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Channel Surfing with C.T.

Can someone please explain to me why year after year, FOX insists on running the annual Treehouse Of Horror episode of THE SIMPSONS on the weekend after Halloween? Sure, they can do the whole “Halloween isn’t over until the Simpsons say it’s over” line, but you know what? They’re wrong.

Yes, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was also late with its Halloween episode, but seeing as that show doesn’t make a big annual event of the holiday, it somehow didn’t seem as egregious. Best costume of the night? While I’m tempted to go with Bob’s Aladdinesque get-up if only because it showed off the amazing abs of Tuc Watkins (who obviously has a portrait stashed somewhere that’s aging on his behalf), but my final vote has to be case for Danielle, who came as mom Bree. I didn’t buy for a minute that Mike wouldn’t understand Susan being upset about the fact that his dad is an unrepentant murderer, and Lynette’s whole “this possum will not defeat me” speech was a tad too much. But God bless Tom (“You do what you’ve got to do.”), and that final scene between Susan and Mike’s dad did what DH has become famous for: sending chills down our collective spines while simultaneously planting a subtle yet devilish new plot seedling.

Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder, which is why I think I thoroughly enjoyed last night’s premiere of the latest AMAZING RACE cycle. As with most reality shows, CBS took this fantastic offering and drove it into the ground by refusing to limit it to one cycle a season. So I opted out of the past year or two worth of race’s, tuning in last night because I realized that enough time had passed that I was jonesing for an armchair adventure. Now I’m not going to declare RACE “a love letter to the planet” as did the lesbian minister couple, because I just don’t think a show that features people jetting and driving around is exactly environmentally friendly. I also wasn’t thrilled with the way the contestants treated those poor donkeys last night. Despite that, this still remains a show that leaves me feeling exhilarated at the end of the hour. Assuming, that is, that you saw the end of the episode. I’m betting a lot of people who recorded the show didn’t catch the final 20 minutes thanks to the football game running over. On one of the most competitive nights of television, can CBS really afford to let this practice continue?


This may not come as a surprise to most of you, but it turns out that I’m a reality-confrontation whore. When Tila Tequla’s most ardent suitor, Ashley, went from lovesick puppy to raging psychopath on this week’s A SHOT AT LOVE, I was practically cheering him on. Who cares about lame-o BACHELOR Brad and those boring rose ceremonies. This guy went off on every person in the room, had to be dragged out of the house kicking and screaming and then began pounding on the doors and screaming for Tila as if he was Stanley Kowalski giving Stella a scary shout-out. Did I mention that this guy is a high school guidance counselor?

I may never get the image of THE OFFICE’s Dwight cutting the tip of his penis on a coke can out of my head. Ever.

Am I the only one watching THE NEXT IRON CHEF and saying, “Who are these people?” Surely these no-name, no-game, generic wanna-be’s aren’t seriously expected to be competing side-by-side with such culinary luminaries as Bobby Flay or Batali, right?

I think I’ve finally figured out why some not-so-great shows haven’t been cancelled: The writer’s strike. By holding on to shows that suck but have scripts both in the can and written, the networks are buying themselves a little more time before having to seek out alternative programming. Guess that explains CAVEMAN not being extinct yet, huh?

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