AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
Our prediction: It’s not a good night to have the letter “M” in your name with Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre being our odds on favorites to end up in the bottom three.

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
In an effort to help save twelve-year-old Ben’s life, Kate beings to reveal the truth to Jack about the lie she told in order to protect Aaron. No wonder they call it lost.

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, GlobalTV in Canada)
In the series finale, a mysterious caller offers Sam a chance to return to 2008, but a confusing set of circumstances makes him wonder whether he even wants to do it. Not the least of which being… it’s now 2009!

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
Just how big is tonight’s second season finale of DAMAGES? 97 minutes big long, so set your PVR/DVR’s accordingly.

NEW & NOTABLE:
I GET THAT A LOT (8PM CBS)
As much as CBS might think it’s hilarious to trick average folk into thinking celebrities have assumed ordinary jobs. Just how far off really is Jessica Simpson from working behind a counter? We’re just sayin’

SOUTH PARK (8PM CBS)
An April Fool’s joke goes bad on tonight’s episode of SOUTH PARK. Kinda like the TV Addict’s gag from earlier today.

DRAG RACE HIGH (10PM Speed)
Rival High Schools build their own dragsters to race in front of friends and family. Proving once again, that boy did our parents send us to the wrong high school.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (8PM ABC)
Maybe now that television’s funniest two mean mommies have finally gone into labor, someone at CBS can get their act together and develop a Marly and Lindsay spin-off.

BETTER OF TED (8:30PM ABC)
BETTER OF TED has the advantage of debuting as just the right time: when viewer’s wouldn’t mind reveling in corporate comeuppance. It’s big business satire anchored by more-moral-than-his-employers straight arrow Ted (Jay Harrington, channeling Jon Hamm, except with boyish charm), head of research and development for Veridian Dynamics, a company responsible for weaponizing pumpkins and freezing its employees on a whim. Stocked with a top-notch cast (particularly Arrested Development’s Portia De Rossi as Ted’s icy, tight-laced boss), it bares the same potential of so many failed ABC comedies: it’s funny enough, but inconsistent — it needs time it probably won’t get to find its footing. — Aleks Chan

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Kate returns to the island just in time to ruin Sawyer and Juliet’s happily ever after… awwwwwkward.

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
Call us a stickler for details, but we’re fairly certain that the official episode description should say, “Ellen discovers a another dark secret about Patty’s personal life.”

NEW & NOTABLE:
CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
One of New England’s deadliest serial killers may be murdering again after a 10-year hiatus. Lucky for us, we don’t live in New England.

CSI: NY (9PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Talk about bad timing. Ashlee Simpson takes a detour on her way to the CW’s MELROSE PLACE re-boot only to get mixed up in a seedy motel killing.

MAN V. FOOD (10PM Food Network)
The host attempts to set a record at Raleigh’s Roast Grill by devouring 17 hot dogs in one hour. Been there, done that. Okay not really. But 17 hot dogs in an hour is now totally going on our “bucket list.”

GARY UNMARRIED (8:30PM CBS)
Gary and Allison disagree on what extracurriculoar activities Louise should be involved with. Which should come as no surprise considering the show isn’t called GARY MARRIED.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
With apologies to Reuben Studdard’s painfully bland “Celebrate Me Home,” saying goodbye to IDOL hopefuls just a helluva lot easier thanks to former IDOL Carrie Underwood’s take no the Motley Crue ballad “Home Sweet Home.”

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Annie and Sam go undercover when a flight attendant is murdered. What’s more, the pair gets invited to a party by a bunch of swingers! And Gina Gershon guest stars! What more do you people want? Then again, the show’s been cancelled, so fine, I give up. Watch FLAVOR OF LOVE reruns on the TVGuide Network for all I care. But don’t come crying to me about the lack of decent programs out there!

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
All you need to know is right there in the title of tonight’s offering: “Uh Oh, Out Come The Skeletons!”

NEW & NOTABLE:
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (8PM CW)
Wait… it’s already makeover week? Bring on the tears!

THE PARENT TRAP (8PM Encore)
One of my all-time favorite Disney flicks in which… oh, hold up. This is the Lindsay Lohan remake? Er… never mind.

ALL MY CHILDREN (8PM SOAPnet)
Zach accuses Kendall of still being in love with Ryan. So much for “always, only you.” 

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS)
A series of murders have religious overtones. And it wouldn’t be a police procedural if one of the team didn’t have a personal tie to the case. I wonder how often that happens in real life? Anyone? Bueller?

HUMAN PRETY (9PM Animal Planet)
The sadist in me loves this show, on which the animal kingdom lashes out at humans, proving that every dog (and hippo and alligator) truly does have its day.

LAW & ORDER (10PM NBC)
The mistress of a big-wig in the financial world goes belly up. And not in the way that the government can bail out, either.

SOUTH PARK (10PM Comedy Central)
Two words: Jonas Brothers. Let the mockery commence.

MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL (10PM Bravo)
The big difference between this and AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL? It features male models as well as female. Oh, and there’s no Miss J. Really, who wants to live in a world without Miss J? (Mr. Jay, on the other hand, you can take. He’s annoying.)

