The TV Addict 

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
AMERICAN IDOL (8PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
Returning for its eight season, the reality TV juggernaut promises big changes. Will new judge Kara DioGuardi be enough to stem the rating slide? Will this be the season that Simon and Ryan Paula finally acknowledge all that pent up sexual tension? Will Randy have expanded his vocabulary passed “Dawg?” Will somebody pleeeaaasseeee wake us up when the contestants get to Hollywood.

90210 (8PM CW, 9PM Global in Canada)
Tabitha buys Annie and Dixon a brand new car without asking their mom for permission. Asking their mom for permission? How about asking us? Because there is no way all of Shenae Grimes off-screen antics warrant a new car. We’re just sayin’

LAW & ORDER: SVU (10PM NBC, CTV in Canada)
One dead teenager! Sex trafficking! Prostitution rings! Geez…. could SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT be anymore of a downer?

SCRUBS (9PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
Carla wants to teach a self-centered intern a lesson in humility. Hey, maybe that whole crossover with GREY’S ANATOMY that I suggested last week is coming to pass! In other news, Kelso and Cox team up to try and get rid of Dr. Maddox… and seeing as she’s portrayed by Courtney Cox, who only signed on for a three-episode arc, we’re betting his chances of success are pretty decent — CT

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE BIG BANG THEORY (8PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Wolowitz is a lean, mean love machine… if only in his own mind. But when Penny tries to burst his bubble, it’s gonna cause problems for everyone… including a slew of battle bots!

24 (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
We get another two hours of Day 7, and things will begin to make a little more sense tonight. Actually, most of you probably figured out some of what will be revealed. Look for some familiar faces to return and a major development in the annoying-but-apparently-necessary-on-this-show secondary storyline involving the First Husband’s situation. Sorry, but I’m already bored with that plot. Sherry Palmer he ain’t!

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (8:30PM CBS, E! in Canada)
Remember the famous episode of SEINFELD where Jerry and Elaine thought they could be friends with benefits? Remember how badly that turned out? Well, tonight we’ll find out if that notion works any better for Robin and Ted. On the downside, Spencer & Heidi of THE HILLS, along with some of their equallyuntalented reality brethren, do cameos.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30PM NBC, Global in Canada)
With Neil Patrick Harris hosting, you just know tonight’s installment is going to be (all together now) Legen… wait for it…dary.

NEW & NOTABLE:
MR. & MRS. SMITH (8PM FX)
Probably not Jennifer Ansiton’s favorite movie.

CONFESSIONS OF A TEEN IDOL (9PM VH1)
The series premiere gathers a septet of ’80s and ’90s heartthrobs like Jeremy Jackson, Dacid Chokachi and Jamie Walters to reflect on the consequences of fame and look ahead to the future. Here’s hoping the likes of the Jonas Brothers, Robert Pattinson and Miley Cyrus are taking copious notes.

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
LIPSTICK JUNGLE (9PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Yes, this show is still on and Yes, we watch it. Deal with it.

FLASHPOINT (9PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
The team deals with a most unusual situation when a kidnapper makes off with a billionaire’s wife. Seems the kidnapper doesn’t want money… he wants a confession. My confession: I’m just not that into this show. BUT have decided to tune in tonight thanks to guest starring turns by Wendy Crewson (AIR FORCE ONE) and Colm Feore (24)

NEW & NOTABLE:
HOWIE DO IT (8PM NBC, Global in Canada)
Before tuning into this prankfest, ask yourself a very important question: “Do I really need more Howie Mandell in my life? If the answer is yes, well… I’m sorry.

WIFE SWAP (8PM ABC)
This new outing should be a rollickin’ good time as a roller derby mom switches places with a woman who pushes her children to enter beauty pageants. Who can resist that combo?

