Did GOSSIP GIRL really expect us be buy those studious students?
We totally buy that college students would opt to watch Vanessa’s documentary over attending Blair’s cocktail party. Not. Sorry, but no matter how annoying the hostess, the first rule of college is “free booze is free booze.”
 

Was there a light shining directly in Wentworth Miller’s eyes for the entire duration of the LAW & ORDER: SVU season premiere?
That’s the only way to explain the fact that he squinted through the entire episode. If PRISON was his BREAKout performance, this one might have shown that he’s a one-hit wonder.
 
How long can actors really be expected to remain in high school?
THE VAMPIRE DIARES alone features both Paul Wesley (who, as Paul Wasilewski, was playing a teen on GUIDING LIGHT back in 1999) and Kayla Ewell (who was a FREAKS & GEEKS high schooler in 2000). That’s a long time for even the slowest of slow students to be held back!

 
Does EASTWICK seem determined to bewitch female viewers with a plethora of hunky eye candy?
That’s a rhetorical question, kids. Between Matt Dallas (KYLE XY), Jon Bernthal (THE CLASS), Johann Urb (DIRT), Christian Alexander (GENERAL HOSPITAL) and Paul Gross (DUE SOUTH), EASTWICK easily wins the title “sexiest show on television.”
 
Has DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES gone to the same well once too often?
The Applewhites. The Mayfairs. Orson Hodge. Dave Williams. And now, the Bolen family with the brooding son, the brutish dad and the literally-scarred mom. Here’s hoping the show doesn’t try to drag the “who attacked Julie”/new family mystery out for the entire season, but if history has taught us anything, it’s that this show hasn’t ever learned from the mistakes of its own past.

If we were any other blogger, this first look video clip featuring Wentworth Miller’s upcoming guest appearance on LAW & ORDER: SVU’s upcoming eleventh season premiere (playing Nate Kendal, an NYPD officer who saves a rape victim) would warrant a highly inappropriate, immature and some might argue unprofessional joke with regards to Miller’s exchange with Captain Donald Cragen. Lucky for NBC, that’s not our style.

File this under “you read it here first”, but don’t be surprised when the latest shocking details surrounding Michael Jackson’s life wind up as a LAW & ORDER episode. Just in case Dick Wolf & Company need help in coming up with an idea, here’s how we see it unfolding: A high-profile fertility specialist is found murdered. Among his clients? A superstar we’ll call Mitch Johnson who has several children via a surrogate was one of the doctor’s clients. Turns out the superstar wasn’t the biological father of the children and never formally adopted them, a fact the maliciously-minded MD used to his advantage in order to blackmail the superstar into handing over lots of cash to cover gambling debts. The superstar is arrested and things look bleak. But in the final moments — you know, where L&O always socks us with their patented twist? — it is revealed that the surrogate was an unbalanced fan of the star and, upon learning that the “gifts” she’d presented to her favorite celeb were being used against him, she killed the doc! Confessing, she clears the superstars name… although it becomes obvious to Jack McCoy and his underlings that the woman — putting the “fan” in fanatical — did the dastardly doc in at the request of her celebrity crush!

I’m sorry, what’s that? Yes, it’s true… we are brilliant! Thanks for noticing.

Geez, EARTH 2100 — the two hour special ABC aired last night — was a major downer, huh? Sure, they offered up a little hope toward the end… but by then, most viewers were probably begging for mercy!
 
THE BIG BANG THEORY is one of the few currently-airing comedies that I find myself watching in reruns, even if the episode being shown aired only a month or two ago. And not only do I watch, but I laugh just as hard as the first time.

GARY UNMARRIED (8:30PM CBS)
Gary and Allison disagree on what extracurriculoar activities Louise should be involved with. Which should come as no surprise considering the show isn’t called GARY MARRIED.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
With apologies to Reuben Studdard’s painfully bland “Celebrate Me Home,” saying goodbye to IDOL hopefuls just a helluva lot easier thanks to former IDOL Carrie Underwood’s take no the Motley Crue ballad “Home Sweet Home.”

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Annie and Sam go undercover when a flight attendant is murdered. What’s more, the pair gets invited to a party by a bunch of swingers! And Gina Gershon guest stars! What more do you people want? Then again, the show’s been cancelled, so fine, I give up. Watch FLAVOR OF LOVE reruns on the TVGuide Network for all I care. But don’t come crying to me about the lack of decent programs out there!

