The TV Addict 

Good News: An original DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES cast member is set to return as a series regular next season. Bad News: Said original cast member is Teri Hatcher’s daughter played by the insufferable Andrea Bowen. We’re just sayin, Rory Gilmore she ain’t. [Source]

Good News: The TV Addict was invited to screen two new episodes of GLEE this afternoon in New York and/or LA. Bad News: The TV Addict does not live in New York and/or LA. [#FML]

Good News: TORCHWOOD’s five-episode season 3 miniseries has become so popular in the UK that it has become a trending topic on Twitter. Bad News: Thus spoiling it for everyone outside of the UK who still have to wait two weeks for the series to surface on BBC America. [Source]

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By: CT

For far too long, major cliffhangers have been relegated to the daytime soaps (and even many of them seem to have lost touch with the art they perfected many moons ago) and primetime’s season finales. But I’m happy to report that the cliffhanger is alive and well… and being used to great effect by some of television’s most intriguing dramas.

Although last night’s season premiere of TRUE BLOOD seemed headed toward a “Sookie dumps Bill… again” ending, the show wisely avoided breaking the pair up in favor of a shocking cliffhanger in which Eric’s animal side came out as Lafayette cowered in fear, leaving us to wonder what the heck is going on in that weird torture chamber (which seems to be located beneath a salon based on the villainous vamp’s interrupted-in-progress dye job!).

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
KING OF THE HILL (7:30PM FOX)
Continuing to mine this TV Addict’s homeland for “Yuks” comes tonight’s KING OF THE HILL season finale which has Boomhauer swapping houses with a Canadian family for the summer causing friction in the neighborhood.

THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX)
After swarms of unemployed workers from Ogdenville descend on Springfield, the mayor closes the borders and citizen Homer goes on border patrol. Which, as any SIMPSONS fans will tell you, means you should expect power to go to Homer’s head by… what, the eleven minute mark?

FAMILY GUY (9PM FOX)
Now far be it from us to suggest yet another alterna-”mother” theory, but is anyone else the least bit suspicious that all three male stars of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (Jason Segel, Neil Patrick Harris and Josh Radnor) are providing cameos on tonight’s FAMILY GUY season finale? Think about it.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
Good News: After a five year flash-forward and 22 episodes of waiting, Dave’s endgame finally comes to a close. Bad News: For Susan and MJ.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Considering THE SIMPSONS is going on twenty years, we’re certainly not about to begrudge them the occasional “Help we’re running out of ideas here!” episode, with tonight’s trip to the manicurist for Marge and Lisa sparking flights of fancy about Queen Elizabeth, Snow White, and Lady MacBeth.

FAMILY GUY (9PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for FAMILY GUY, which in only their eighth season, really has no excuse for tonight’s Stephen King inspired tale. That said, since Seth MacFarlane and Co. are skewering three of our all-time favorite movies — Stand By Me, Misery and The Shawshank Redemption — we’re gonna go ahead and give them a pass on this one.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
The word on Wisteria Lane is “Deception,” with tonight’s installment having Bree lying to Orson, Katherine lying to Mike, Susan and Jackson lying to the authorities and Tom lying about his age.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Swine Flu be damned! Or at least that is what Nora Walker must be thinking when she heads down to Mexico to knock some sense into Tommy in tonight’s BROTHERS & SISTERS third season finale.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Proving those pesky Simpsons have all the luck, Marge gets hooked on a sauna she FINDS in her basement. Whereas the last discovery we found in our basement was a leaky one that ended up costing us a whole lotta D’oh!

FAMILY GUY (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Further evidence that actual talent is not a prerequisite for providing a guest voice on the Seth MacFarlane laugher comes Wentworth Miller and Chace Crawford who lend their voice to tonight’s episode playing high school students (Further cementing our theory is next week’s special guest star Lauren Conrad.)

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
ZZZZZzzzz…. sorry, what’s that? Last week’s tribute to Edie is finally over? Phew.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Growing tired of waiting for Tommy’s return, Julia takes a long hard look at her future. Which we’re just gonna go ahead and say, doesn’t look good. I mean just ask Joe (John Pyper-Ferguson) how he’s doing following his divorce from Sara.

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By: CouchTater

In a plot twist typical of this season’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, Edie Britt’s death was treated much the same as her life: as an afterthought.

From the beginning, the character — played by KNOTS LANDING vixen Nicollette Sheridan — was written as a one-note character who existed mainly to vamp it up when needed. It says a lot that the character’s best friend was another secondary character, Mrs. McCluskey. The two women shared an odd bond that was, of course, never fully played or examined.

Ironically, it wasn’t until this week’s episode, as the women of Wisteria Lane mourned their frienemy, that the show finally seemed to realize just how wonderful and complex a character they had in Edie. “As far back as I can remember, a voice in the back of my head said, ‘Live it up today, because you’re not going to have a lot of tomorrows.’” And in that one, poignant scene, the show exposed the very essence of Edie Britt.

Of course, it was too little, too late.

