The TV Addict 

This summer, Lifetime’s ARMY WIVES has proven to be a wildly entertaining series with some of the most likable characters around. And Sunday night’s finale gave fans exactly what they’ve come to expect: A little romance, a few tears, a hokey moment or two and even a little bit of flag-waving patriotism. But can anyone tell me why the network gave away the “shocking” ending a full week in advance? Viewers who’d seen the previous week’s teaser for the finale knew that someone would walk into the Hump Bar with a bomb strapped to their chest. What we didn’t realize that the moment wasn’t leading up to the cliffhanger, but actually WAS the cliffhanger! Getting all the lead characters together in order to put them in jeopardy is a tried-and-true soap device which was deftly used by the WIVES writers, who probably weren’t thrilled to have their carefully constructed cliffhanger blown by an over-eager PR department.

Why is SURVIVOR heading to China? Have they learned nothing? Past seasons have proven that when the show leaves the beach, viewers tend to abandon ship. I could be wrong, but I think the producers are putting a whole lot more stock into the fact that – as the commercials love to remind us – “for the first time ever” an American television show is filming in the shadow of an ancient mountain… I’m sorry, how long was I asleep? Yes, I’ll tune in on September 20th… but if there aren’t a few interesting folks making the journey, don’t expect me to stick around. And by “interesting” I don’t mean nasty. That’s a casting mistake BIG BROTHER made this season, and if I get even the vaguest hint that the new survivors will prove as unlikable a bunch as their house-bound brethren, I’ll be flipping channels quicker than you can say “the tribe has spoken.”

Usually by this time of year, I’m frantically trying to figure out how I’m going to watch all the great new shows I’m excited to see. This year… not so much? Is it just me, or does the crop of fall programs being offered seem even more lackluster than usual? Have we just been spoiled by the great shows on cable? Help me out, here, folks, because I’m getting depressed. Convince me that at least a few of the new shows coming out are worth getting excited about!

Check out this hysterical SURVIVOR: RACE CHALLENGE parady that MADTV did. SNL, take notes, this is what a funny late night show is all about (not tired Bush jokes).

Did last night’s season premiere of SURVIVOR: RACE CHALLENGE, sorry COOK ISLANDS live up to the massive media hype? Were viewers really offended by the controversial new format (tribes divided by racial lines). Did it really have an effect on ‘the game’. Does anyone still care? Honestly, it’s too soon to tell, but here’s a tribe-by-tribe breakdown of what went down.

The Asian Tribe
The older ’slightly off his rocker’ Cai Boi was definitely the highlight of the episode. From his early stereotypical Asian jokes – “we’re short and like rice” to his homegrown medical treatment for Brad’s headache, every-time Cai Boi was on screen, I paid attention.

The White Tribe
Flicka you annoy me already. Firstly, your ‘friends’ call you Flicka? Seriously? How old are you, five? Grow up and get a real name. Aside from letting your one chicken free, your name alone deserved you a trip off the island. Also, last night’s premiere helped viewers answer that age old question, How many white folks does it take to catch a chicken? Apparently more then five.

The Latino Tribe
Latino tribe member Billy had the best line of the night as he spoke while paddling towards the island. “I don’t know about you, but I feel this is ass backward, like our parents got on a raft — at least my parents did — and paddled away from an island just so I could have a good life, and here I am paddling back to an island.”

The African American Tribe
Not much to say here except they’re now one member short, and thanks to all of Sekou’s continuous whining during the episode, I’m not that surprised. Congratulations Sekou, your legacy is set in stone. The first one kicked off SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS.

When all is said and done, the show was essentially another run-of-the-mill episode of SURVIVOR. I watched the beginning, fast forwarded through the challenge and finished off with tribal council. Watching the episode really just reinforced the fact that not much has changed since I stopped watching SURVIVOR after season 3.

The ‘race card’ was a brilliant yet desperate attempt for ratings and media hype. Congratulations Mark [Burnett, Survivor Creator], it worked. You got me — I tuned it (and wrote abou it!). But if you’d like me to continue watching the show, you’ll have to give me a little more entertainment. After 13 seasons of SURVIVOR, I don’t blame you, Where else could you go? The ‘race card’ was an obvious choice. But do me a favour and call me when you pull out your last remaining card – I’ll be sure to tune in for SURVIVOR: THE RELIGIOUS CHALLENGE (Christians, Muslims, Jews and Scientologists)

[theTVaddict.com note] Recently, Jenny (author of THIS WEEK ON TV) had the chance to take part in a press conference with SURVIVOR host Jeff Probst. The following is her preview of the new season: SURVIVOR COOK ISLANDS.]

If you have never watched Survivor, this season may be a reason to start. Host Jeff Probst is more excited about this season than he has been since Season 1. He said it has re-energized them, that the show & contestants have a freshness like Season 1 had. He believes they have reinvented Survivor, that there is no going backwards now. The reason for this excitement? This season, there are 20 contestants. They will be split into 4 groups of 5 each. Now, that in and of itself isn’t a big deal, right? The shock to everyone is that they will not be divided by age or sex, but by race: whites, blacks, Asians & Hispanics. Shocking, yes?

In a recent press conference, Jeff also said that most people flinch when they first hear the decision because it is such a sensitive topic, but that he thinks if they give it a chance, they will be surprised. “This show has completely changed my perspective about how I view other ethnicities,” Jeff remarked. “Not in terms of judging them but in terms of understanding that it’s ok to not know something, and it’s ok to ask the questions [when you don't].” He said he came to that realization after spending 39 days with the castaways and seeing the ethnic pride in all the groups.

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In all honesty, I stopped watching SURVIVOR after SURVIVOR: AFRICA (with the exception of the ALL-STARS edition). That said, I know a lot of readers LOVE the original reality mega-hit, so here’s some news. Direct from the PR department of CBS:

CBS today announced the 20 new castaways who will compete in SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS when the 13th installment of the Emmy Award-winning series premieres Thursday, Sept. 14 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS will feature the series’ most ethnically diverse cast to date. The castaways will initially be organized into four tribes divided along ethnic lines (African-American, Asian-American, Hispanic and White) before merging in a later episode.

In addition, throughout the series, at least one castaway each episode will be banished to a separate island (Exile Island) miles away from camp. While being separated from the tribe is not desirable, the castaways will learn that there is a hidden Immunity Idol somewhere on Exile Island. If found, this Immunity Idol could save an individual from being voted out at a future Tribal Council.

Looks like creator Mark Burnett is scraping the bottom of the barrel in a desperate attempt to generate buzz for the thirteenth season of SURVIVOR. While some may see this ‘division via ethnic lines’ as an interesting twist on a tired series, this TV addict sees it as more of a ratings ploy to gain some attention and media coverage. Honestly, after 12 seasons of SURVIVOR, mabye it’s time to take a rest for a season (or at least half a season). Is there really a need for two cycles of SURVIVOR every season? What’s next? SURVIVOR 14, with the cast divided by height? Wait, that won’t generate nearly enough media interest. How about SURVIVOR 14, the religious challenge. We’ll have the tribe divided into Christians, Jews, Muslims etc… Now there’s a reality show that will generate some serious controversy!

If you are still excited for SURVIVOR 14: ETHNIC DIVERSITY CHALLENGE, click over to the official CBS SURVIVOR site for the complete list of castaways.