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
All you need to know is right there in the title of tonight’s offering: “Uh Oh, Out Come The Skeletons!”

NEW & NOTABLE:
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (8PM CW)
Wait… it’s already makeover week? Bring on the tears!

THE PARENT TRAP (8PM Encore)
One of my all-time favorite Disney flicks in which… oh, hold up. This is the Lindsay Lohan remake? Er… never mind.

ALL MY CHILDREN (8PM SOAPnet)
Zach accuses Kendall of still being in love with Ryan. So much for “always, only you.” 

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS)
A series of murders have religious overtones. And it wouldn’t be a police procedural if one of the team didn’t have a personal tie to the case. I wonder how often that happens in real life? Anyone? Bueller?

HUMAN PRETY (9PM Animal Planet)
The sadist in me loves this show, on which the animal kingdom lashes out at humans, proving that every dog (and hippo and alligator) truly does have its day.

LAW & ORDER (10PM NBC)
The mistress of a big-wig in the financial world goes belly up. And not in the way that the government can bail out, either.

SOUTH PARK (10PM Comedy Central)
Two words: Jonas Brothers. Let the mockery commence.

MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL (10PM Bravo)
The big difference between this and AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL? It features male models as well as female. Oh, and there’s no Miss J. Really, who wants to live in a world without Miss J? (Mr. Jay, on the other hand, you can take. He’s annoying.)

Anybody else think BROTHERS & SISTERS moved way too fast with Kitty and Robert? Why the heck are they suddenly all about having a baby? Haven’t they been married for, like, three minutes? Meanwhile, the whole Rebecca/Justin thing is just playing kinda creepy. Yes, we suspected for a while — and now know — that she wasn’t a Walker. (First clue: She doesn’t drink nearly enough.) But Justin doesn’t know that, so he needs to stop leering at his supposed sister! And it was nice to have Scotty refuse to be patronized to by or settle for Kevin’s offer that they become domestic (or, as one of the Walker boys put it, “domesticated”) partners. More and more, I’m realizing that I watch this show more for the dialogue and acting than the storylines. In fact, I tend to watch it DESPITE the storylines. Am I alone in that?

SURVIVOR has been on fire this season, and in recent weeks, it’s been entirely about the hidden immunity idol. First, Ozzy found the real one, replaced it with a fake and used it to great advantage before being blindsided. Then Jason found the next hidden idol, failed to play it and was blindsided in exactly the same manner! It’s been a while since I’ve been this into SURVIVOR, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Remember when DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES knew how to end each episode with a cliffhanger? While the idea of Bree and Katherine going into business together is bliss on a stick and the fact that the show isn’t afraid to revel in Gabi’s self-absorbed nature earn it major points, it might be time to accept the fact that having only a single mystery-arc per season is a mistake. Even during this shortened-by-the-strike season, the secrets of the Mayfair clan are unfolding at a snail’s pace. And for the love of God, Lynette needs to get those kids of hers into therapy, pronto!

As a whole, the LAW & ORDER franchise hasn’t had a great year. But this week’s SVU showcased everything this show does best: A perfectly-cast Robin Williams in a typically twisted story that began on a “ripped-from-the-headlines” note and spiraled outward to include everything from a message about the dangers of blindly following authority figures to a pillow fight. But it’s time to stop putting Olivia in jeopardy and having her rescued by her male co-workers. Let’s see the tough-as-nails Det. Benson be the one kicking butt and taking names. And that ending? With the detectives assuming Williams’ alter ego was dead rather than, oh, maybe hiding in the bushes? Lame.

My on-again, off-again affair with GOSSIP GIRL is definitely on the upswing after this week’s fantastic episode. The budding romance between Nate and Vanessa is unexpectedly charming, and Blair is back on top where she belongs. I like the addition of Michelle Trachtenberg as gorgeous Georgina, but man, she looks so much younger than the rest of the cast. In other words, she looks age appropriate. And why has the show abandoned Lily and Rufus? Nothing irks me more than when storylines go missing for weeks at a time. We invested in it, and so should the writers.

I want to give SUPERNATURAL props for trying something different, but I have to admit it wasn’t my favorite episode. (And yes, since being raked over the coals by fans of the show, I’ve seen each and every offering put forth this season.) There were good moments, but overall, it just felt a little too cheesy for my taste. It felt way like a filler episode, and after so many weeks away, I really wanted the show to come roaring back with the Winchester boys front and center, not an episode which wasted far too much on characters I didn’t really care about.