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
As if newspapers aren’t having a rough enough time as it is, this evening’s LIFE ON MARS puts another nail in print media’s coffin by quite literally killing off a newspaper columnist. Ouch!

AMERICAN IDOL (8PM FOX, ABC in Canada)
The only thing we can promise you with regards to tonight’s second set of 12 semifinalists is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie most definitely will not be watching.

NEW & NOTABLE:
DAMAGES (10PM FX)
“They had to Tweeze that out of my kidney” gets our award for tonight’s ickiest episode title.

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS)
In these dire economic times, should we really be punishing a prostitute whose only crime is luring and murdering ethically bankrupt business executives? Discuss.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (8PM CBS)
Left to her own devices, Christine attempts to prove she can take care of herself. Something tells us this won’t be pretty.

GARY UNMARRIED (8:30PM CBS)
We love shows with creative episode titles. This is not one of those shows. In fact, the title of tonight’s episode — “Gary And Dennis’ Sister” — either tells you everything you need to know about the plot or tells me you’re perhaps not smart enough for a better program.

LOST (9PM ABC)
To say that this show has become wildly confusing would be an understatement on the level of “Sometimes, one can spot blue in the sky during the daytime.” But that’s not a complaint by any stretch of the imagination. Given how dumbed-down 90 percent of television is these days, we’ll take a complicated story that keeps us guessing and using our brains any day. This week, Locke gets it into his head that he can stop the island from hop-scotching through time.

LIFE ON MARS (10:02PM ABC, Global in Canada)
What does it mean that both of tonight’s shows with LIFE in their title feature plots revolving around rock stars? Perhaps only that endless episodes of LOST have left me looking for conspiracies and hidden meanings. In any case, Wallace Shawn guests as an FBI agent known as The Sorcerer, and Sam thinks he may have found a way to get back to his own time. Seeing as this is not the last episode, we kinda doubt it.

DAMAGES (10PM FX)
To be honest, this season got off to a bit of a slow start. But things are cookin’ with gas now that we’re tying in plot threads from season one and Patty has someone — Walter Kendrick — to sink her teeth into. Tonight, Patty wages a war against Kendrick in the modern-day equivalent of Thunderdome: The media!

NEW & NOTABLE:
KNIGHT RIDER (8PM NBC)
What horrible sin did Justin Bruening commit to go from the mess that is ALL MY CHILDREN to the mess that is this show? These are the things that I ponder late at night. Meanwhile, ONE TREE HILL alum Maria Menounos (she was Keith’s almost-bride, Julie) guest stars as a DEA agent who arrests our hero following a fake plane crash and a real kidnapping.

CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS)
Parting is such sad, sweet sorrow. Unless, of course, you embalm your victims so you can hang out with them a little longer. In that case, well, don’t be surprised if you find out the hard way that the old axiom about houseguests being like fish in that they both start to stink after a couple days is true.

LIFE (9PM NBC)
The lead singer of a heavy metal band suffocates. Why does my first thought go to “hairball?”

TOP CHEF (10PM Bravo)
You know it’s getting close to the end of the season when you get two celebrity (in foodie circles, anyway) judges. This is the last episode before the finale begins unspooling, so place your bets. And if you’re betting against Stefan, I have a poker game I’d like to invite you to.

GENERAL HOSPITAL (10PM SOAPnet)
You know, the mobsters on this show — meaning just about every male and half the females — could really solve a lot of their problems if they simply, you know, killed their enemies. Anthony should have had a bullet in his brain ages ago, but instead, he gets yet another chance to slip away from Sonny and Jason tonight. Meanwhile, can anyone tell us what these mobsters actually, you know, do to make their money? We know Sonny doesn’t get involved with drugs or prostitution. So, um, what exactly is his racquet?

LIE TO ME (9PM FOX, Global in Canada)
The murder of a federal judge’s teen daughter leads the Lightman Group to her highly competitive prep school. Nelly Yuki Get a Grip!

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Notorious “show killer” Eric Balfour drops by LIFE ON MARS just in time to live up to his namesake. D’oh!

NEW & NOTABLE:
DAMAGES (10PM FX)
Patty beings to suspect that Ellen may have an eating disorder. Oh wait, that’s just what we suspect! Actually, Patty begins to suspect Ellen’s true motives for returning to the firm.

GEORGE CARLIN: THE MARK TWAIN PRIZE (9PM PBS)
George Carlin quite literally gets the last laugh when he’s posthumously awarded the 11th Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Among those paying tribute to the comedic genius tonight include Bill Maher, Denis Leary, Garry Shandling, Joan Rivers, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Lily Tomlin, Margaret Cho and Richard Belzer.

DAMAGES, FX’s performance showcase in the gloss of a legal thriller, opens season 2 on a very similar note: Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne), the camera tight in her face, mutters interrogative nothings at an off-screen hostage. She says something to the effect of: “I just want the truth,” or rather something similar to that. I was distracted by the gun she brandishes from beneath the screen – jarred by the “Look! I have a gun!” face Byrne makes.

