Summer television is all about the girl. Correction: all about the cable girls. Yes, cable has found itself a reliable refuge for film actresses to find work that is ostensibly of the caliber they are used to – thus Holly Hunter as a spry, hedonistic Oklahoma City detective, Kyra Sedgwick as a master interrogator, and Mary-Louise Parker as a suburban pot dealing widow. This month Edie Falco – whose film career is outsized by the grandeur of her work on THE SOPRANOS – and Jada Pinkett Smith – wife of Will and of The Matrix trilogy – join the throes as nurses predisposed to be snappy and impassioned to help their patients.

Our attention is first turned to simply suthun’ Kyra Sedgwick on THE CLOSER (returns tonight at 9 pm est on TNT), where she plays “Depewty Cheef Brendalee Johnson,” of the LAPD. If hadn’t already been implied, her character is from the south, which somehow demands such a drawl that half of what she says can hardly be taken seriously. Twice as befuddling is how Brenda is venerated for her ability to elicit a confession that holds up in court, because the cases are so easy, a children’s program with slimmer plot workings would be more challenging. In the fifth season premiere, the humdinger of a homicide hinges on street addresses. Other plot points of the season include Brenda’s cat falling ill, Lt. Provenza (G.W. Bailey) gets a girlfriend, and Mary McDonnell guest stars as a internal affairs officer. It has thankfully scaled back Brenda’s junk food addiction (I couldn’t handle another sensuous bite into a Ho-Ho), but by a fifth season, you’d think it would’ve have progressed to something more than outline of an actual TV show.

SAVING GRACE (returns next Tuesday at 10 pm est on TNT) quite oppositely has become more realized in its third season: Grace (the slick, sinewy Holly Hunter, who looks she’s having a thrill of a ride), reeling from Leon Cooley’s execution last season (who shared her last chance angel Earl, played by DEADWOOD’s Leon Rippey with palpable zest), she’s in search of girl who shares her prophetic visions, while her partner (THE SHIELD’s Kenneth Johnson, so rightly deserving the role) finalizes his divorce. Like THE CLOSER, GRACE’s crimes are so straightforward that they’re irrelevant, but this – and even the cosmic, religious undertones – are shaken aside by Hunter and the stellar cast, who seem so passionate and willing to play the part of law skirting, sometimes drunken hooligans who fight crime, that it’s just a great show on its own.

And where good intentions turn into seemingly inescapable traps: the fifth season of Showtime’s WEEDS (returns tonight at 10 pm est), where Nancy Botwin has uprooted her family – and her marijuana business – from the posh digs of suburbia to a border town overrun with drug and arms trafficking, and where Nancy has found herself pregnant with the Mexican mayor who happens to be the drug lord she screwed over with the DEA. Last season’s locale change was appreciable – you have to give it credit for at least trying to shake things up after seasons of steady, comical work. But now it seems to have been for not: Nancy has become so turgidly unlikeable, she makes Meredith Grey’s naval-gazing seem like charity work. The supporting cast (including Kevin Nealon’s continually stoned Doug and the two perfectly competent actors who play her sons) are no longer integral to the overall plot, and Elizabeth Perkin’s Celia may have finally crossed over into story line too overwrought for TV territory with a offensively unfunny hostage situation. What’s worth seeing (at least in the first three episodes made available by Showtime) is Nancy’s stoner-cum-lothario brother-in-law Andy (the great Justin Kirk) bubbling relationship with Nancy’s sister Jill (a surprisingly funny Jennifer Jason Leigh) – they’re drawn together for their love-hate of Nancy’s behavior.

