still in need of…something to sober her up…commended some guy for not being prepared because he “just whipped it out and had fun.” Nigel roasted her. Mary cackled. I reached for the bottle.
The fail montage was followed by super brief clips of super talented contemporary dancers.
Maybe if we hadn’t wasted so much time on Cheez Whiz Mcnotadancer, we could have seen at least one of these auditions in full? A novel concept. Like, contemporary on pointe? Sign me up. Contemporary fused with breaking skills?! God, please.
But nah, no time because cheese.
The contemporary clips were a lead-in to tonight’s final soloist: Ryan Bailey.
Ryan has his own style and is in charge of his own dance company, which is so new that I can’t find anything about it — other than this article from UMBC. My initial impression of Ryan’s audition was of the “omgwtf, why is 2017 doing so many awful things to Dirty Dancing” variety. Checking out Mr. Bailey’s facebook page, though, it looks as if that assessment is unfair: The dancer…didn’t even audition for SYTYCD using “Time of My Life.”
The lord is testing me.
So, here’s the thing: Ryan’s movement style was fascinating, but it didn’t have any connection to the music whatsoever. But nobody can fault him for that, seeing as how his music was, reportedly, not even what he chose to use. The only thing that can really be done is to compliment some of his amazing tricks and superhuman control, then move on in puzzlement.
What a waste.
Judges’ comments: Backhanded Compliments Lythgoe loved the performance because he hated it, mentioning that we were “deconstructing dance here.” Mary Murphy said Ryan’s solo was “the most bizarre audition we’ve ever seen,” which makes me wonder whether the hot tamale train rattled her memory when it went of the rails with Mr. Cheez Whiz. Finally, Vanessa Hudgens started talking about confusion and “duck things,” which kind of fit the moment. I just hope she was able to get her some yumminess once the cameras were off.
Why end SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE with one awful performance and another new, yet jarring one?
No, really. I need answers. Since we’ll probably never get them, make sure to watch the second dose of New York auditions when SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE returns on Monday, July 10, at 8/7c on FOX.
