Nearly sixteen years ago, an ambitious blonde bombshell turned an apartment complex upside-down — and in doing so, upped the drama, excitement and most importantly of all ratings — for the struggling, often tedious soap that was the first season of the original MELROSE PLACE.

This Tuesday, the CW is hoping praying that lightening will strike twice when Heather Locklear — who Aaron Spelling once famously referred to as his “lucky penny” — returns once again. First look video of which, complete with our own editorial commentary in brackets, can be found after the jump.

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Caleb: Amanda, I thought you weren’t visiting for another two weeks?

Amanda: You know how I love surprises. (Have you seen your show’s ratings?) This LA branch is drowning in red like a steer in a slaughterhouse (Seriously, absolutely nobody is watching this show.) When I hired you to give this place a makeover i didn’t mean for you to smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five dollar hooker (See: Ashlee Simpson Wentz). This office is pathetic! (We’re talking original series season one pathetic when Billy learned about the realities of racism after a very special episode that had neighbor Rhonda giving the then cab driver a tour of the ‘real’ Los Angeles.)

In our latest installment of Advertising Anarchy (Also known as our take on how networks might wish to consider promoting some of our favorite shows), this TV Addict wanted to take the opportunity to remind you all that if you aren’t watching the CW’s MELROSE PLACE re-boot — an increasingly addictive guilty pleasure that’s about to become even more so thanks to Heather Locklear’s upcoming return — Sydney Andrews will have totally died in vain, again! Think about it.

What does a fine wine and Heather Locklear have in common? Easy, they both get better with age. Something we quickly discovered after perusing these just released photos from Locklear’s November 17 return to MELROSE PLACE, where she’ll reprise her role as scheming advertising public relations exec Amanda Woodward. See for yourself after the jump.

Thank to yet another stellar outing, this TV Addict is officially ready to crown 90210 the season’s most improved player. But in lieu of a crown — which alas, this little-blog-that-could most definitely can’t afford — we hope the CW and new showrunner Rebecca Rand Kirshner Sinclair will accept something far more valuable: A mea culpa. After-all, when we’re wrong, we’re wrong. Which is why we’re willing to admit that in-spite of stars Annalynne McCord and Trevor Donovan looking like they’re 17 going on 30, we currently find ourselves growing surprisingly attached to them both. Particularly McCord, whose desperate attempt to weasel her way into California University last night by morphing from Naomi Clark into Naomi Klein had us in stitches. Meanwhile, Shenae Grimes’ Annie Mills is not only far less annoying this season, she has us genuinely concerned for her safety. And by that we mean, is it possible for new friend Jasper to give off anymore of a creepy Beaver Cassidy Casablancas Neptune High circa 2006 vibe? (RIP: VERONICA MARS) Call us crazy, but we’re starting to wonder if Jasper’s Uncle may have been dead before Annie drove away from her personal prom nightmare!

And while we’re on the subject of killing, it’s killing this TV Addict that more of you aren’t jumping on the MELROSE PLACE bandwagon. Do you know how embarrassed Ella must feel knowing that a mere 1.6 million of you showed up to her birthday last night. What’s worse, only 900,000 advertiser friendly good-looking 18-49 years old bothered to attend? Which means the millions of you that weren’t nodding off to NCIS: LOS ANGELES missed: A very revealing flashback that had a thoughtful and caring Sydney Andrews take a young and naive Ella Simms under her wing (Or as Syd put it, from Uggs to Manolos!), an increasingly adorable Riley and Jonah and most exciting of all, med student/lady-of-the-night Lauren Yang get in bed (Not literally of course, that desperate storyline has already been reserved for HEROES) with Hollywood Madame Wendi (Played by who else.. NIP/TUCK’s Kelly Carlson). It was a hoot (and kinda hawt), so why not drop by next Tuesday at 9PM on the CW (10PM on GlobalTV in Canada)

And finally, in this world of Lindsays, Britneys and that freaky youngest brother from HOME IMPROVEMENT, it’s nice to know that not all child stars go bad. Which is why it was such a treat to see Spencer Treat Clark (Gladiator, Unbreakable, Mystic River) doing a fine job playing a murder suspect on last night’s GOOD WIFE. Take note young cast members of MODERN FAMILY and THE MIDDLE. Not all roads have to lead to VH1’s CELEBRITY REHAB.

When it comes to our favorite fictional serial killer, suspension of disbelief is pretty much par for the course. Which is why we’ve gladly put aside our question as to how on earth Dexter Morgan’s employer, the Miami PD has yet to clue into his extra-curricular activities in lieu of a far bigger mystery: Just how on earth does a blood splatter analyst afford to support a wife and three kids in a spacious suburban alcove, plus an oceanfront condo and a boat on his public servant salary?

In the world of STARGATE UNIVERSE, mankind is capable of harnessing the power of a Stargate to travel millions of miles away, transport themselves to-and-from ships at will, and protect themselves with state of the art weaponry. Yet David Blue’s Eli Wallace is still using an iPhone.

Be it father William or brother Tommy, the Walker family hasn’t exactly had the most stellar track record when it comes to family members working in the family business. Yet Uncle Saul and Holly waited all of three-minutes to hand over the financials and entrust the future of Ojai Foods to very-sketchy illegitimate step-son Ryan.

Giving us yet another reason for us to worry about the American educational system comes GLEE’s Will Shuster, who has yet to clue into the fact that his wife is wearing a fake pregnancy belly.