As for the new girls, Jada Pinkett Smith mostly goes for staid coziness on HAWTHORNE (debuts next Tuesday at 9 pm est on TNT) where Edie Falco goes for a dark and druggy mix on NURSE JACKIE (debuts tonight at 10:30 pm est on Showtime). Both play health care professionals in hospital dramas that rely on comedic diversions to move them along – at which NURSE JACKIE excels and HAWTHORNE mostly stumbles over. As Christina Hawthorne, Pinkett Smith is supposed to be a tough, compassionate, don’t-f—-with-me Chief Nursing Officer, but so far her face hasn’t quite shown the emotive range to be anything but the latter, hanging on blurry screen overlays to seem “pensive.” Her supporting cast is dull, dull, dull, and actually say things like, “I’m damaged goods. You don’t wanna go out with me.” But besides the aforementioned groaner, the pilot is steady, a minor feat worth applauding.

Edie Falco, with her short mannish hair, is like a sharp blade of pragmatic cynicism; as Jackie Peyton, a nurse at All Saints Hospital in New York City, she doesn’t have time or the desire for the uplift and earnestness of typical medical shows. “I don’t do chatty. I like quiet. Quiet and mean. Those are my people,” she explains to Zoey (the wonderfully screwy Merritt Wever), the new nurse with pink bunny scrubs. Jackie, anti-heroine with a knack for healing people, is the latest in the Showtime cadre of characters with premium cable problems: she harbors a deep addiction to prescription painkillers (a casualty of working on her feet all day, her back is constantly killing her) and is sleeping with the pharmacist who doesn’t know she’s married with two kids.

Of all the shows that boast they are not what their banal premise entails – hospital drama, cop comedy, procedural – but are actually about the characters, NURSE JACKIE is the only one of this bunch that actually succeeds. In effect, it’s one giant character study, if a little murky in its ambitions: it tackles addiction, marriage, family, and morality, but isn’t quite sure what it’s tying to say about any of them. Really, we have no idea what drives Jackie to be who she is. The first half of the season (Showtime sent six of 12 episodes) goes great with caustic humor and smart writing; the second half is where the storytelling will (hopefully) start moving.

The Closer: C-; Saving Grace: B+; Weeds: C; Hawthorne: C+; Nurse Jackie: B+

Deep breath, don’t panic, September is just around the corner. Or so we keep telling ourselves. Because the unfortunate reality of the situation is that September is in fact, not just around the corner. Which is why theTVaddict.com is going to spend the next few days offering up our “Summer Survival Guide.” Alternatives to the painful mix of reality TV, reruns and third-rate miniseries/ movies the major networks are trying to pass off as entertainment.

But before we get into those alternatives which include the worlds of TV on DVD, books and online, we first thought we should offer up five reason why you may not want to cancel your cable just yet.

WEEDS  [Showtime, June 8]
Mary Louise Parker, America’s sexiest and arguably most irresponsible mother is back! And while critics and discerning fans have been quick to proclaim that the Botwin’s clans move to the border was a mistake of shark jumping proportions, WEEDS (alongside HBO’s ENTOURAGE, 30 ROCK and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER) remain to this day one of the only comedies that without fail, always leaves us jonesin’ for more. Also this summer on Showtime: NURSE JACKIE (June 8th)

HUNG [HBO, June 28]
Would you pay $14.99 per month for Thomas Jane? HBO is certainly hoping that you will when you meet Ray Decker; a down-on-his-luck high school teacher who must use his best (and some might say, biggest) asset to escape from his very own personal and financial crisis. Unfortunately, on a family friendly web site, we’re not exactly at liberty to say what said asset is. Rest assured, HUNG has the makings of HBO’s next big thing (and yes, that is in fact what she said.) Also this summer on HBO: ENTOURAGE (July 12) and TRUE BLOOD (June 14)

ROYAL PAINS [USA, June 4]
What is the one thing that can get this procedural-phobic TV Addict to tune into another [insert medical/cop/lawyer] show that the cable networks can’t seem to get enough of? Two words: Mark Feuerstein. The actor who swept Ashley WIliams off her feet in the short-lived GOOD MORNING MIAMI and swept us off our feet with his unforgettable and ridiculously likable guest stint on THE WEST WING is just what the doctor ordered and coincidentally enough, what the rich and famous need in this new Hampton’s set medical drama. Also this summer on USA: BURN NOTICE (June 4), MONK & PSYCH (Summer 2009)

