On this morning’s edition of THE EARLY SHOW, MURPHY BROWN star Candice Bergen revealed that Heather Locklear was in fact the network’s first choice to play the show’s titular character.

This Thursday, WILL & GRACE alum Megan Mullally will drop by PARKS AND RECREATION to play the ex-wife of Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman), who according to the Pawnee politico himself may-or-may-note-have been “programmed by someone from the future to destroy all happiness.” More surprising still, Mullally is Offerman’s wife in real life.

Now pay attention, because this one’s a doozy: Teri Hatcher’s fictional small-screen son MJ played by Mason Vale Cotton on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES is the real-life brother of Rachel Griffiths fictional TV son Cooper Whedon played by Maxwell Perry Cotton on BROTHERS & SISTERS. Got that?

Why did Jennifer Grey have the time of her life guest starring on the upcoming November 18th episode of THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE? It probably had something to do with getting paid to spend the week with her off-screen better half Clark Gregg.

Regardless of whether FLASHFORWARD’s special agent Demetri Noh really ends up dead by April 29th, 2010, of this we know for sure. We’d kill for John Cho’s genes, who if his imdb profile is to believed, is actually 37!

The resurgence of PARKS AND RECREATION continued last night with a hilarious Halloween themed instalment that had Amy Poehler’s Leslie Knope matching wits with 15-year old teenage hooligan named Greg Pikitis. Not only did Pikitis — or as we’re calling him, the most diabolical teenaged vandal since the heydays of one Bart Simpson — provide for an eerily perfect foil for Knope, his shenanigans managed to give hilarious co-stars Louis CK and Chris Pratt some much deserved time in the spotlight. So much so that we’re really hoping this little trick-or-treat-battle-of-wits becomes a PARKS AND RECREATION annual tradition.

Putting aside the fact that this TV Addict is fairly confident I’m the only person in North America who didn’t know who Jeff Dunham was until last night, nobody does road trips like 30 ROCK. Be it a plane trip with hallucinogenic Oprah, Liz’s High School reunion or last night’s talent search that had Liz and Jack travelling to Kenneth’s home-town of ‘Small Town USA,’ last night’s 30 ROCK was a barrel of laughs. With bonus points for an always hilarious Jenna spoiling five season of LOST mythology mere months before all will be revealed, “You know, I met J.J. Abrams once. And I don’t know what this means, but he said the island is just Hurley’s dream.”

And speaking of LOST, if it’s wrong to be this excited for a fifteen second trailer featuring absolutely no new footage, I don’t want to be right.

1. The COMMUNITY series premiere. [iTunes Link]
2. The PARKS AND RECREATION season premiere. [iTunes Link]
3. The 90210 season premiere. [iTunes Link]
4. The MELROSE PLACE series premiere. [iTunes Link]
5. The BORED TO DEATH series premiere. [iTunes Link]

On Friday, Jon Gosselin sat down with GOOD MORNING AMERICA’s Chris Cuomo to complain that the media and the tabloids are exploiting his children for financial gain. Apparently, if anyone is going to exploit his children for financial gain it’s going to be him and Kate. After-all, they were totally there first. [E! Online]

Good News: In an effort to inject some more laughs into the fledging sophomore comedy, a SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE cast member will be dropping by Amy Poeher’s PARKS AND RECREATION this fall. Bad News: Said cast member is its weakest link, the highly unfunny Fred Armisen. [EW]

Contrary to popular belief, the Charles Toberman Estate (a Los Angeles mansion most famous for being the home of Vincent Chase and Co. during the first two seasons of ENTOURAGE) did not try to end its own life following the embarrassment that comes with being associated with the current dreadful season of ENTOURAGE. Rather, it was an unfortunate victim of the tragic wildfires that are currently plaguing California. [PerezHilton]

What do 90210 star Shenae Grimes and the TV Addict have in common? Well, aside from a lack of acting ability on both our parts, a love of Pinkberry. Score one for Shenae! [LA Times]

SMALLVILLE (8PM CW)
When Tess and Lois clash, expect the unexpected. The eight-season finale also features Oliver stepping in when Clark seems kinda reluctant to kill Doomsday.

