The TV Addict 

By: CT

Did GOSSIP GIRL really expect us be buy those studious students?
We totally buy that college students would opt to watch Vanessa’s documentary over attending Blair’s cocktail party. Not. Sorry, but no matter how annoying the hostess, the first rule of college is “free booze is free booze.”
 

Was there a light shining directly in Wentworth Miller’s eyes for the entire duration of the LAW & ORDER: SVU season premiere?
That’s the only way to explain the fact that he squinted through the entire episode. If PRISON was his BREAKout performance, this one might have shown that he’s a one-hit wonder.
 
How long can actors really be expected to remain in high school?
THE VAMPIRE DIARES alone features both Paul Wesley (who, as Paul Wasilewski, was playing a teen on GUIDING LIGHT back in 1999) and Kayla Ewell (who was a FREAKS & GEEKS high schooler in 2000). That’s a long time for even the slowest of slow students to be held back!

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If we were any other blogger, this first look video clip featuring Wentworth Miller’s upcoming guest appearance on LAW & ORDER: SVU’s upcoming eleventh season premiere (playing Nate Kendal, an NYPD officer who saves a rape victim) would warrant a highly inappropriate, immature and some might argue unprofessional joke with regards to Miller’s exchange with Captain Donald Cragen. Lucky for NBC, that’s not our style.

File this under “you read it here first”, but don’t be surprised when the latest shocking details surrounding Michael Jackson’s life wind up as a LAW & ORDER episode. Just in case Dick Wolf & Company need help in coming up with an idea, here’s how we see it unfolding: A high-profile fertility specialist is found murdered. Among his clients? A superstar we’ll call Mitch Johnson who has several children via a surrogate was one of the doctor’s clients. Turns out the superstar wasn’t the biological father of the children and never formally adopted them, a fact the maliciously-minded MD used to his advantage in order to blackmail the superstar into handing over lots of cash to cover gambling debts. The superstar is arrested and things look bleak. But in the final moments — you know, where L&O always socks us with their patented twist? — it is revealed that the surrogate was an unbalanced fan of the star and, upon learning that the “gifts” she’d presented to her favorite celeb were being used against him, she killed the doc! Confessing, she clears the superstars name… although it becomes obvious to Jack McCoy and his underlings that the woman — putting the “fan” in fanatical — did the dastardly doc in at the request of her celebrity crush!

I’m sorry, what’s that? Yes, it’s true… we are brilliant! Thanks for noticing.

C.T. offers up some random musings from around the dial…
 
Kudos to you, LAW & ORDER: SVU! About two minutes into the season finale, I was all set to write a piece on how Dick Wolf had made a rare misstep with annoying tech Dale Stuckey, who first appeared earlier this season. I even wanted to suggest that this fall’s season finale revolve around the geek’s murder. And then the show went and pulled the rug right out from under me by turning the guy into a psycho killer. And it was a blast (and a little hawt) to watch Olivia manhandle her sexy partner. But man, did the continuity department do a crappy job where the blood stains on Stabler’s shirt were concerned!
 
I’M A CELEBRITY’s Stephen Baldwin and the Pratt brats are giving religion the worst rap it’s had since the days of the inquisition. When even Janice Dickinson is disgusted by your behavior, it’s time for a little soul searching.
 
You’ve gotta love HARDBALL’s Chris Matthews if only because when folks refuse to give him a straight answer, he keeps asking again and again. He gets as frustrated as you and I would with someone’s BS but, unlike most people in his position,he actually calls people on their crap. And unlike Bill O’Reilly, who occasionally does the same thing, he doesn’t do it in a way that belittles or insults the person shoveling the crap.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (8PM CBS)
There’s something to be said about being the responsible person in a friendship. When Christine experiences it for the first time, what she has to say is… “Um, yeah, this isn’t for me.”

GARY UNMARRIED (8:30PM CBS)
Gary and Allison disagree on what extracurriculoar activities Louise should be involved with. Which should come as no surprise considering the show isn’t called GARY MARRIED.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
With apologies to Reuben Studdard’s painfully bland “Celebrate Me Home,” saying goodbye to IDOL hopefuls just a helluva lot easier thanks to former IDOL Carrie Underwood’s take no the Motley Crue ballad “Home Sweet Home.”

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Annie and Sam go undercover when a flight attendant is murdered. What’s more, the pair gets invited to a party by a bunch of swingers! And Gina Gershon guest stars! What more do you people want? Then again, the show’s been cancelled, so fine, I give up. Watch FLAVOR OF LOVE reruns on the TVGuide Network for all I care. But don’t come crying to me about the lack of decent programs out there!

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
All you need to know is right there in the title of tonight’s offering: “Uh Oh, Out Come The Skeletons!”