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
[ABC Family, July 7]
Will 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU continue ABC Family’s winning streak that started with KYLE XY and continued with GREEK and THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER? Well, not actually having seen the pilot, we’re not entirely sure. But as fans of the underrated movie that starred the late Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, this TV Addict knows what he’ll be doing on July 7th at 8PM. Also this summer on ABC Family: GREEK, SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER (June 22), MAKE IT OR BREAK IT (June 22)

CONAN O’BRIEN [NBC, June 1]
On June 1st, following 17 years at the helm of television’s most popular late night institution, Jay Leno will officially pass the torch to Conan O’Brien. Will O’Brien tone down his zany 12:35 antics for an 11:35 show? Have we really seen the last of the Masturbating Bear? And most importantly, has O’Brien’s fair Irish complexion survived the move to California? Fans will have all summer to find out, when O’Brien finally gets to sit in the big chair and welcomes some big name guests, including Will Ferrell, Pearl Jam, Tom Hanks, Green Day, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bradley Cooper, Sheryl Crow, Gwyneth Paltrow, John Mayer, Ryan Seacrest and Chickenfoot.

Is Nancy Botwin really pregnant with her Mexican lover/ druglord’s baby? “Expect the unexpected,” is all star Mary Louise Parker is saying. Which is why it’s up to this TV Addict to say — well, show a little more, courtesy of these photos from the upcoming season premiere of WEEDS (June 8, 10PM on Showtime) featuring a first look at Nancy’s sister played by Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Even though theTVaddict.com doesn’t traditionally celebrate 4/20 — and quite honestly believes that the only healthy addictions involve television and/or caffeine. I didn’t want to pass up this opportunity to share with you a first look at the HIGHly (hehehe… get it?) anticipated fifth season of WEEDS and remind you to mark your calendars for June 8th at 10PM, when WEEDS returns immediately followed by the new series NURSE JACKIE staring THE SOPRANO’s Edie Falco.

Nominees (L to R): Jeremy Piven [ENTOURAGE], Kevin Dillon [ENTOURAGE], Neil Patrick Harris [HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER], Rainn Wilson [THE OFFICE], Jon Cryer [TWO AND A HALF MEN]

SHOULD WIN: Neil Patrick Harris
Not only does NPH deliver a Legen.. [does this ever get old?]… dary performace week-in-week-out. He more importanatly serves as a shining example to all current and future child stars — Play your cards right and you don’t have to end up like this, this or this.

WILL WIN: Jeremy Piven
Because nobody loves egomaniacal Hollywood agents like egomaniacal Hollywood Emmy voters.

SNUBBED: WEEDS stars Justin Kirk and/or Kevin Nealon.

Emmy Coverage
Outstanding Reality TV Program
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama
Outstanding Drama
Outstanding Comedy

*theTVaddict.com does not guarantee his ‘winning picks’ — Do not, I repeat, Do not ‘bet the house, kids or family pet’ on them!

Talk about Showtime!

The little network that could, or as we around theTVaddict.com are now calling it — HBO 2.0 — decided to pull out all the stops my rolling up the WEEDS, CALIFORNICATION, DEXTER and BROTHERHOOD panel into one enormous joi…. ummm fantastic panel.

Heck, even one of the executives joked, “This is the Showtime mixer!” Granted, I’ve never seen Brotherhood, but at least I hear it’s good. The other shows I can vouch for. And I admittedly had a chill go up my spine when Michael C. Hall walked onto the stage. How can people not be afraid that this guy is going to stick a knife in their backs?

