The TV Addict 

In anticipation of tonight’s ONE TREE HILL season finale, this TV Addict thought he’d post a few photos from my recent trip to the CW Up Front in New York City. Not surprisingly, unlike some of the more standoffish GOSSIP GIRL cast members, the denizens of Tree Hill were more than accommodating when it came to taking photos.
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Normally, I ask y’all not to judge me. But today… yeah, feel free. Because I’m gonna admit that last night, I watched FARMER WANTS A WIFE. Not that I’ll be making that mistake again. Where the heck do they find these people? From the kinda creepy titular farmer, Matt, to the ladies competing to play hen to his rooster, this show was a mess. And not the kind that comes with the word “hot” before it. Of course, several of the women are virgins, because that’s the new thing on reality. (When even PARADISE HOTEL 2 landed one, virginity officially became a reality trend.) And what are we to make of Josie, the republican who declares that she wants to live on a farm so she can ride horses and attend polo matches, because “a farmer’s wife doesn’t work. She has people who work for her.” If there’s one thing the women — save Brooke, who actually, heaven help her, seems like a nice gal — have in common, it is that they believe “big city” guys are losers. Hello, pot? This is kettle. I will, however, give the show credit for having one of the most unusual elimination ceremonies in the history of reality television: Each girl had to pick up a live chicken to see if it was sitting on an egg, with the egg-free lass being sent back to the city. I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried. Given that the first episode ended with Farmer Matt sending Stephanie packing instead of the idiotic Josie, who is obviously there to create drama and wouldn’t accept if this guy proposed anyway, tells you everything you need to know. Obviously, producers had more to say about the outcome than the farmer, so having the entire thing come down to the laying of an egg is wildly appropriate.

Anybody else think BROTHERS & SISTERS moved way too fast with Kitty and Robert? Why the heck are they suddenly all about having a baby? Haven’t they been married for, like, three minutes? Meanwhile, the whole Rebecca/Justin thing is just playing kinda creepy. Yes, we suspected for a while — and now know — that she wasn’t a Walker. (First clue: She doesn’t drink nearly enough.) But Justin doesn’t know that, so he needs to stop leering at his supposed sister! And it was nice to have Scotty refuse to be patronized to by or settle for Kevin’s offer that they become domestic (or, as one of the Walker boys put it, “domesticated”) partners. More and more, I’m realizing that I watch this show more for the dialogue and acting than the storylines. In fact, I tend to watch it DESPITE the storylines. Am I alone in that?

SURVIVOR has been on fire this season, and in recent weeks, it’s been entirely about the hidden immunity idol. First, Ozzy found the real one, replaced it with a fake and used it to great advantage before being blindsided. Then Jason found the next hidden idol, failed to play it and was blindsided in exactly the same manner! It’s been a while since I’ve been this into SURVIVOR, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? What if that tree is ONE TREE HILL and nobody knows it’s back on the air?

That is the question this TV Addict is left to ponder after coming to the realization that I completely missed Monday’s return of ONE TREE HILL.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Should not a self-proclaimed TV Addict make it his business to know when each and every show returns to air? Probably. But rather than dwell on past mistakes, I’ve decided to focus on to the bigger question at hand. Who’s to blame?

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I loved the wedding episode of ONE TREE HILL, but I can’t help wishing the show would slow things down a bit. If I were writing the show (and really, who doesn’t imagine taking over the reigns of their favorites?), I’d have either had Dan be in cahoots with Nutty Nanny or, even better, have this play out over several weeks. Show the kid being led away from the church, but not by whom. My dream story? Thanks to Haley, everyone points accusatory fingers in Dan’s direction. Meanwhile, Dan has to cozy up to the nanny in order to find out where she’s got Jamie stashed. Eventually, he finds out where the kid is and rides to the rescue… but in the process, Jamie is badly injured and winds up in a coma. The nanny skips town, leaving everyone in Tree Hill to assume that Dan kidnapped and injured Jamie. Because he was spotted with the nanny on several occasions, it is also assumed he was romancing her. Only after they’ve all torn into Dan does Jamie wake up and reveal that his grandpa was, in fact, his rescuer! Anyway, I loved the moment when Lindsay — and, by extension, the audience — realized what the “comet” in Lucas’ story represented. As a long-time soap fan, there’s nothing I respect and appreciate more than a show which plays to the established history and, in doing so, flashes back to long-ago scenes fans remember. It’s like a wonderful little reward for loyal viewers.

This season of LOST continues to rock, although I wish the producers would tell those in the promotions department to stop giving away final-moment twists. After seeing endless ads touting the fact that someone would die, it was almost inevitable that we might be disappointed when the fatalities turned out to be Carl and Danielle (although I hated seeing Mira Furlan, whom I’ve loved since her days as BABYLON 5’s Deleen, bite the bullet… here’s hoping her shooting was of the near-death variety). Fortunately, the episode delivered on so many other levels, whether small (Big Tom is gay???), medium (”If Widmore finds the island… he’ll kill them all without thinking twice.”) or large (”You can’t kill yourself. The island won’t let you.”). Heck, I even got to see my beloved Libby.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to whoever finally found the perfect project for Judy “That’s the last time you’ll ever see these!” Greer. Is MISS/GUIDED perfect? Not by a long shot. But to paraphrase Stuart Smalley, “It’s good enough, it’s smart enough and Doggone it, I like it!” Greer is surrounded by an appealing cast (Brooke Burns hasn’t been this likable since… um, ever!) and the whole package is just fun on a stick. I’m voting this high-school set series “Most Likely To Succeed… in stealing your heart if you give it half a chance.”

