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Channel Surfing with C.T.

I’ve finally realized why I’m nuts about the revamped version of ONE TREE HILL: It’s basically morphed into MELROSE PLACE. I was never a big fan of BEVERLY HILLS 90210, which is what HILL most closely represented before fast-forwarding four years. And I stopped tuning into MP when the show became obsessed with trying to top its own wild plots (shortly after the infamous episode in which krazy Kimberly blew up the apartment compex). But right now, HILL is reminiscent of MELROSE PLACE when it was at its best: cardboard actors walking through see-through plots (who didn’t see the obsessed nanny coming a mile away?) and yet somehow wildly addictive. Kudos to the show for turning one of MP’s most undervalued players, Daphne Zuniga, into their own mini-Amanda. Wonder how long it’ll be before Brooke’s mom beds both of the Scott boys?

I tried watching MOMENT OF TRUTH this week, but it really tried my patience. Maybe I wanted the guy in the hot seat, George, to sweat more.But whether admitting that he’d stolen money and let someone else take the blame or confessing to having made a pass at one of his girlfriend’s pals, he came off as smug and somewhat obnoxious. Meanwhile, I can only hope with all my heart that FOX – having recently been approached by representatives for Drew Peterson in the hope of landing him on MOMENT OF TRUTH – will keep in mind how the public reacted to news that they planned to air an interview with O.J. Simpson. There’s a reason that lie detector test results aren’t admissible in court and have become a staple on reality television shows and DR. PHIL episodes.

I’m gonna go ahead and declare last night’s finale of CROWNED the most cheesetacular episode of reality TV so far this season… and I mean that in the best way possible! We had a bathing suit-clad contestant collapsing (well, okay, squatting) on stage, villainess Laura (boo! hiss!) screwing up her song during the talent portion and an “ambush desashing”! Plus, Carson taught us all a new word sassitude (which the QUEER EYE guy kindly explained to the heterosexually impaired — or just plain dumb — is a combination of “sass” and “attitude”). And here I thought the show couldn’t possibly top last week’s episode, in which Patty upchucked into a box.


How, exactly, LAW & ORDER avoids being sued I’ll never know. On the one hand, they air ads screaming that their tales — such as last night’s obvious take on the Larry Craig scandal — are ripped from the headlines, while on the other they make sure to indicate that the stories are not based on real people or events. But there it was, for all the world to see… from the wide stance which became the butt of every late-night comedian’s jokes to the hand under the stall. Interestingly, L&O basically used the sequence as a throw-away plot point. Meanwhile, I can’t help wondering if it was an accident that the pantsuit-clad female politco in the episode looked a whole lot like Hillary… while the man in charge of her fundraising (who eventually confessed to murder) shared more than a passing resemblance to Barak Obama. Hmmm…

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