ONE TREE HILL’s Mouth and Millicent are officially my favorite couple (of the moment). This wasn’t a particularly great week around the dial for couples, so I’d have to give my runner-up spot to GREY’S ANATOMY’s Callie and Hahn… because come on, they have more chemistry with one another than with the moronic men surrounding them!

As the LAW & ORDER Franchise Addict I thought it was necessary to acknowledge the exit of Detective Green played by Jesse L. Martin from Law & Order this week. Creator Dick Wolf is often criticized for not allowing his audience into the personal lives of his main characters. So it is always jarring when we find out they are lesbians or in Detective Green’s case a gambling addict.

The whole episode seemed so bizarre. It was so completely different from the regular formula and knowing Detective Green so well on duty it was hard to adapt to Detective Green off-duty. We learned he had a gambling problem that was coming back to haunt him on a recent murder investigation. Green ends up shooting some head of a gambling ring and internal affairs, headed by Teddy J, I mean Anthony Anderson, comes down on him for what appears to be a revenge murder on a bookie Green had a prior altercation with. I did appreciate that the reoccurrence of his gambling problems, stemmed from issues with the death of his partner Lenny Briscoe. I am so happy he was mentioned and remembered but most of the episode was about indicting Green and putting him on trial for murder. It was a pipe dream to believe Green could have gone rogue and the obligatory turn in your gun and badge scene seemed too cliché. But have no fears by the end of the episode we learn that Green was only protecting someone else and was not guilty as charged. The episode had a bit of a Criminal Intent resolution.

However the last moments had a great exchange between Green and Lieutenant Van Buren where he threw in the towel. S. Epatha Merkerson is so brilliant and wonderful in these scenes. The shot followed Green leaving the station with his box of belongings in hand after an exchange with Lupo about him being a good cop. Sisto is going to do just fine with Anderson. The last frame was a final close up on Van Buren with a slight wave good bye prior to the obligatory “Dick Wolf”. I can’t say it wasn’t moving, because it was the classic Law & Order anti-sentimentality, sentimentality.

As sad as it was to see Detective Green exit, the good news is the door is wide open for the character to return. I think Jesse L. Martin will be back one day. The other good news is that we didn’t find out he was a cross dressing lesbian in his final moments, just a guy with a previous gambling addiction. We’ll miss you Detective Green, come back soon!

I don’t know why the TV Addict has such a hate on for one of the longest running shows in Television history, but I do think it is important we take a moment and reflect upon the impending “retirement” of Detective Green. LAW & ORDER is in its 18th season. Many reading this were barely teenagers when it premiered. Jesse L. Martin joined Law & Order in 1999 as Detective Ed Green, becoming the new partner of the legendary Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe. He is one four actors to appear on all four LAW & ORDERS and will have filmed, on just about every street corner in NYC, over 192 episodes. Not bad for a guy who found fame as the original Collins in the Tony award winning musical RENT.

I am a LAW & ORDER Addict and loved the dynamic duo of Briscoe and Green. Orbach and Martin are two Broadway performers who had the most amazing chemistry on screen. It was devastating when Orbach passed away leaving a huge void in the entertainment world and ending one of television’s finest partnerships. Detective Green has had a number of partners since Orbach’s passing and none of them have been as good as the original one. It became very apparent that Jesse L. Martin was ready to exit. The spark in detective Green had extinguished and his character was becoming more and more impatient and discontent.

Anthony Anderson, who will forever be Teddy from HANG TIME as far as I am concerned, will fill the void making permanent a guest role, Lucius Blaine, he played on several SVU episodes. With Martin’s departure and Jack McCoy behind the big desk it feels that LAW & ORDER is making another monumental change. I believe it can survive; Sisto and Cutter have been great additions. It is just a little sad to see a major part of LAW & ORDER fade away into history.

All that is left is how Detective Green will exit. Let’s hope, as Martin has suggested publicly, that the door is left open for some guest turns. We will miss Jessie L. Martin on television, but he is moving on to some exciting projects and fingers crossed a return to the Broadway stage.

I will end my lament with a note to Dick Wolf, all I ask is that moments before we see your name appear on screen please don’t out Detective Green as a politically charged lesbian.