Only in the world of MELROSE PLACE do men who look like they’ve just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue have to hire call girls like Stephanie Jacobsen’s Lauren. We’re just sayin’

Lost amidst the deafening Heather [Locklear] hype is another tenants much-anticipated return to MELROSE PLACE: Daphne Zuniga. Whose photag Jo Reynolds will soon find herself crossing paths with some of your favorite next gen tenants after Riley is plucked from obscurity by famous fashion designer Anton V. (guest star Kevin Alejandro) to be the face of his new denim jean campaign. More photos of which can be found after the jump.

After facing down killer robots from the future in BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: RAZOR and the wrong end of a loaded weapon in TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES, actress Stephanie Jacobsen could use a break. Unfortunately, she won’t be getting one anytime soon and can currently be seen in the CW’s MELROSE PLACE reboot playing med student by-day/call-girl by night Lauren Yang. Is Jacobsen aware just what she’s signed on to and was she a fan of the original series? All these questions, plus one or two lingering TERMINATOR-related ones can be found after the jump.

Before we get into your role on the new MELROSE PLACE, I first have to ask about your work on TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES. Did you come on board knowing Jesse (Jacobsen’s ill-fated character) would have an expiry date?
Stephanie Jacobsen: I don’t think anyone knew if she had an expiry date. And I don’t know how certain we are that Jesse has actually expired! I mean you never saw him [Derek] pull the trigger. It’s actually something Brian [Austin Green] and I debate.

Are you saying that had TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES not been unceremoniously cancelled, we might have gotten the chance to see Jesse again?
Yeah, I think so. i think that there would have been a definite possibility. But it’s just one of those things that you can’t say because the chips didn’t fall.

How does it feel to finally play a role that doesn’t involve battling evil robots?
I feel that it was time for me to learn how to use some new tools. I feel that the change of pace is timely and while I loved doing Sci-fi (which hopefully I’ll find the time to do again someday) it’s definitely nice to do something different.

Were you a fan of the original MELROSE PLACE growing up?
They did show it in Australia, but I was just a kid so I only have a memory of it airing. I actually have the DVDs back home, sitting on my cabinet waiting for me to have a day off from work.

I imagine Lauren’s about to face some pretty interesting consequences for some of her decision thus far?
Lauren is such a paradox, so torn. I mean obviously, everything that happens with her is going to have some big implications. But what exactly? I don’t know, but it’s going to be really interesting to see where her decisions take her and something of an honour to be entrusted with this character.

As an actor who has had the ability to jump seamlessly from series to series, was there any apprehension on your part to join such an iconic show?
I don’t know that our show is going to be that kind of show. I feel like the new MELROSE PLACE is tonally very different from the old one. Our performances are very grounded in the potential reality of the situation that our characters are facing and everyone who is involved is really about making a great show. I feel really privileged to be on it and I would be very surprised if a few seasons of the show wouldn’t benefit us all [career wise].

MELROSE PLACE airs Tuesdays at 9PM on the CW (Wednesdays at 10PM on Global TV in Canada)

Between SWINGTOWN, GREEK and now MELROSE PLACE I think it’s safe to say that you’re having quite the year!
Michael Rady: I’ve just been going from job to job pinching myself, first SWINGTOWN which the optimist in me didn’t think someone would let die, then GREEK which was a dream job and gave me the opportunity to work steadily pretty much for a season, and now MELROSE PLACE. I really have been so fortunate.

Was there any trepidation about stepping into such an iconic apartment building?
I didn’t really think about it. It really does nothing for me at all thinking about that kind of stuff. Our show is an entirely new show, set in the same place.

Were you a fan of the original series?
Only to the extent that my older sister watched it and I’d always be sitting on the couch asking, “What are you watching?” Pretty much all I remember is Heather Locklear and beautiful people sitting around the pool.

Is Jonah the new Michael Mancini, the apartment nice guy who will slowly find himself getting corrupted by all these beautiful women and his Hollywood surroundings?
The producers have sworn up and down he isn’t. They’ve sworn up and down he will turn out good in the end.

But having played such nice characters on both GREEK and SWINGTOWN, is there not a small part of you itching to play the bad boy for once?
Oh, I’m hoping Jonah buckles, because nobody is perfect. Really that’s my one wish for him, to represent the flaws, the bad in all of us. I mean there’s plenty of bad represented on MELROSE PLACE but he sort of grounds it. Jonah is really going to follow this roller coaster that is the ups and downs of the entertainment world out here.

After saving the original MELROSE PLACE from the brink of cancellation almost two decades ago, history is about to repeat itself thanks to this morning’s announcement that has Heather Locklear set to reprise her role as scheming vixen Amanda Woodward on the CW’s fledgling MELROSE PLACE re-boot starting November 17.

And while our inner-teenaged TV Addict — you know, the one that was so obsessed with MELROSE PLACE that we actually had this poster (pictured above) on our wall is really really excited — our slightly older and far more realistic inner-adult TV Addict is worried. Especially when you take into account the CW’s press release that touts Heather Locklear joining “original castmates Laura Leighton, Thomas Calabro, Josie Bisset and Daphne Zuniga in the updated version for The CW.” Note the absence to any next generation tenants such as the deliciously manipulative Katie Cassidy or our favorite hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Stephanie Jacobsen. It’s almost as if the proverbial powers that be learned absolutely nothing from the mistakes of re-boots past (see: 90210) and have yet to realize that for the updated version of MELROSE to truly succeed, it’s going to have to do so standing on its two feet rather than continuously rely on the occasional guest spot from [insert original cast member] here.

Of course, these are the execs who cancelled the delightful PRIVILEGED for the vapid and pointless MODELS INC. clone THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE: TBL. So it’s possible, asking them to ‘learn’ from past mistakes is simply asking too much.