GHOST WHISPERER (8PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Naysayers who fear DOLLHOUSE is doomed to fail because of its Friday night slot might take note of this hit, which also stars a hot chick with brunette hair. Tonight, Delia (Camryn Manheim) deals with her first full-on haunting.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
UGLY BETTY (8PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
Just when you thought this show couldn’t get any gayer (in a good way), along comes Broadway diva Bernadette Peters as an editor our heroine is desperate to impress. Need more? How about Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray as Betty’s counterpart at Elle magazine? And we’ll throw in that rag’s actual editors — Robbie Myers and Joe Zee — as an extra added bonus.

GREY’S ANATOMY (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
Expect a whole lot of whining as Meredity and Christina’s friendship takes another hit following the arrival of a death-row patient. Oh, and Izzy finally tells current-beau Alex that she’s been “sleeping with” late-beau Denny. Can’t wait to hear how that conversation goes.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Alec Baldwin’s Jack will be a busy beaver tonight as he wooes guest star Salma Hayek, helps Jenna land a new role and tries to help Tracy and his wife (Sherri Shepherd) get their marriage back on stable ground. Oh, and LIz meets a new guy.

NEW & NOTABLE:
NATIONAL BODY CHALLENGE (8PM Discovery Health)
The wanna-be losers chart their progress, but someone is having a really tough time getting with the program. Yes, Alex, we’re looking at you. Put down the booze and step away from the cigarettes! We’d say we’re all in this together, but… um, yeah, you’re on your own. It’s tequila shooter night at our place!

RAGING SHARKS (8PM SCI FI)
Having learned a thing or two from The Discovery Channel’s wildly popular Shark Week, Sci Fi offers up a double-dose of maneating goodness. First, at 8, comes RAGING SHARKS, in which Corin Nemic battles several of the title characters who have been made wildly aggressive thanks to… wait for it… wait for it… an object from outer space landing in the Bermuda Triangle! (Hey, it is the Sci Fi Channel! Then at 10 p.m. comes SHARKS IN VENICE and, well, the title tells you everything you need to know.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
DAMAGES (10PM FX)
Finally! The show we’ve been waiting for returns with William Hurt as Glenn Close’s latest client. We love this twisty thriller so much that we’ll even forgive them for having Regis & Kelly in a cameo.

NEW & NOTABLE:
SCRUBS (8PM ABC)
Poor PUSHING DAISIES. It gets bumped to make room for back-to-back SCRUBS reruns that ran yesterday! That just ain’t right.

GREAT PERFORMANCES (8PM PBS)
Kevin Kline and Jennifer Garner (ALIAS) star in a production of Cyrano de Bergerac. Kline’s large-nosed alter ego may have a tough time winning his true love seeing as the other side of the famous triangle is being played by Daniel Sunjuta, who was named one of People magazine’s 50 sexiest people in 2003.

PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS (9PM CBS)
With nominees like 27 DRESSES for Favorite Movie Comedy, THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES for Favorite Family Drama and Britney Spears’ guest spot on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER for Favorite Scene Stealing Guest Star, we’d like to know which People exactly are taking this award show seriously.

Adds Couch Tater: My choice would be to give a lot of awards to BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, TRUE BLOOD, BIG LOVE and ONE TREE HILL, but I’m betting that’s not how things will go. Queen Latifah is, however, a great choice for host.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
90210 (9PM CW, 8PM GlobalTV in Canada)
Kelly shares a secret with Brenda. Trust me, that’s the only thing that will be interesting in this episode unless you care about all those too-thin, self-absorbed teens running around town. Wake me up when more original cast members come on board.

SCRUBS (9PM ABC)
Courtney Cox does a guest gig as Kelso’s replacement, and in a twist right out of GREY’S ANATOMMY, JD finds himself saddled with a group of wildly incompetent interns. Hey, now that the two medical shows are on the same network, maybe a crossover would bring a whole bunch of new eyes to Sacred Heart hospital!

SCRUBS (9:30PM ABC)
We spend so much of the year lamenting the lack of new episodes put out by the shows that we love that it seems somehow wrong to waste two in a single night! But hey, it’s SCRUBS, so we won’t be doing all that much complaining. In this one, Dr. Maddox (aka Courtney Cox) reveals her true nature. Wonder if she’s a neat freak?

