In some corners, this news has been met with the skepticism one might expect given that both actors have been “fired” from the show before in highly touted publicity moves. No DAYS fan needs — or particularly wants — to be reminded of the 2003 storyline in which Marlena was “killed off” after being revealed as the serial killer doing away with her friends and neighbors. Or last year’s tale in which John was “killed off” only to rise from his premature grave a few months later.

The problem is that for fans, this is a lose/lose scenario. If the show — already struggling in the ratings thanks to an endless series of lackluster plots — has really gotten rid of Hogestyn and Hall, it may prove to be a crippling blow. And if this is yet another publicity stunt, fed-up fans may not stick around to see how it unfolds. Given the sad state of daytime affairs, this may not be the best time for so drastic a move.

Okay, on to less important topics. Like ONE TREE HILL. Holy crap, this show gets better by the week. And remember, this is coming from someone who tried and tried to even tolerate it before the four-year fast-forward. The scenes between Skills and Jamie alone were worth the price of admission. Throw in the Peyton/Bitchtoria battle, the wonderfully awkward dinner, Peyton literally throwing the book at Lucas and that adorable girl who serves as Brooke’s assistant and this was soapy fun at its finest. My own quibbles (and come on, it wouldn’t be me if there weren’t at least a few) are that I’d like to see Mouth’s story intertwine more with those of everyone else (which will no doubt happen when he and Brooke’s assistant hook up), and the fact that Victoria’s response (”Whatever.”) to Brooke’s heartfelt “I love you” felt completely fake. I mean, there’s being a bitch and then there’s… well, that. Otherwise, however, this show is on a role. If it’s not careful, it might just go from “guilty pleasure” to just plain pleasure. Bonus kudos to the promo department for luring us in with that kiss between Nathan and the nanny… only to have the buss turn out to be one in a brilliantly-executed series of dream sequences.

Some of you may remember that I was excited about the return of PARADISE HOTEL. Okay, excited might be something of a mild understatement. And after some slow going, Monday night’s PH2 eventually morphed into the kind of hot mess that made the first season such gloriously trashy viewing. So far, none of the models… er, contestants have morphed into characters as memorable as 2003’s psycho Zach, explosive Toni or Charla, the eventual winner who will always be remembered for the truly hard to watch scene in which she admitted that the touch of roomie Dave made her “skin crawl.” But Raheim is an egomaniacal time bomb who is only a few ticks away from exploding, pretty-boy James seems like the type who will do some serious damage and Tidisha has some serious self-esteem issues waiting to turn her into a sloppy mess. And did I mention the virgin cheerleader? It is tough, however, to sink into this debauchery knowing that one of the guests, Nathan Clutter, passed away this past October. Fox Reality is doing its best to sell us the sleeze, and yet their web page notes that Nathan “touched everyone he encountered with his thoughtfulness and decency.” True as those words may be, it’s tough to sell decadence and decency on the same web page. And make no mistake, they’re selling sex. The “backstage secrets” webisode features a perky hostess saying, “The first episode started off with a bang. Well, there wasn’t any banging, but…”

Has any character in the history of daytime television ever had a more complicated history than that of DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ John Black? In the past, he was mistakenly believed to be a surgically-altered Stefano or Marlena’s presumed-dead hubby, Roman. Later, he turned out to be Forest Alamain, although for simplicity’s sake he opted to stick with the moniker “John Black.” He was a trained assassin, a priest (at least long enough to exorcise a demon from his beloved Marlena), a former spy, a corporate titan, a mercenary, an art smuggler and an investigator with the local police department. This week, it was revealed that he is the half-brother of long-time rival, Stefano, and the son of not-so-dead-after-all Colleen Brady. Of course, this complete disregards the fact that several years ago, genetic and DNA testing proved him to be the son of Daphne DiMera, but it’s not as if it’s the first time John’s history hasn’t made any sense. Expect things to get a whole lot messier over at DAYS if it’s true, as reported, that last week, in a first for daytime, the entire staff of the soap was fired. Supposedly, Dena Higley — aka the woman who turned ONE LIFE TO LIVE into an unwatchable mess (before it became better-than-ever under the current writer) — will take over the reigns. Rumors that DAYS’ days are numbered have been circling for ages. This time, I might actually believe it.

