On this morning’s edition of THE EARLY SHOW, MURPHY BROWN star Candice Bergen revealed that Heather Locklear was in fact the network’s first choice to play the show’s titular character.

This Thursday, WILL & GRACE alum Megan Mullally will drop by PARKS AND RECREATION to play the ex-wife of Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman), who according to the Pawnee politico himself may-or-may-note-have been “programmed by someone from the future to destroy all happiness.” More surprising still, Mullally is Offerman’s wife in real life.

Now pay attention, because this one’s a doozy: Teri Hatcher’s fictional small-screen son MJ played by Mason Vale Cotton on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES is the real-life brother of Rachel Griffiths fictional TV son Cooper Whedon played by Maxwell Perry Cotton on BROTHERS & SISTERS. Got that?

Why did Jennifer Grey have the time of her life guest starring on the upcoming November 18th episode of THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE? It probably had something to do with getting paid to spend the week with her off-screen better half Clark Gregg.

Regardless of whether FLASHFORWARD’s special agent Demetri Noh really ends up dead by April 29th, 2010, of this we know for sure. We’d kill for John Cho’s genes, who if his imdb profile is to believed, is actually 37!

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (8PM CBS)
The fourth season concludes with me still never having seen it. Wait, does she really call Scott Bakula’s character “Papa Jeff?” Is that as creepy as it sounds? Anyway, Christine and the guy I can only assume isn’t her daddy rekindle their feelings at Richard’s wedding. But then she gets a major shock. (Despite having never seen a single episode, I’m going to guess the twist involves a pregnancy. Let me know tomorrow if I was right, okay kids?) — CT

GARY UNMARRIED (8:30PM CBS)
The title of tonight’s outing is “Gary Fixes Allison’s Garbage Disposal” but I hear that’s just a euphamism for “they have sex.”

NEW & NOTABLE:
TAKE THE LEAD (8PM CW)
Fun Fact: Co-Starring The TV Addict’s real-life brother!

BIG MOVIE PREMIERE: TERMINATOR SALVATION (8PM TVGuide Channel)
Sure, it’s just a big ol’ ad for one of Summer’s first blockbusters, but it’s the best thing those mourning the cancellation of THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES have to help ease their pain.

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS)
The team is after a serial killer in Detroit. You know, if there were as many serial killers in the real world as there are on TV, I think they’d have all run out of victims by now.

HANNITY (9PM FOX News)
The accidental funnyman gets facts wrong, avoids Keith Olbermann’s waterboarding challenge and generally flounders around as if he has a clue what he’s talking about when clearly he doesn’t. Basically, we could run this same listing for any episode of his show.

LAW & ORDER (10PM NBC)
Stolen skates play into tonight’s tale, as do dead people, a serial killer and a copycat.

MAKE ME A SUPER MODEL (10PM Bravo)
This show loves to strip it’s models down, and we love them for doing so. Tonight, they do a sizzling photoshoot on a frigid beach. Hey, nobody said being a model was easy!

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Viewing advice for tonight’s fifth season finale: Sit yourself down with a pillow firmly planted in your lap. It will save you the pain from the inevitable jaw-dropping game-changer of an ending. Trust us.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
Somebody not named Adam Lambert says goodbye.

NEW & NOTABLE:
TIME WARP (8PM Discovery)
Deadly snakes and sumo wrestlers are observed. Hopefully not at the same time.

LAW & ORDER: CI (8PM NBC)
Wheeler and her partner, Det. Zack Nichols (Jeff Goldblum) investigate the stabbing of an artist. Turns out everybody is a critic.

I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT (9PM TLC)
Proving that MAD MEN’s first season finale wasn’t nearly as ludicrous as we all thought, this TLC special profiles women who are most definitely not smarter than a fifth grader give birth without ever knowing they were pregnant.

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
Just as the swine flu hysteria seems to have dissipated, along comes a killer who releases a deadly virus into the open air. D’oh!

CSI: NY (10PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Star Melina Kanakeredes penned the episode which means fans should prepare themselves for a lot of references to ancient Greece and some really difficult name pronunciations.

First let’s be clear. The William S. Paley Television Festival is this TV Addict’s Super Bowl equivalent. So much so that for three out of the past four years, I’ve shelled out far too much money than I care to think about for the privilege of spending one week in Los Angeles amidst some of my favorite television show’s casts and creative teams (click here for coverage.)

That said, Daniel Fienberg’s recent column asking, “Has the Paley Festival lost its way?” really got me thinking. And not just about how I can legally change my last name so that it fits into a clever blog title like “The Fien Print.”  

Rather, I’ve been thinking about what I would do if I programmed Paley. And how for every show that is worth honoring this year (see: BIG LOVE and DR. HORRIBLE’s SING-ALONG BLOG) there seems to be an equal number of shows that have yet to prove themselves worthy of sharing the same stage with the likes of past honourees including DEXTER, THE SOPRANOS and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (see: 90210 and DOLLHOUSE.)

Don’t get me wrong, the TV Addict loves Joss Whedon as much as the next Browncoat. But even the most ardent of Whedon supporters would have to concede that awarding his fledging new series DOLLHOUSE a spot among the Paley elite is a wee bit premature. Especially when you consider that Whedon is already being singled out for his ground-breaking new media experiment DR. HORRIBLE’s SING-ALONG BLOG.

