Though she was last seen testifying on TRUE BLOOD as a wannabe Tammy Faye Bakker, Kelli Maroney is best known as the 1980s scream queen who starred in Chopping Mall, Slayground and countless other similarly-titled B-movie thrillers. So maybe it makes sense that she’s now hoping to capitalize on her infamy in that genre with her participation in “Homecoming Queen at the End of the World,” the new Halloween single by one of the few rock bands that’ll leave you rolling on the floor laughing – New Orleans’ humbly named Consortium of Genius (think Dr. Horrible… only louder… and horrible-er).

“When I got into this business, I wanted to be Meryl  Streep,” the Night of the Comet cheerleader — who landed on the cover of People magazine thanks to her role as devilsh drama queen Kimberly on RYAN’S HOPE back in 1980 — admits to The TV Addict, “but I kept ending up in these campy films! It’s been a comedy of errors. But it’s okay. I’m having way more fun than I was planning on originally. This song was a huge hoot, and it makes me want to do more.”

Which is music to the ears of the C.O.G. “[Her meltdown monologue] really made the song complete,” says the group’s leader, mad scientist Dr. Milo Pinkerton III. “And given our longstanding connection with horror topics and legends [Crescent City freakshow host Morgus the Magnificent contributed to the 2006 track 'Science Fight'], it seemed like a perfect match!”

So do Maroney and The C.O.G. have on their hands the kind of “Monster Mash” that will gain them admittance to The Evil League of Evil? Click here to be transported to iTunes, have a listen — with the lights on, natch! — and judge for yourself!

The British invasion marches on this morning with the news that the Peacock network is developing a new take on the UK drama series PRIME SUSPECT. Also marching on: NBC’s apparent inability to develop an original idea. [Variety]

Katherine Heigl out! Robert Baker, Jesse Wililams and Nora Zehetner in! Media-in-a-tizzy! Shonda Rhimes Pissed! Heck, if the on-screen drama is even half as interesting as GREY’S ANATOMY off-screen drama this season, we’re in for one helluva ride. [E! Online]

We imagine ourselves changing the channel with the news that Sci Fi Syfy is developing both a cooking and a talk show in a rather desperate attempt to imagine a broader audience. [i09]

Diane Sawyer will replace Charlie Gibson as the anchor of ABC’s WORLD NEWS beginning in January 2010. Which means, NBC’s Brian Williams best be watching his back. Yeah, we’re looking at you Meredith Vieira. [TV Newser]

Wondering which Bon Temps denizen might not survive next week’s TRUE BLOOD season finale? Probably the one who just signed on to ABC’s midseason legal drama THE DEEP END. We’re just sayin’ [THR]

Perhaps TRUE BLOOD creator Alan Ball was using last night’s episode — which he scripted — to prove once and for all to the folks over at The CW that “WTF” has only one meaning, and it most certainly is not “Watch This Fall!” Or maybe he lost a bet and was forced to prove that his show could be every bit as confounding as David Lynch’s classic — if not always logical — TWIN PEAKS? How else to explain the meandering, pointless and (worst of all) boring outing that served as the season’s penultimate offering?

Yes, there were some fine moments — mostly between Sookie and Lafayette — and I would watch Tara and her mama braid one another’s hair, but far too much of the hour was wasted with ridiculous nonsense that failed to advance storylines or offer anything in the way of character development.

It doesn’t help that this season has been majorly derailed by the pointless and seemingly ill-conceived MaryAnn The Maenid, which felt tacked on by someone who realized that while Bill, Sookie, Jason and Eric were running around Texas, the folks back in Bon Temps would need something to do. Michelle Forbes has done her best with the part, but the mythology surrounding MaryAnn simply has not held together well.

Last night also saw the introduction of Evan Rachel Wood’s Queen Sophie-Ann, a potentially interesting character who felt somehow miscast. While I’ve been a fan of Wood’s work in the past, her performance here seemed forced. I’m sure someone thought it would be cute for Wood to play the ancient character as a willful child, but instead, much like Bill, I was anxious to leave her presence.

In fact, MaryAnn and Sophie might well represent exactly what’s wrong with TRUE BLOOD this season: We’ve spent so much time away from Bon Temps that the people we truly care about have been treated like second-class citizens. Last night, every delightful moment (Eric eyeing Arline’s kids as if he could just eat them up… literally) was overshadowed by a painfully awful one (Sookie being spooned by one of the town’s lusty loons). This second season should have stayed close to home, further exploring the characters we know and love while expanding their universe slightly with the addition of Jessica (whose romance with mama’s boy Hoyt has been a major highlight) and perhaps even Godric, who was sent into the light far too soon.

TRUE BLOOD did, as always, get the final moment of last night’s episode right: No series in recent memory has offered up such phenomenal cliffhangers. So of course, we’ll be tuning in next week to see what the heck comes out of that egg (not to mention who the heck it came out of!). But here’s hoping that when the writers begin plotting out next season, they remember to stick closer to Merlotte’s… and consider keeping Ball away from the typewriter.