PRIVILEGED (9PM CW, CityTV in Canada)
Megan finally confronts her mom about those abandonment issues. Seeing as her mom is played by Sharon Lawrence — whom we would watch in absolutely anything, let alone a show as entertaining as this one — we are so gonna be tuning in. Plus, Lily lands in jail, and we don’t much care for her!

NIP/TUCK (10PM FX)
Those wacky doctors are back as Sean deals with the aftermath of his having been attacked and Matt considers medical school. Those weird-ass promose FX has been airing have done nothing but freak me out, and I may never forget that whole Build-A-Bear storyline from last season, but I still wouldn’t miss this for the world.

NEW & NOTABLE:
NCIS (8PM CBS, Global TV in Canada)
As the team is investigating the murder of a guard in a women’s prison, a riot breaks out. But the bigger question is: How is this series constantly among the top-rated shows on television? Nothing against it, but do you know anybody who watches? Or has even seen it? I’m just sayin’.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
GOSSIP GIRL (8PM CW)
Blair attempts to join a prestigious ladies club, which you just know ain’t gonna go well. Meanwhile, Jenny returns to school and prepares to take on some of the snobbier girls. Let the games begin!

NEW & NOTABLE:
SUPERSTARS OF DANCE (8PM NBC)
On the off chance that DANCING WITH THE STARS, AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW and SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE weren’t enough to quench your dance thirst.

THE BACHELOR (8PM ABC)
We’re completely and totally appalled by the way ABC is using Jason Mesnick’s kid as a “heartwarming” twist to this increasingly unromantic series. Here’s hoping Jason’s son isn’t dragged into this mess, because the only thing more disturbing than a man using this series to find “true love” is the notion of him using his son as a prop.

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER (8PM ABC Family)
Divorce ain’t cheap, which explains why when Annie asks for one, George moves into the garage to save a little money. While out there, he might wanna look for crap to sell on eBay. Trust us, people will buy anything!

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
LIPSTICK JUNGLE (8PM NBC)
A tip for all current and future showrunners: A sure sign that your network bosses no longer care about your show is when they dump air brand new episode during New Year’s Week. (For further evidence supporting our theory, see Tuesday’s barely watched new episode of ELI STONE)

NEW & NOTABLE:
SUGAR BOWL (8:15PM FOX)
“Go Team!” It’s what we’d be saying if we cared about football.

OCEAN’S 12 (8PM Oxygen)
Clooney, Pitt and Co. rob viewers of two hours of their life as they laugh all the way to the bank. Yup, still bitter!

NEW & NOTABLE:
KNIGHT RIDER (8PM NBC)
The good news: There’s something new on tonight! The bad: It’s this. Given how many people we know who’ve gotten sick of late, it’s somewhat appropriate that in tonight’s episode a Y2K-like bug infects our favorite talking car. And by “favorite” we mean “by default ’cause it’s the only one we know of.

MACHINES OF MALICE (8PM Discovery)
Watch this hour focused on torture devices like the guillotine and electric chair… and then drift off to pleasant dreams of using them on, say, your boss.

ALL MY CHILDREN (8PM SOAPnet)
Once again proving that the folks at ABC really know how to celebrate the holidays, this rerun focuses on Ryan and Annie’s desperate search for their missing daughter and Zach’s being told that Kendall probably won’t be waking up anytime soon. At 10 p.m., those fun-lovin’ ABC folks will keep things festive with a rerun of GH featuring the Black & White Ball. You know, the one where a madman ran around stabbing people and one of the show’s most beloved heroines, Emily Quartermaine, was strangled to death. Happy New Year, everyone!

DICK CLARK’S PRIMETIME NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ EVE WITH RYAN SEACRESST 2009 (10PM ABC)
Talk about a title that’s a mouthful! And it doesn’t even mention the musical guests or our very favorite party, which is the idea of Kelli Pickler serving as “correspondent.” For some reason, that makes us giggle.

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