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Thanks to the recent WGA Strike, writers throughout Hollywood must now working feverishly to complete five or six new episodes by season’s end. With that in mind, this TV Addict thought he’d lend the proverbial hand and offer up some possible plot ideas for a handful of our favorite shows. You know, because there’s no such thing as a bad idea.

LOST
It’s time to face the facts. Claire must die. Not only can you count on one hand the amount of screen-time Emilie de Ravin has accumulated this season [two hands if you’re counting last season]. You know it’s time to go when your non-speaking infant offspring [Baby Aaron] generates more passionate debate, online speculation and fan reaction than you do.

HOUSE
Is it not time to put an end to the age-old question: Which HOUSE ‘team’ is better? In other words, how long until the good doctor pits Cameron, Chase and Foreman against this season’s team of next generation newbies? One baffling medical mystery, two teams, one cutthroat bitch just for the fun of it. Paging May Sweeps!

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In celebration of ONE TREE HILL reaching its one hundred episode milestone tomorrow night [a rarity in today’s fragmented world of television], this TV Addict thought he’d have a little fun by offering up some tantalizing clues with regards to what fans might expect from what will undoubtedly be one very exciting wedding!

Click the link below and see if you can decipher this very cryptic spoiler warning sent to the TV Addict along with his screener of tomorrow’s episode. And don’t miss the TREE HILL’s 100th episode Tuesday night at 9PM on the CW

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I knew little Jamie was gonna wind up face-down in the pool sooner or later on ONE TREE HILL. I actually thought it would happen in the first episode, when pop Nathan was still in the wheel chair. I assumed Nathan would pull himself up from the wheelchair and save his son’s life. But no, they didn’t go the predictable route. Or at least not that predictable. Anybody else assume that when Brooke and her boy toy found a woman passed out in that glam New York City pad, it would be Victoria? Why is the show using Daphne Zuniga so infrequently? And am I wrong, or was Mouth completely missing from this week’s outing? And Lindsay? As much as I’m loving the show, it’s in serious need of balancing.

You’ve gotsta love the makeover episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, if only to see which girls will emerge looking hot and which will wind up on the “ghetto mess” side. Every year, a girl cries, and this year it was Fatima, who wept while getting a weave. Now I’m told by a friend who has had her fair share of weaves that it is a pretty awful process. But for God’s sake, Fatima was the victim of genital mutilation in her home country! Surely the discomfort of a weave can’t begin to compare to having your vagina sewn shut! Meanwhile, Allison was this week’s “oblivious moron”, what with her insistence that she rocked her photo shoot despite the fact that the photographer — who said of her “the lights are on, but nobody’s home” — and Mr. Jay were clearly unhappy with her performance. And just for the record, when Miss Tyra asks if you know how to say “thank you” and then the panel looks at you expectantly, be smart enough to say — all together now — thank you! Oh, a special note to the producers: We viewers are willing to put up with product placement, but there’s a limit. This single hour featured Apple Bottom jeans, specific Cover Girl products (as well as the weekly mention of the company with the makeup giant), Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart.com and Elle McPherson’s line of “knickers.” Frankly, I was amazed that with all those products to be placed, they found time for actual commercials!

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Rather than pout because our invitation was undoubtedly *cough*cough* lost in the mail. This TV Addict is going to take the high road and share some fantastic photos from the ONE TREE HILL 100th Episode Celebration. For more great pics, Read the rest of this entry »

That screech you just heard. The gleeful yelp of millions of girls everywhere [and yes, a few guys too].

In a press release sent minutes ago, the CW just announced early pickups of six series today. Meaning AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, ONE TREE HILL, GOSSIP GIRL, SMALLVILLE, SUPERNATURAL and EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS have all been given early renewals and will officially return to the CW this fall.

You know what else this means? SUPERNATURAL fans, it’s really time to stop sending those Hexs Dawn Ostroff’s way. She’s done well this year.

In related news, if anyone has heard from the cast of the CW’s failed African experiment LIFE IS WILD please let us know. They’ve been on safari for a very, very, very long time.

On Friday, you may have heard that Misha Barton turned down the generous Josh Schwartz offer to play a recurring thorn in Serena’s side on GOSSIP GIRL.

In response, this TV Addict has two things to say. Firstly to Ms. Barton. Having seen your latest stab at silver screen stardom [CLOSING THE RING], you may wish to reconsider Schwartz’s surprising offer. To put it bluntly, your gratuitous nude scene was the only thing that kept the audience awake. Furthermore, at least now we can have fun re-casting your role.

So without further ado, I give you the TV Addict’s Top 5 casting suggestions. Josh Schwartz, you can thank me anytime. Or to be more specific, you can thank me by emailing theTVaddict.com some Ausiello-sized GOSSIP GIRL scoop. No seriously. My email is info@thetvaddict.com.

LIZA WEIL
Last seen as: The scene stealing Paris Gellar on GILMORE GIRLS.
Why she’s GOSSIP worthy: Because if you’re old enough to remember the early years of GILMORE GIRLS. You’ll know all to well that Paris Gellar put the chill into Chilton.

LINDSAY LOHAN
Last seen as: Tabloid mainstay.
Why she’s GOSSIP worthy: Because the original mean girl is virtually uncastable on the big screen and juicy role on GOSSIP GIRL could be a first step back to respectability.

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