The TV Addict 

Hey, TV Addict, are you listening? I’ve got an early contender for next week’s collection of quotes. Because when Bree Van De Kamp Hodge quipped, “Of all the gay men in the world, we have to get the two without taste”, I was on the floor. This show has gotten better and better this season, and Dana Delany — aka “Our new queen, Katherine of Arrogant” — has never been better than she is here. Yes, this season’s mystery has been slow to unfold, but it works because unlike the Applewhite clan, the Mayfair family has been beautifully woven into the existing canvas. It was a nice touch having Gabby’s literal boytoy, John, be the one to help Carlos see the error of his ways. (It’s always nice to see Jesse Metcalfe, who just keeps getting hotter — if no better an actor — with age.) Best of all, with not one but two nice little surprises at the end — one involving Edie, the other Katherine and the new guys on the block — DH continues to prove it knows how to tell the kind of stories its daytime counterparts couldn’t tell if they tried.

I’m a little behind in my viewing, so bear with me. Let’s start with GREY’S ANATOMY, which finally, finally got its mojo back this week. How better to kick off Halloween week (what? You limit your celebrations to a single night?) than with chainsawed limbs, the spilled cremated remains of a loved one and the potentially frightful new duo of Yang and Torres? I’m still wanting to see George and Izzy suffer the consequences of their adulterous affair, and I’m annoyed that even Bailey has jumped on the “you’re not a bad guy, George” bandwagon (’cause, um, yeah, he kinda is). But it was nice to see Callie smile and laugh and do something other than stand around like some kind of target for Mopey Meredith and company to throw abuse at.

I understand exactly how DIRTY SEXY MONEY’s Tripp Darling feels where spoiled twins Juliet and Jeremy are concerned, because it’s exactly the same as how I feel toward this show. It’s got all the advantages — a good time slot, excellent cast — and yet regularly fails to make the most of them. I mean, come on, when Jeremy was standing on the bridge singing “All By Myself”, who didn’t want Juliet to prove him wrong by turning his self-indulgent soliloquy into a dynamic duet? (And am I alone in thinking that Samaire Armstrong is horribly miscast? And that, in fact, Tamara Feldman should be playing Jeremy’s twin rather than his lover?) I’m very much in like with this show, but could so easily be convinced it’s love if it would just try a little bit harder.

The masquerade episode of GOSSIP GIRL was its best offering yet. Maybe it’s just that I’m a sucker for any plot featuring a masked guy kissing the wrong girl.

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ABC should be ashamed of themselves for building an entire ad campaign for THE BACHELOR around the breakdown of one of the rejected girls. Oh, sure, I watched. I’m only human! Plus, if I don’t watch these things and report back to y’all, who will? I think of it as a public service. After last night’s episode, I’m more convinced than ever that bachelor Brad is, in fact, the dumbest man ever featured on a dating show. He’s beginning to make JOE MILLIONAIRE star Evan look like a Mensa member.

While we’re talking about dating shows, I caught the second episode of A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILLA this morning. Because really, what better way to start your day than with hunks and lesbians competing for the affections of a walking petri dish? This may be my new favorite dating show of all time. This week, Marcus — the would-be badass who laughs like a freaked-out hyena — got the boot after he and southern fried “elementary teacher” (elementary what, I can’t help wondering) got into a literal shoving match at the pool. Grace (the only woman I’ve ever seen don a flannel swimsuit), Steffanie (who was hot in a “oh, crap, I thought she was a dude!” kinda way) and Eddie (whose virginity left Tila downright confused) joined Marcus in exiting. Best moment of the episode? Lala — owner of the reddest weave in broadcast history — walking out of the competition after discovering that she was there to compete with men. What made it so fantastic was not that the girl showed a surprising level of self-respect (I can only imagine someone in casting got fired for letting her slip through), but that it looked as if she was gonna walk all the way home in a white bikini and matching high heels.

As much as I don’t care for the show REAPER, I’ve got to give the CW credit for those commercials in which Ray Wise — the show’s devil incarnate — dances about in a graveyard to the tune “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” before the words “Happy Halloween” pop up on screen. Funny stuff.

Caught the latest episode of LIFE IS WILD last night. I can’t tell you how much I love this silly little show. Maybe part of me feels as if it karmically balances out the joy I take in watching SHOT AT LOVE. I’m loving the subtle build-up to the triangle between Oliver, Katie and Tumelo. And I’m happy to report that the requisite rebel teen — played to perfection by Andrew St. John — is starting to mellow at least a bit. A little of that “obnoxious bad boy who has a heart of gold” crap goes a long way with me. I still can’t quite put my finger on what it is I love about this show, but as long as I get my weekly dose, I’m a happy camper. And really, can’t we all use more shows that leave us feeling good when they’re over?

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The TV Addict has just learned* that everybody’s favorite neighbor — Stephanie Niznik (Nina Feeny on EVERWOOD) has just replaced actress Judith Hoag in the CW’s fall pilot LIFE IS WILD. Not only does this casting change re-categorize LIFE IS WILD as a must watch, it sets up one really awkward situation. Is anyone else picturing what it would be like when Andy Brown’s ex-girlfriend (Dr. Linda Abbott) and current one cross paths in Africa? My money’s on Nina.

Thanks to loyal (and brilliant) reader Common Sense for the Tip!