What’s really impressive was how much everyone looked like they had tried to dress like their characters, except Michael C. Hall who wore a sharp suit. David Duchovny was wearing a black button up shirt with a wrinkled black sportcoat, and Mary Louise Parker had on a sharp little cocktail dress and looked radiant in her gleaming white skin. How she’s lived in California all this time and not become tan, I’ll never know. She’s sitting on the far left, right next to David Duchovny, who’s sitting next to Michael C. Hall, who’s sitting next to Jason Clarke in an awesome row of Showtime star power.

Here’s what we learned from the panel:

Jimmy Smits is joining the cast this season on DEXTER as an assistant D.A. in Miami with great political ambition, and becomes the “first adult friend” to everyone’s favorite serial killer/blood splatter expert. When asked how he felt about that, Michael C. Hall remarked that he “now feels really short.” Ka-zing! He’s changing up his approach to the character a bit, as he did when he faced Keith Carradine last season. It’ll be hard to wait to see what he ends up tweaking.

Albert Brooks only appears in four episodes of WEEDS this year, so if you’re been keeping up and watching what’s already aired, shalom Mr. Brooks.

Tom Kapinos (creator and executive producer) said that this season of CALIFORNICATION will be all about the mystique of happy endings. Hank got everyhing he wanted last season, and now they’re going to investigate what happens to someone when they get what they’ve been striving for.

When asked about the fact that their shows are all critically acclaimed, but reach relatively small audiences, Blake Masters (creator and executive producer of BROTHERHOOD) said “Britney sells about a million more albums than Tom Waits does, but I listen to Tom Waits.” I get what he’s saying, but what a weird analogy.

Jenji Kohan of WEEDS said they felt like they’d covered all of the territory they could while poking fun at life in suburbia, which was why they decided to burn down Agrestic / Majestic and move the Botwins and her clan to a new locale entirely, which is why they’re living beachside now. In fact, Mary Louise wanted the show to begin the fourth season with the same old theme song, but to have a needle scratch suddenly cut it off midway through and eventually have the record break.

On whether on not they were planning anything big this season, Duchovny responded with: “We’re having a big WEEDS / CALIFORNICATION crossover.. and it starts right now. Next question.”

On playing Mulder again in the new X-FILES movie, Duchovny said he’s trying to play Mulder from 2008, and not from six years ago. “I can’t play in the same sandbox, I don’t walk as fast.”

Michael C. Hall related how he was exposed to CALIFORNICATION. “I was really hung over a few months ago, and I watched all of CALIFORNICATIONS first season over the course of one afternoon.” Duchovny: “And then he was admitted to the hospital.”

Someone asked David and Tom if everything had been resolved with the Red Hot Chili Peppers (there was a legal squabble over the name of the show, which is also a Chili Peppers song), and Tom said he’d been too busy making the show to even find out. One of the Showtime execs popped up to let us know that it’s all been resolved, to which Duchovny quipped, “The show will now be called ‘Hank Moody.’”

Zinger of the panel: Someone asked Michael C. Hall how his family felt about him portraying a serial killer. He replied “Hey, as long as I’m not kissing a black man!” Which of course got a big round of laughter. However, a reporter somewhere behind me said “What’s wrong with that?!” (and yes, he was African-American), which was pretty damned funny. Hall came back with “Absolutely nothing!”

Most clueless question of the panel: “David, I enjoy watching Evan Handler and Pam Adlon in your show. Who else do you and the rest of you enjoy watching?” I mean, do we really expect anything other than the party line from these actors? Of course they enjoy watching all of the other actors on their shows, which is what they said. Although kudos to Mary Louise Parker for saying that Hunter Parrish “Keeps growing every day as an actor.” He’s one of the best child actors I’ve seen working… spinoff Showtime!

Runner up:I s Dexter a sociopath? That was the basis of the question that some reporter asked. Simple enough, right? Well, he kept reiterating what he was asking, over and over, and before too long that turned into a rambling, long, ten minute diatribe. Michael C. Hall cracked up everyone by simply answering, “Yes.”