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Characters coming back from the dead! Season finale shockers! The fate of Michael and Susan! Seriously, this TV Addict did not expect notorious spoiler-phobe Marc Cherry to be so quick to dole out the spoilers. But dole out he did, as you’ll read in this TV Addict’s report from Saturday’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES panel at Paley Fest ‘09

Shocker: Mary Alice has an evil twin sister!
Okay, not really. But actress Brenda Strong who plays dearly departed Wisteria Lane resident Mary Alice in addition to narrating almost every single DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES episode does have an idea as to how she might get a little more on-camera screen time for her character. “I always thought maybe some woman just magically moves onto Wisteria Lane who looks uncannily like Mary Alice!” jokes Strong at yesterday’s Paley Festival. Too bad for Strong, creator Marc Cherry explained that, “I’ve had several actors over the course of the series who have suggested a sibling who looks an awful lot like them but it’s something I have resisted because it’s such a staple of daytime soaps.”

OMG: Marc Cherry’s Killer Regret!
Sadly, it’s not killing Edie Britt (more on that later). It’s offing Christine Estabrook who played Martha Huber way back in the first season of HOUSEWIVES. “I love Christine is a friend of mine, a I had done a series with her in the mid-ninties and I said to her during the pilot that I’m going to be killing you in sweeps, sort of my motto,” explained Cherry when asked who he regrets killing off the most. “But by the time it had come to do that plot-line I was really regretting it because she had popped so much.”

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
KINGS (8PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Remember, our 5 reasons KINGS could help rebuild NBC’s empire only applies if you tune in to tonight’s 2-hour premiere.

THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, GlobalTV in Canada)
After twenty seasons have THE SIMPSONS finally run out of ideas? Tune into tonight’s episode spoofing The Da Vinci Code, National Treasure and Ratatouille and decide for yourself.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
Desperate housewives take a back seat to desperate writers with tonight’s shameless sweeps stunt episode involving a teacher (Swoosie Kurtz) getting the wrong idea when Susan tried to impress her.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC, GlobalTV in Canada)
Forgetting that they have access to copious amounts of alcohol, Kevin and Justin decide to take Tommy on a much needed vacation to clear his head about his monumental legal problems. Again, isn’t that what alcohol is for? We’re just sayin’

BIG LOVE (9PM HBO, 10PM HBO Canada)
As if we’re not going to tune into the Endowment Ceremony that has the Mormon’s up in arms!.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, GlobalTV in Canada)
Could Homer’s entire life have been different if he had been elected the president of his high school senior class? (I hear John McCain was recently pondering that very same question about his own life!)

FAMILY GUY (9PM FOX, GlobalTV in Canada)
Desperately in love with Joe and Bonnie’s new baby, Stewie struggles to write a love song. ‘Cause you know, crap like “I Just Called To Say I Love You” doesn’t just write itself!

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
Things I don’t care about that are involved in tonight’s episode: Susan and Mike’s relationship (which lost me when they had one second of happiness and then fell apart off screen thanks to the time-warp); the Scavo’s pizza joint (Please, God, get Lynette back into the world of advertising!); Gaby blackmailing Carlos’ boss (Has her character grown one iota over the years? No. They occasionally show us two seconds worth of growth, then next week, she’s back to her usual obnoxious self). Things I might care about: Tensions rise between Bree, Andrew and Orson (I like that family, even when they’re in boring plots). And here’s something a character and I have in common: Dave is kinda fed up with everyone int he neighborhood being suspicious of him. Me too, Dave. Do something nasty, get killed and let’s be done with this!

AMERICAN DAD (9:30PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Holy cow, Roger has two families! And has for years! You know, I don’t actually care for this show. But then again, I spent years not liking FAMILY GUY, ONE TREE HILL and SUPERNATURAL, all of which are favorites now, so maybe it’s time to give it a second look.

BIG LOVE (9PM HBO, 10PM TMN in Canada)
Things get even more crowded for Bill and his wives thanks to an unexpected arrival, and Roman makes plans for a big comeback.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Rebecca sets out to find her dad, and it may be just as well she’s out of town, because Tommy is stepping up his plan to oust Holly. Something tells me there will be alcohol consumed at some point.

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In this continuing series, we take a closer look at what’s ailing shows that seem to have lost their mojo, and offer suggestions that might help them get it back!

THE SHOW: ABC’s Sunday-night hit, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

THE PROBLEMS: Every time this show hits a speed bump — which it seems to do fairly regularly — The Powers That Be make it clear they understand what’s wrong… and then fail to fix it. As in the past, this show has lost its way. The one continuing story — Dave’s quest for revenge — has unfolded at a snail’s pace and proven to be a total snore (despite the fact that Edie’s psycho hubby is played by the always-captivating Neal McDonough). Every year, we are promised a story that will involve the women working together — the formula which proved so successful back in season one — and yet each year, the show fails to deliver. In the case of Dave’s Revenge, Bree and Gabi have next-to-nothing to do with the saga (heck, Mrs. McClosky has been a bigger player), while what should be Edie’s best story yet has been anything but. Worse, the secondary stories are as simple as a child’s connect-the-dots book. So-called storylines like Bree lending Lynette money (and the inevitable fallout) are cookie-cutter plots that have been done a thousand times before. Sure, we’re seeing them played out by a top-notch cast, but is that really enough?

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