TRUE BLOOD’s season finale hits HBO on Sunday, September 13.

Summer is typically a quiet time for TV watchers, but thanks to the proliferation of cable shows and broadcast networks burning off episodes, this summer was not without entertainment and some surprises. Below are the moments, actors, shows and realizations that surprised me this summer.

The supporting cast of NURSE JACKIE: Yes, Edie Falco is fabulous, but for me, it’s the people surrounding Jackie who make the series, especially Merritt Wever, Eve Best and Peter Facinelli. Each one adds something unique and unexpected to the show. Wever is absolutely hilarious. Best, who has the most amazing laugh, is the perfect juxtaposition to Jackie. Facinelli takes what could have been a jackass character and makes him a lovable doofus. I’m surprised and delighted that NURSE JACKIE has introduced me to Wever and Best. In a way, it feels like I’m also discovering Facinelli for the first time. I’ve seen and enjoyed him before in different movies and TV shows, but I’m pretty sure his shirtless chest did most of the acting in Fox’s short-lived FASTLANE.

Sebastian Stan on KINGS: Thanks to NBC banishing KINGS to summer burn-off theater on Saturdays, not too many viewers watched this epic and imaginative series. That’s too bad because as reliably magnificent as Ian McShane and Susanna Thompson were, the real surprise was Sebastian Stan. I’d seen the actor before on GOSSIP GIRL as Carter Baizen, a role he’ll be reprising this fall, but I had no idea he was capable of this. His Jack was complicated, tormented, selfish, lonely and desperately seeking love and acceptance. Watching him come to accept who he is as he stood up to his mother, was like watching Stan show us who he really is as an actor.

Bonus KINGS surprise: No show got a bigger gasp out of me this summer than when Silas yelled at Jack, “And you’re no prince, you faggot!”

TRUE BLOOD: I’m just not that into you. Earlier this summer, I made my way through the first season of the HBO series and it wasn’t love at first sight. I’m not even sure it was like. Everyone around me seems to be crazy for these vamps, but maybe I’ve had my fill of bloodsuckers because I just can’t get into TRUE BLOOD. I haven’t even attempted to watch season two yet and am in no rush to do so. Maybe my feelings will change if I ever getting around to it, but I’m having a hard time imagining myself getting over my annoyance with almost every character on the show.

DROP DEAD DIVA: The charming, funny Lifetime series and its extremely talented leading lady have captured my heart. Brooke Elliott is simply fabulous at balancing the duality of playing two characters. Congrats, Diva, on becoming the first original Lifetime series to land on my DVR record list. Thanks to you and SoapNet’s BEING ERICA, I’m starting to believe that all hope is not lost for shows about real women. Despite the fantastical premises of both series, they’re more relatable and grounded than the ladies of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.

MAKE IT OR BREAK IT, my new guilty pleasure: I thought it would be 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, which I enjoy and is more well-written, but no… At first, I found this series meh, and I still have my issues with Emily — do all her love interests keep disappearing because they’ve realized she’s really not that special? — but its soapy, teen drama storylines and pileup of secrets have quietly gotten me hooked. I have to give the show props for trying to make the adult characters interesting and integral. Susan Ward has taken what could have been a cartoonish character and given her real dignity and heart. Plus, I enjoy playing “Who will Sasha inappropriately flirt with this week?”

Uli doesn’t make the final four on PROJECT RUNWAY: ALL-STAR CHALLENGE: Yes, Daniel’s red carpet dress was fabulous and would look great on Nicole Kidman, although I’m still unclear about who exactly will be wearing the dress at the Nine premiere. The rest of his collection? Bizarre and boring. I loved Daniel and his designs in season 2 of PROJECT RUNWAY, so I can’t help wondering if the judges crowned him the winner because he was the fan favorite that year who didn’t win. And for that matter, did the judges punish Korto because she’s a sulky, sore loser? Has this women ever smiled during her time on the show? Still, I’d keep her in the top 4 and replace Sweet P’s overly twee collection with Uli’s sophisticated and impeccably crafted designs. But as PROJECT RUNWAY reminds me every season, what do I know about fashion?

What surprised you this summer?

Vlada resides in Los Angeles, where there are stars in the sky and on the ground. She has worked for TVWeek, Starpulse.com, SignOnSanDiego.com and The Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills, CA. She runs the TV blog Staying In and can be found on Twitter: @stayingin.