PARKS & RECREATION (8:30PM NBC, 9PM CityTV in Canada)
Frankly, I don’t think you should be able to tout something as a “season” finale unless you’ve aired at least 13 episodes, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway, this disappointing series — which managed to pick up a renewal for no reason other than it’s pedigree — wraps up with Andy’s first gig since he broke his legs in the pit. (That probably means something to the four of you still watching.)

GREY’S ANATOMY (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
The two-hour, fifth-season finale might just as well be called “Will They Or Won’t They?” as Izzie decides whether to have surgery, Mark decides what to do with Lexie and Bailey finds out whether or not she’ll be accepted into a pediatrics fellowship.

THE OFFICE (9PM NBC, Global in Canada)
The wildly-uneven fifth season wraps on a high note if only because it marks the return of Amy Ryan as Holly, the one woman who managed to make Michael seem like a human being.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Why do I love this show so? Because somehow, despite her legendary status as a loser in love, Liz Lemon manages to close out season three as a “relationship expert.”

SUPERNATURAL (9PM CW)
If it’s the fourth-season finale, that must mean the apocalypse is here! Sam and Dean deal with Lucifer… and Ruby helps one of the boys try to destroy Lilith. Talk about your jam-packed agendas!

NEW & NOTABLE:
BONES (8PM FOX, 10PM Global in Canada)
The entire team falls under suspicion after someone is murdered at a nightclub. But the real mystery here is how the heck Motley Crue wound up guest gigging! This could be intriguing. (Click here for video)

MY NAME IS EARL (8PM NBC)
In the fourth-season finale — and in other news, Holy Crap, this show has been on four years? — Earl tries to find Dodge’s daddy. I haven’t seen this show since early in season two. How’s it holding up, faithful readers?

SURVIVOR (8PM CBS, Global in Canada)
Anybody else kinda shocked that Coach is still in this? Tonight, he has to work hard to avoid elimination, and Erinn makes a careless slip of the tongue that could put her in hot water as well.

CSI (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
Rare poker chips are at the heart of an investigation, and Ray faces a crisis after he has to use lethal force for the first time. (Having written that description, I now want to go gamble after killing a co-worker.)

HELL’S KITCHEN (9PM FOX, 10PM Global in Canada)
The two remaining chef’s battle it out and a winner is determined.

SOUTHLAND (9PM NBC)
It’s all fun and games — and jewel thievery — until one of your rich friends is a victim, right Ben? Meanwhile, Bryant takes Janilla under his wing until the trial starts.

BEING ERICA (10PM SOAPnet)
The first-season finale finds Erica revisiting her brother’s death. Hey, while she’s at the cemetary, maybe she could toss a few flowers onto the graves of the soap opera genre that this network seems determined to kill!

FASHION SHOW (10PM Bravo)
The designers work on two styles, one on a budget and one without. Wonder which one guest judge Tinsley Mortimer would wind up wearing? (Am I the only one who has no clue who this Tinsley person is, save for the occasional GOSSIP GIRL reference?)

SYBIL (10PM Lifetime)
If you missed the original broadcast of this remake — starring Jessica Lange and Tammy Blanchard — here’s another chance to instead go out and rent the far-superior original, which starred Sally Field.

CSI: NY (10PM CBS)
A kidnapping turns deadly when one of the CSI team is killed and another is seriously wounded. Oh, yeah, this is definitely a season finale.

SOUTHERN BELLES: LOUISVILLE (11PM SOAPnet)
Oh, look, it’s the supposed soap opera channel taking yet another chance to pre-empt the dramas that are their bread and butter for a cheap knock-off of a reality genre. Heck, here it’s not even an actual episode, but a preview of the show… and that same preview will run again at 11:30 p.m. Trust us: these Belle’s ain’t got nothing on the various HOUSEWIVES that Bravo has turned into a successful franchise.