But that’s what DAMAGES is: one giant farce, contingent on us buying that the halls of Hewes and Associates (where Ellen works for the eponymous Patty Hewes, played with icy fierceness by Glenn Close) and the streets of New York City are simply dripping with tension so that we won’t notice how silly it all is. It’s complicated and twisty simply for the sake of it, ultimately empty in it’s strides.

Case in point: the plot is once again told in long-form flashbacks (though the constant cuts to the “present” have welcomely been sedated since last season), to six months earlier, when Ellen had just begun working as an informant for the FBI, who, like her, are trying to take Patty down for her scheming, cutthroat ways. (Ellen believes Patty was the mastermind in a plot to kill her.) “I want to destroy her!” Ellen exclaims, unconvinced.

Meanwhile, Patty, fresh off from gutting billionaire Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson, back again in the show’s only worthy role) for screwing his employees, is off solving a mystery involving an ominous ruby ring and William Hurt’s scientist character, who has a history with Patty neither of them are willing to share. Though their relationship is played as if they were accomplices in some grand heist, their connection isn’t all that surprising given how obvious it is (though I won’t spoil it, because I’m not allowed). There’s big company suits having whispery meetings in penthouse-looking office buildings – apparently the chemical research he conducted for a Big Energy Company has been botched, and said company will doing anything to keep him quiet about his findings.

But everything in this massive machine pivots around a central gear: Patty Hewes, or by proxy, Glenn Close’s performance. Close admirably compensates for the meekness in both her character and story line with nuance: she can wink a smile to the camera on LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, and turn right back around and shred someone into pieces in a single glance. That’s great and all, but DAMAGES tries to orchestrate an entire story around a character that the producers are unwilling to develop – they try to make up for that with a ostensibly taut John Grisham-style thriller that’s purposely made complicated to the point where it’s just dull.

Patty’s meant to be the most interesting thing about the show, when really she’s just the least-boring. Ellen, out for vengeance for her fiancé’s murder and traumatized by her attack, is attending group therapy sessions where she meets Wes (Timothy Olyphant), her brooding, has-a-deep-dark-secret new love interest. Olyphant, so commanding in DEADWOOD as Seth Bullock, is rendered a harmless puppy here, especially during his exchanges with Byrne, who’s trying so hard to make Ellen seemed hardened that she makes her even more flat. And that’s why DAMAGES flubs at being a thriller: there isn’t a single character worth attaching to. Were supposed to be piqued with twist and after overblown twist, but without any plausible emotional implications. So really, what’s the point?

If remarkable performances by the manipulative and brilliant Patty Hewes (Emmy shoe-in Glenn Close) and her deceptively demure legal protégée Ellen Parsons (Australian newcomer Rose Byrne) weren’t reason enough to get you tune in to DAMAGES second season premiere this Wednesday at 10PM on FX. How’s this for a reason; you’re footing the bill!

We present to you Exhibit ‘A’. Upon closer inspection of the DAMAGES ad ripped scanned from the pages of Entertainment Weekly’s recent year-end double issue, we at theTVaddict.com couldn’t help but notice that this week’s second season premiere is presented to you by none other than Cadillac, a member of the GM family of auto makers. A family of auto makers that just so happened to be on the receiving end of a recent government bailout valued in the BILLIONS!

So keep that in mind as you revel in the fierceness that is Patty Hewes and Associates. The commercial free premiere you’re enjoying is actually brought to you by your hard-earned tax dollars. Cadillac, not so much.

DAMAGES, the FX legal thriller that was so addictive this TV Addict gladly forked over $1.99 to download every episode the moment they appeared on iTunes is back this January. And to celebrate, here’s a fantastic, albeit completely unrevealing first look at season two.

Thanks to Mo Ryan for the Tip! Via BuzzSugar.

While the focus of this site is predominantly on American television, every so often this proud-to-be-Canadian TV Addict likes to take a moment to highlight some of the must see TV that makes its way North of the 49th parallel.

When it comes to tonight’s series premiere of DAMAGES, one thing is for certain. You may inititally tune into the show for Glenn Close’s Golden Globe winning performance as morally ambiguous legal beagle Patty Hewes. But you’ll stick around thanks to a stellar supporting cast (or more specifically to watch Ted Danson prove there’s life after CHEERS) and enough twists and turns that you’ll soon be scratching your head and wondering whether you’re watching LOST in a courtroom. (DAMAGES airs on Mondays at 10PM on Showcase)\

In the wake of the writer’s strike, Global TV shrewdly made the move to prop up their shrinking schedule with the mother of all family dramas. HBO’s BIG LOVE revolves around husband Bill Henrickson and his not one, or even two, but three wives. Needless to say, it’s dysfunctional family drama at its best. (BIG LOVE airs on Thursdays at 10PM on Global TV)

Rather than take CTV to task for once again delaying the fifth season of NIP/TUCK until practically the entire season has been unintentionally spoiled online for us by our American friends. I’ll simply remind Canadians TV Addicts that McNamara/Troy’s move to Hollywood has led to one of the most twisted and funny seasons yet. (NIP/TUCK airs on Fridays at 10PM on CTV)