While we’re talking about dating shows, I caught the second episode of A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILLA this morning. Because really, what better way to start your day than with hunks and lesbians competing for the affections of a walking petri dish? This may be my new favorite dating show of all time. This week, Marcus — the would-be badass who laughs like a freaked-out hyena — got the boot after he and southern fried “elementary teacher” (elementary what, I can’t help wondering) got into a literal shoving match at the pool. Grace (the only woman I’ve ever seen don a flannel swimsuit), Steffanie (who was hot in a “oh, crap, I thought she was a dude!” kinda way) and Eddie (whose virginity left Tila downright confused) joined Marcus in exiting. Best moment of the episode? Lala — owner of the reddest weave in broadcast history — walking out of the competition after discovering that she was there to compete with men. What made it so fantastic was not that the girl showed a surprising level of self-respect (I can only imagine someone in casting got fired for letting her slip through), but that it looked as if she was gonna walk all the way home in a white bikini and matching high heels.

As much as I don’t care for the show REAPER, I’ve got to give the CW credit for those commercials in which Ray Wise — the show’s devil incarnate — dances about in a graveyard to the tune “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” before the words “Happy Halloween” pop up on screen. Funny stuff.

Caught the latest episode of LIFE IS WILD last night. I can’t tell you how much I love this silly little show. Maybe part of me feels as if it karmically balances out the joy I take in watching SHOT AT LOVE. I’m loving the subtle build-up to the triangle between Oliver, Katie and Tumelo. And I’m happy to report that the requisite rebel teen — played to perfection by Andrew St. John — is starting to mellow at least a bit. A little of that “obnoxious bad boy who has a heart of gold” crap goes a long way with me. I still can’t quite put my finger on what it is I love about this show, but as long as I get my weekly dose, I’m a happy camper. And really, can’t we all use more shows that leave us feeling good when they’re over?

Although THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ big “Out Of The Ashes” storyline — featuring the collapse of several buildings — got off to a shaky start on Friday with some bad special effects, by Monday, the show had won me over. I’m not a big fan of soaps doing “stunts” like this one, and it’s definitely not the kind of thing one would expect of Y&R. But the first full day in which this storyline unfolded — focusing mostly on the trapped trio of Sharon, Jack and Nicholas — featured strong writing, good performances and surprisingly effective sets. And anyone who knows me knows that I’m a sucker for shows that create a special opening credit sequence for big storylines, which Y&R did here. I’m still not sure how I feel about Y&R diving into the “big stunt” field, but it’s certainly coming off a whole lot better than, say, GENERAL HOSPITAL’s train wreck or ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s tornado did last year.

Speaking of soaps, DAYS OF OUR LIVES may have been wildly uneven of late, but the episodes focusing on the funeral for John Black — one of the most beloved characters in the show’s history — were dead on. (Forgive the pun.) From Stefano showing up at the funeral to the wonderful flashbacks, this was what good soaps do when a major actor leaves. But I’m telling you now: John had damn well better be dead. Fans have seen this show pull the “fooled you!” card once too often, and there are only so many times folks will be good sports about that kind of thing. Meanwhile, make sure to tune in to SOAPNET this Sunday for their Halloween marathon, “The Devil Made Me Do it: Marlena’s Possession.” That’s right, they’re replaying the episodes in which Marlena summoned a swarm of bees, morphed into a panther, levitates and eventually has her literal inner demons exorcised by true love (and, conveniently enough, former priest) John. Talk about your Halloween treats!

If you’re going to be in L.A. for the Daytime Emmys next week, you’ve got to be at the world-famous Derby on Thursday night: ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s Kathy Brier (the Hairspray star who plays schoolteacher Marcie) is teaming up with castmates Kassie DePaiva (scheme queen Blair) and Renee Elise Goldsberry (poor, comatose Evangeline) for a kickass three-in-one concert!

“We’ve never done a fan event like this before where we have all teamed up for a joint show,” Brier tells thetvaddict.com. “I am so psyched about sharing the stage with these two other stellar women!”

Amen to that! Not only will Brier be performing songs from her rockin’ debut album, Heartbreaker, but DePaiva will be warbling tunes from her new release, I Want to Love You, and Goldsberry, tracks from her CD, Beautiful. And there’s no telling what surprises they’ll throw in!