After two seasons GOSSIP GIRL’s Vanessa Abrams [Jessica Szohr] finally justifies her existence and bringing something to the table. That something — her TV mom Gabriela Abrams — who will be played by the phenomenal ALIAS/ FIREFLY alum Gina Torres [TVGuide]

In what we can only hope is some sort of friendly rivalry with Joss Whedon — who recently made headlines by snagging BATTLESTAR GALACTICA alum Jamie Bamber and Michael Hogan for his DOLLHOUSE — executive producer Jane Espenson has signed James Marsters to a sizable CAPRICA arc where he’ll play a dangerous terrorist leader by the name of Barnabus Greeley. Joss, it’s your move (Hint: Tricia Helfer would make an awesome doll!) [EW]

Sunday’s installment of TRUE BLOOD sucked in a record 4.5 million viewers. Further evidence that if you built it — ‘it’ being great television, even in the summer — viewers will come. How long until the big 5 networks get the message? [THR Live Feed]

“The Time Traveler’s Wife is being turned into a TV show. The plans are to go back in time and not cancel JOURNEYMAN.” — was our favorite reaction to ABC’s plans to turn the just released hit movie into a television series with [TheWrap]

Richard Hatch, once a survivor, now officially the biggest loser. [MSNBC]

Direct from Toronto’s Polaris Convention and just in time for this evening’s return of TRUE BLOOD, HBO’s deliciously addictive vampire series (that as it turns out, is a about a whole lot more than just blood suckers) comes this TV Addict’s new interview with Michelle Forbes, who plays the mysterious Maryann Forrester.

The TV Addict: Earlier in your career, it was widely reported that you turned down a series regular role on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE because you didn’t wish to commit to a series regular role on television at that point in your career. Why the change of heart with TRUE BLOOD?
Michelle Forbes: Alan Ball [TRUE BLOOD's creator]. He’s such a wonderful man to work for and I don’t think I’ve ever run into anyone who is not a fan of his. And, after DURHAM COUNTY and IN TREATMENT, I really wanted to do something light and fun. And while TRUE BLOOD is a very technically difficult show and there is a lot of depth to it, it’s illegal how much fun we’re having on the show. Which for me, was really important, to go and do something that was fun for a bloody change as supposed to being tortured all the time. Even though I was tortured on the show by having to face a few fears.

Would one of those fears have been TRUE BLOOD’s penchant for onscreen nudity?
Not really. I actually think we [as a culture] need to stop being so prudish about nudity and start being more european because it’s just nudity. For me what’s so great about being part of the TRUE BLOOD company, and I mean the entire company, the writers, the production team and definitely the actors is that it is the most fearless group of people that you will ever work with. Everybody’s just game for anything, everyone’s looking for that next challenge and when you’re surrounded by such courage, boldness and fearlessness, if you don’t join in, well… you just look like a stick in the mud. And I don’t think I’m spoiling anything when I say there are quite a few orgies on the show, and once you’re in the middle of the woods with a sea of naked people, it really becomes… just drinking coffee and chatting with the actors. Really no big deal.

Although we’re slowly learning what exactly Maryann is, we’re still waiting to find out what brings her to Bon Temps? Care to elaborate?
Is that not good television? When we don’t know quite yet! It’s really revealed over the season, as is so much about the show. If last year we were introduced to this very interesting and fascinating little town in Louisiana, this second year, the story blows open and sort of spins off into these little hurricane stories where Bill and Sookie go off to Dallas, you’ve got the Fellowship of the Sun story-line and then we have what’s still happening in Bon Temps with Maryanne and the crowd at Merlotte’s. It gets very insane this year [laughs]. 

There has been a lot of speculation online with regards to your character’s statue, can you elaborate as to its meaning?
The statue actually has enormous meaning as the season goes on. There has been a lot of interest about that statue and the Brooklyn Museum (which is where they [the creative team] found that statue and replicated it) have been inundated with people wanting to know about the statue, the history of it. So it’s really wonderful in a show that seems to be about vampires and what have you has now garnered this conversation about Greek mythology, ancient art and thoughts of injustice. That statue has a lot of meaning as we head like a train on fire throughout the rest of the season.

Do you have a theory as to why TRUE BLOOD seems to have made its way into the cultural zeitgeist?
My theory is that we’ve (America) been through eight years of nonsense and hell with the Bush administration — when our economy is just in utter chaos, people are out of work, and we’re stuck still in the middle of an endless war — there is something refreshing about being able to watch something that is fun and escapist. Plus, because it’s Allan Ball and our wonderful writers, the show still serves as a beautiful place for social commentary looking at injustice and compassion. Like BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, it’s never preachy about it, the show doesn’t tell you how to feel — rather it raises the questions and it does so in a small sleepy Louisiana town that is very diverse.

Plus: Lots of sexy people running around with no clothes on. Can’t beat that right?

“He’s a p***y! He’s the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.” — said TRUE BLOOD’s resident blood-sucker in a new interview with Marie Claire with regards to New Moon Rob Pattinson.

1. ELI STONE makes its long awaited return to ABC this Saturday with a road trip (10PM, ABC)

2. A blackout gives David and Michele some much needed alone time on KINGS (8PM, NBC)

3. Unlike Twilight, TRUE BLOOD it’s a vampire love story adults don’t have to be embarrassed too about (9PM, HBO)

4. A younger, better looking version of MERLIN welcomes viewers to The OC Camelot B*tch! (8PM, NBC)

5. The premiere of KILLER HAIR, a TV-movie based on the bestselling books by Ellen Byerrum, on the Lifetime Movie Network. Think MURDER, SHE STYLED. (8PM, LMN)