In fact, a more cynical TV Addict might speculate that the current trend in Paley programming is to honor shows with a young and vibrant fan base that can handily sell out Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome and simultaneously line the Paley Center for Media’s coffers. Which by the way, I’m not the least bit adverse to considering the countless hours I’ve spent enjoying both the New York and Los Angeles based museums. I just can’t help but feel that there may have been some slightly overlooked and far more deserving shows that could have been included in this year’s festivities.

I mean come’on — 90210? Have the Paley programmers even watched the series?

If I programmed Paley, Julia Louis Dreyfus’ phenomenally underrated NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE would be honored well before relative newcomer THE BIG BANG THEORY. A timely look at the history of late night television featuring a panel of past, current and future hosts would be closing out the Festival rather than the already cancelled and little watched SWINGTOWN. While ABC Family’s GREEK would get some long overdue praise in place of 90210. The latter of which has absolutely no place in any television related festival unless of course it’s headlining a panel entitled, “How NOT to relaunch a cultural icon.”

And don’t even get me started on the inclusion of THE HILLS, because honestly, I’m at a loss for words. Or at the very least, words that are safe for work.

Related Articles of Interest:
The William S. Paley Festival Celebrates “The Hills” And Its Contribution To Television Culture
Has the Paley Festival lost its way?

So kudos to the Tiffany network for finally putting together a hilarious string of shows that doesn’t include a reality TV show, a police procedural and/or the train wreck I like to call BIG BROTHER. Now onto some random musings:

THE BIG BANG THEORY
Sandwiched between the show’s hilarious opening and closing credits, THE BIG BANG THEORY not only makes this TV Addict laugh, it more importantly makes me feel a lot better about my slightly nerdy tendencies. In other words, no matter how bad things get, I’m no WoloWizard.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
As much as I loved Ted, Marshall, Lily and the Blarneystone, surely I’m not the only TV Addict starting to feel bad for Robin. With her and Ted officially kaput, is she ever going to get a story-line that doesn’t involve playing the sidekick?

TWO AND A HALF MEN
Here’s an experiment for the brainiacs on THE BIG BANG THEORY. Try figuring out what sixteen million Americans find funny about Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer. Because this TV Addict didn’t even laugh two and a half times.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
Julia Louise-Dreyfu, Wanda Sykes and pot not only equal one funny episode, but begs the obvious question. What exactly are the CBS powers that be smoking to not have already renewed THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE for a third season?

ELI STONE
ELI STONE has something for everyone. It’s the ultimate TV mash-up. Medical mystery, law, order, ghosts, visions, mythology, romance and EVERWOOD alumni Tom Amandes. Heck, it even has a weekly musical number for the few fans old enough to remember COP ROCK. All it needs now is a break. As if having an inoperable brain aneurysm wasn’t bad enough, does Eli really need to find himself unemployed come fall 2008? Show a little compassion by tuning into ELI STONE this Thursday following a brand new episode of LOST at 10PM on ABC.

LIPSTICK JUNGLE
Something unexpected happened when this TV Addict stuck around for LIPSTICK JUNGLE’s third episode. I found myself starting to like these characters. Aside from really cool names, Nico, Wendy and Victory have it all. Money, power, looks and fame. The only thing that’s missing are viewers. Which you can easily remedy by tuning into the season finale this Thursday at 10PM on NBC.

ALIENS IN AMERICA
Just because the CW eliminated its comedy department doesn’t mean the laughter has to die. ALIENS IN AMERICA is undoubtedly the funniest show you’re not watching. Don’t believe me? Check out last night’s installment as Son Justin [Dab Byrd] ends up playing opposite his Mom Frannie [Amy Pietz] in a community production of RENT. Awkward and embarrassing yes, but like every episode of ALIENS, it’s balanced perfectly with humor and heart.

LOST
So you’re probably surprised to see LOST on this list. But what’s even more surprising is that in its most exhilarating season to date, LOST continues to hemorrhage viewers. According to Variety, last week’s incredible episode set a record low for the show. Which can only mean one thing. America is officially dumber than a fifth grader. Smarten up! Don’t miss Thursday’s mid-season finale at 9PM on ABC.

Naturally, this ridiculous oversight begs the obvious question. Is it possible the network is prejudice against hilariously funny shows simply because of the number of words in their title? In this era of post-WGA strike cost cutting measures, will all shows on the Tiffany network be mandated to start with those three magical letters ‘CSI’? Would HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER have more success if it changed its name to WITHOUT A MOTHER? Should THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE consider the more succinct COLD OLD CHRISTINE?

What exactly do HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE have to do to garner a little respect on Monday nights? Because clearly, being genuinely funny simply isn’t good enough.

Tonight at 9PM, FOX welcomes not one, but two old friends back into the fold. TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES returns after a one week hiatus courtesy of last weeks State of the Union Address. And with it, the much anticipated first look at the notorious B.A.G. Yes my fellow BEVERLY HILLS 90210 addicts, after almost ten years, Brian Austin Green returns the network that made him famous as… Well, thanks to the ultra-secretive showrunner Josh Friedman we really have no idea who or what Brian Austin Green plays. But we’re excited to find out. [Click here for a first look at Brian Austin Green]

Another show that makes its long awaited return to TV tonight: THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE. Yet rather than go on a predictable rant as to why OLD CHRISTINE is one of television’s most under-appreciated gems and why viewers should tune in, if only to remind themselves that the classic sitcom is far from dead. I’ll simply quote frequent theTVaddict.com contributer Amrie who said this after watching last week’s rebroadcast of May’s season finale, “Why have I not given more attention to THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE over the past seasons?  Just watched a rerun and it was hilarious!” Amrie, we couldn’t have said it better ourselves.