“It’s great to get to do this event in L.A., too,” New York-based Brier adds. “There aren’t a lot of fan events held in L.A., so we are looking forward to kicking off the Emmy weekend with a really fun time and hope to see the fans.

“Also,” she teases, “you never know who else might show from the show.”

Tickets ($50 each for the show and post-concert photo/autograph session, $76 each for the show, photo/autograph session and a copy of each actress’ CD) are available at: www.clubderby.com.

But as we said, we’re trying to look at this as a positive change. So with that in mind, we’d like to offer OLTL’s new scribe a little advice. Perhaps he, unlike Frons or Higley, will at least attempt to listen to what fans actually want to see on screen. So here we go:

1) It seems simple enough, but put the characters we love back on the front burner in storylines we care about. The show fought to keep Hillary Smith on contract, only to see her alter ego, Nora, vanish. If there’s one thing long-time fans want, it’s a return to the wonderfully fun and romantic days of Bo and Nora. Both characters are on the canvas… whatcha waiting for?

2) Cut the dead weight. Yes, Paige, we’re talking to you. And Tate.

3) Stop the violence! We still don’t know who killed Spencer, and now there’s some racist group running around setting fires and blowing things up? Enough already.

4) Bring back the romance. Are we the only ones who remember when the slogan for ABC’s soaps was Love In The Afternoon?

5) Stop wasting your talented cast. For God’s sake, why isn’t Ilene Kristen’s Roxy being used? Every single time she’s on screen, we’re amused and happy. Move heaven and earth to get Tuc Watkins (David) back full-time. Give Erika Slezak — who had a very public feud in which she claimed Higley refused to write for Viki — a real storyline!

6) Let Blair and Todd move on. Yes, yes, they were once this show’s supercouple. But that was before she accused him of rape and he fell for Evangeline and Blair slept with Cristian and they broke up a thousand times. Maybe if the show kept them apart, let them find new loves, we might eventually be ready to see them work their way back together. But as of now, they’ve inflicted far too much damage upon one another — and us. We could all use a break.

7) Get Renee Elise Goldsberry back. Evangeline and Todd were a true supercouple in the making. Settle whatever disputes may have arose in contract negotiations and get Evangeline back on the canvas… NOW!

For now, Carlivati has his work cut out for him. But based on the shows currently airing, he can hardly do worse. So while keeping our fingers crossed that Frons is the next person to go, we’ll anxiously await the new scribe’s changes, which probably won’t take effect until early fall.

And then, a real-life madman killed 32 students at Virginia Tech University.

As a result, 17 episodes of the soap had to be rewritten and taped. In a press release, executive producer Frank Valenti was quoted as saying, “Out of respect to those affected by this devastating tragedy, especially the families, I felt that it was important to remove this storyline from our show.”

We here at thetvaddict hope that some good comes out of this situation: Namely, that the people in charge of ABC daytime — most particularly Brian Frons — finally take a good, hard look at what they’re putting on the screens each and every afternoon and realize that their soaps have replaced romance with violence. This nixed storyline was an obvious attempt to capitalize on the success GENERAL HOSPITAL had during February sweeps when terrorists took over the Metro Court hotel.

Across the ABC daytime line-up, people tote guns as casually as women do purses. Soaps on the other networks also fall back on violence more often than we’d like, but none so blatantly as those airing on ABC. It is almost impossible to summon up a memory of a recent romantic event which was not marred by extreme violence: As Jax and Carly tied the knot last week, his psychotic brother lurked in the wings and Lulu was caught in the crossfire of a hail of bullets. And last November, when Luke and Laura celebrated their much ballyhooed 25th anniversary by exchanging vows again in a heartbreaking ceremony, the final moments of the hyped-to-the-hills episode featured gunfire and a car exploding.

We can’t help but think that Agnes Nixon, who created the diverse world of OLTL, must cringe when she sees the dark, brooding mess that the once proud soap has become. And we imagine that the former daytime powerhouse can’t even bring herself to watch her other beloved creation, ALL MY CHILDREN, which last week featured a gun-toting Krystal and the assassination of a character who’d spent the past few months trimming the cast.

Anybody remember when ABC’s slogan was “Love In The Afternoon?”

Not Brian Frons or any of the writers whom he oversees. And the fact that they are working together to bring about the demise of soaps in an orgy of violence is the true crime.