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Normally, I ask y’all not to judge me. But today… yeah, feel free. Because I’m gonna admit that last night, I watched FARMER WANTS A WIFE. Not that I’ll be making that mistake again. Where the heck do they find these people? From the kinda creepy titular farmer, Matt, to the ladies competing to play hen to his rooster, this show was a mess. And not the kind that comes with the word “hot” before it. Of course, several of the women are virgins, because that’s the new thing on reality. (When even PARADISE HOTEL 2 landed one, virginity officially became a reality trend.) And what are we to make of Josie, the republican who declares that she wants to live on a farm so she can ride horses and attend polo matches, because “a farmer’s wife doesn’t work. She has people who work for her.” If there’s one thing the women — save Brooke, who actually, heaven help her, seems like a nice gal — have in common, it is that they believe “big city” guys are losers. Hello, pot? This is kettle. I will, however, give the show credit for having one of the most unusual elimination ceremonies in the history of reality television: Each girl had to pick up a live chicken to see if it was sitting on an egg, with the egg-free lass being sent back to the city. I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried. Given that the first episode ended with Farmer Matt sending Stephanie packing instead of the idiotic Josie, who is obviously there to create drama and wouldn’t accept if this guy proposed anyway, tells you everything you need to know. Obviously, producers had more to say about the outcome than the farmer, so having the entire thing come down to the laying of an egg is wildly appropriate.

Anybody else think BROTHERS & SISTERS moved way too fast with Kitty and Robert? Why the heck are they suddenly all about having a baby? Haven’t they been married for, like, three minutes? Meanwhile, the whole Rebecca/Justin thing is just playing kinda creepy. Yes, we suspected for a while — and now know — that she wasn’t a Walker. (First clue: She doesn’t drink nearly enough.) But Justin doesn’t know that, so he needs to stop leering at his supposed sister! And it was nice to have Scotty refuse to be patronized to by or settle for Kevin’s offer that they become domestic (or, as one of the Walker boys put it, “domesticated”) partners. More and more, I’m realizing that I watch this show more for the dialogue and acting than the storylines. In fact, I tend to watch it DESPITE the storylines. Am I alone in that?

SURVIVOR has been on fire this season, and in recent weeks, it’s been entirely about the hidden immunity idol. First, Ozzy found the real one, replaced it with a fake and used it to great advantage before being blindsided. Then Jason found the next hidden idol, failed to play it and was blindsided in exactly the same manner! It’s been a while since I’ve been this into SURVIVOR, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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With tonight’s episode of LAW & ORDER marking the start of the post—Detective Green era, theTHEATREaddict wanted to share his thoughts on last week’s Farewell to Detective Green.

As the LAW & ORDER Franchise Addict I thought it was necessary to acknowledge the exit of Detective Green played by Jesse L. Martin from Law & Order this week. Creator Dick Wolf is often criticized for not allowing his audience into the personal lives of his main characters. So it is always jarring when we find out they are lesbians or in Detective Green’s case a gambling addict.

The whole episode seemed so bizarre. It was so completely different from the regular formula and knowing Detective Green so well on duty it was hard to adapt to Detective Green off-duty. We learned he had a gambling problem that was coming back to haunt him on a recent murder investigation. Green ends up shooting some head of a gambling ring and internal affairs, headed by Teddy J, I mean Anthony Anderson, comes down on him for what appears to be a revenge murder on a bookie Green had a prior altercation with. I did appreciate that the reoccurrence of his gambling problems, stemmed from issues with the death of his partner Lenny Briscoe. I am so happy he was mentioned and remembered but most of the episode was about indicting Green and putting him on trial for murder. It was a pipe dream to believe Green could have gone rogue and the obligatory turn in your gun and badge scene seemed too cliché. But have no fears by the end of the episode we learn that Green was only protecting someone else and was not guilty as charged. The episode had a bit of a Criminal Intent resolution.

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By: Aynonomous LAW & ORDER Addict (and President of the organization to bring back TRIAL BY JURY)

I don’t know why the TV Addict has such a hate on for one of the longest running shows in Television history, but I do think it is important we take a moment and reflect upon the impending “retirement” of Detective Green. LAW & ORDER is in its 18th season. Many reading this were barely teenagers when it premiered. Jesse L. Martin joined Law & Order in 1999 as Detective Ed Green, becoming the new partner of the legendary Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe. He is one four actors to appear on all four LAW & ORDERS and will have filmed, on just about every street corner in NYC, over 192 episodes. Not bad for a guy who found fame as the original Collins in the Tony award winning musical RENT.

I am a LAW & ORDER Addict and loved the dynamic duo of Briscoe and Green. Orbach and Martin are two Broadway performers who had the most amazing chemistry on screen. It was devastating when Orbach passed away leaving a huge void in the entertainment world and ending one of television’s finest partnerships. Detective Green has had a number of partners since Orbach’s passing and none of them have been as good as the original one. It became very apparent that Jesse L. Martin was ready to exit. The spark in detective Green had extinguished and his character was becoming more and more impatient and discontent.

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