An Open Letter to Chace Crawford

If Deadline Hollywood Daily is to be believed [and seriously, when has the internet ever led us astray?], you’ve ditched ICM for CAA [The Darth Vader of Hollywood Agencies] in the hopes of snagging a ‘substantial raise’ for playing eye candy on the CW’s much talked about, yet little watched show GOSSIP GIRL.

Actions that unfortunately leave this TV Addict with no choice but to pose this obvious and slightly awkward question. Is it possible that Monday’s win for TEEN CHOICE Breakout Star has already gone to your head?

Sure, those mesmerizing blue eyes and pretty boy good looks have melted the hearts of millions of girls, gals and gays across the country. But they also can be replaced by any one of the hundred of Zac Efron-like clones anxiously biding their time in Starbucks and Gap stores throughout Hollywood.

You Chace Crawford are the GOSSIP GIRL equivalent of a BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Cylon. Unlike co-stars Blake Lively, Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick, you’re completely expendable and instantly replaceable. Not to mention, your acting ability make the kids of DEGRASSI look like the cast of MAD MEN.

So take my advice, be happy with your good fortune and stop rocking the boat. Or start memorizing these six words that will be integral to any and all future endeavors.

Would you like fries with that.