PARKS AND RECREATION (8:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Leslie invites a reporter to cover her park project, but the resulting article isn’t what she had in mind. You know, kind of like the early reviews for PARKS AND RECREATION.

SUPERNATURAL (9PM CW)
Getting our vote for the best episode title of the season (and there’s been no shortage of great ones courtesy of Kripke) comes “Jump the Shark,” which features Sam and Dean agreeing to meet with a 19 year old man named Adam who claims to be John Winchester’s long lost son.

GREY’S ANATOMY (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
George, who we’re fairly sure has clocked, like what, four minutes of screen time this season outshines Alex in trauma surgery. Awkward.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Good News: Liz goes engagement ring shopping. Bad News: With Jack, who is considering taking his relationship with Elisa (Salma Hayek) to the next level.

SOUTHLAND (10PM NBC, CTV in Canada)
In a bizarre case of art imitating life, famous actor Tom Sizemore plays famous actor Tom Sizemore who finds himself, you guessed it, in trouble with the law; Proving (a) Either Sizemore has a sense of humor, or (b) Sizemore really needs a paycheck.

PRIVATE PRACTICE (10PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
No good deed goes unpunished when Pete’s popularity takes a hit with the wonderful Lisa (Idina Menzel) as a result of Violet’s pregnancy.

PARKS & RECREATION (8:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
The pilot didn’t blow me away, but I’m willing to give another shot to anything that puts Amy Pohler on the screen. Tonight, her alter ego, Leslie, goes door-to-door in the hope of building support for her latest project.

THE OFFICE (9PM NBC)
This show has taken a very unfunny turn of late, but one thing that definitely works is the relationship between Jim and Charles. It’s easy to see how the behavior we’ve found charming in Jim over the years would be viewed completely differently by a corporate type. Tonight, Dwight decides to become Charles’ new best bud.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
With film execs considering pulling the plugs on Jenna’s Janis Joplin project, she and Jack work to stir up some buzz. And Liz? She’s going a little bit nuts thanks to her forced suspension.

HARPER’S ISLAND (10PM CBS, Global in Canada)
The wedding party goes on a scavenger hunt, but what they’re likely to find is another body! This fun romp is officially my favorite show of the spring season. (At least until GLEE launches in May!)

SOUTHLAND (10PM NBC, CTV in Canada)
An abandoned baby stirs up memories of the past in Lydia, while Bryant and Moretta take unusual steps to protect a young woman.

NEW & NOTABLE:
MY NAME IS EARL (8PM NBC)
Joy’s bullying takes center stage as Randy tries to avoid it and Earl reflects on his own childhood experiences with a meanie.

ALL MY CHILDREN (8PM SOAPnet)
If it’s Thursday, it must be Kendall’s day to declare Ryan the love of her life. Friday will be Zach’s day and next Tuesday she’ll give Petey the eye.

SURVIVOR (8PM CBS, Global in Canada)
We’re intrigued by the title of tonight’s episode: “The Biggest Fraud In The Game.” Who might it be referring to? Expect details to unfold after a trio of contestants share an off-site reward together.

BONES (8PM FOX)
The Jeffersonian team dives (somewhat reluctantly) into the death-metal scene after finding out that a band in Norway has been using an actual human skull during their performances.

SAMANTHA WHO? (8:30PM ABC)
What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas for Sam, who winds up losing bigtime. Meanwhile, best-sidekicks-ever Andrea and Dena ask favors of one another.

CSI (9PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
I’m not a big fan of this show, but I’ll admit it: The intriguing commercial for this episode — in which Hodges and Wendy investigate the death of a beloved sci fi actor — reeled me in. It just looks like a hoot and a half. That’s right, I said hoot and a half.

HELL’S KITCHEN (9PM FOX,)
I might watch this with the sound off if only because the remaining chef’s are heading to Atlantic City’s Borgata hotel, which is one of my favorite places. I don’t wanna hear Gordon screaming, but I’d like to see the restaurant the winner will wind up cooking at.