So ONE TREE HILL will be back in a few weeks, and I find myself asking the age-old question: Am I so hard-up for new programs that I’ll give this monstrosity another try? I think we all know the answer. (Is there anybody out there actually excited about its return?) Could fast-forwarding the plot four years so that the 30something actors are now playing 20somethings instead of high school kids really work?
My housemates and I have decided that Bravo should do a new competition in which past contestants from PROJECT RUNWAY, TOP CHEF, TOP DESIGN and SHEER GENIUS compete against one another in a variety of competitions covered on their individual shows. The reality star who proves to be the best designer/chef/decorator/hairstylist will win, and we’ll call the show TOP, a title sure to appeal to the huge gay audience drawn in by Bravo’s competitions. (If you didn’t get that joke, you are so not among our dream show’s target audience.)
Forgive me, but I’m going on record as loving the crapfest known as CROWNED. It might help that I went into it with the lowest of low expectations, only to find myself laughing at — definitely not with — several of the mother/daughter duos competing for the prize. How can you not get a kick out of a show on which two women name their team Silent But Deadly without realizing that they’ve become a walking flatulence joke? And then there’s Patty and Laura, who define the word “insincere” with their every word, gesture and deed. Finally, there’s Angela, the kind of camera-ready drama queen whom you know spent the weeks before taping got under way figuring out the best way to make herself the center of attention. Her chosen course? Stirring up trouble at every turn. She’s a truly vile woman who represents the worst of what people often become on reality television. I’m not sure I really get the point of having the Cabana Boy around, but you know, I’ve never one to begrudge viewers pointless eye candy. (Although why you’d call him a Cabana Boy and not put him in a swim suit, I’m not sure. Then again, I don’t get why the guy isn’t 75 percent hotter.) It’s nice to see that Nick Verros (of PROJECT RUNWAY’s season 2) getting a little work, if only to show the would-be models that there is life after reality tv… if by “life” you mean landing a one-shot on another reality show. At this point, I’m hoping to see Hollis and Gina walk away with the crown since they’re the only ones who seem like truly decent people.
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ABC’s new limited-run game show, DUEL, is kinda fun, and I like the idea of watching for five nights, rooting for my favorites and then getting a pay-off in the end. But in a way, I don’t want it to be a hit because it’s not something I would watch regularly, and heaven knows the networks are completely incapable of letting something that has even a moderate following remain a nice little mini-event. Remember DEAL OR NO DEAL? I’d love to think that ABC learned something by driving WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? into the ground, but I think we all know that’s not the case. Oh, and I’d love to see the research supporting the network’s claim that this is “the most highly anticipated quiz show in the world.” I have a word for them: hyperbole. Look it up.
Holy crap, did you catch that fantastic promo for LOST that aired during DUEL last night? If not, head to youtube, ’cause I’m sure it’s there.
A moment during the end of last week’s episode of CANE has me so mad I could spit. In the next-to-last act of the episode, a character was trapped in a truck by a fire that raged out of control all around him. Great cliffhanger, right? Yup… except that CBS then cut to an in-house ad touting the truck featured in the scene, showing it plow through the burning field to make a great escape and touting the fact that viewers could go to their website to see how the stunt was done. The only problem? The escape scene hadn’t yet aired! I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that somewhere along the lines, it was pointed out to execs that they were giving away what would happen in the post-commercial scenes. And I’m just as certain that those execs said, “Yeah, but [insert name of truck manufacturer which I refuse to publicize here] will want the ad placed right after a scene in which it is heavily featured. By the time the next commercial break rolls around, people will have forgotten all about the truck.”
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I caught the special Christmas episode of SUPERNATURAL the other night and… brace yourselves… I really liked it. What can I say? I’m a sucker for little old people who happen to be demon-worshipping pagans. Is it just me, or does this show — which, as many C.T. haters out there know, I’ve only see a few times — love to play with the homoeroticism between the brothers? When Sam and Dean tried to buy a wreath, the guy selling them obviously thought they were a couple and they played it up, very tongue in cheek. What? Is it just me? I know this isn’t the first time I’ve seen that kind of exchange played. Meanwhile, for those who recommended episodes for me to check out after my confession to, um, not liking (to say the least) this show, you might be interested to know that I’ve been doing just that and will be offering up a new piece in the next couple weeks which will… um… well, let’s just see how my viewings go, shall we?
Is it time for season three of DEXTER yet? I seriously love that show. Yes, I’d be a tad happier if they didn’t write every season-concluding episode as if it were a series finale. Would it kill them to give a guy a cliffhanger?
Am I the only one who fast-forwards through SURVIVOR’s “remember your fallen tribe mates” crap each and every season? I suppose if you’re going to do a three-hour episode, it’s good to have a block of time in which everyone can go make snacks, phone loved ones, check their e-mail. And if there’s one thing I never, ever want to hear another contestant on this show say it’s, “I’m not ready to go home yet.” I’d rather listen to them whine and complain about wanting to go home than have the final four using the worst line in the book instead of just being honest and saying, “You know something? I worked every bit as hard as you did, and I want that cold, cool million bucks. So hell no, I don’t want you voting my butt out.”
Before the new season of BIG BROTHER begins in February, Julie Chen should be forced to watch Jeff Probst whether he’s hosting tribal council or a reunion show. This guy is both entertaining and asks the hard questions. He calls people on their moronic moves, and finds out what we all want to know. “Courtney, are you anorexic, bulemic or delusional?” or “James, you had two hidden immunity idols and didn’t use either. Are you a moron?” Okay, so I’m paraphrasing.
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Anticipating a rather lengthy spate of reruns thanks to the writers strike, I’m checking out a few shows that are either new to me or which I’ve only seen an episode or two of. The latest one? Geek-turned-spy comedy CHUCK, which I saw the pilot of and liked, but not enough to become a regular viewer. So Monday night, I tuned back in and found that little has changed since the pilot… and I mean that in the best way possible. There’s nothing that can kill a struggling-to-survive show quicker than if newbies wander in and the show has a mind-boggling mythology or complicated backstory making it nearly impenetrable to the uninitiated or casual viewer. While I may not know exactly how Bryce came back from the dead or the circumstances which led to a much-discussed kiss between our hero and fellow operative Sarah, it didn’t much matter. The hour was fast-paced, enjoyable and easy to digest. The laughs weren’t of the belly variety and the plot didn’t require all that much attention be paid, but that’s part of the show’s charm, as is an incredibly appealing cast. The gimmick here — Chuck’s brain dowloaded a whole lot of top-secret intel which comes to him in flashes — is probably the weakest link, but it’s really little more than a way of bringing together people who wouldn’t otherwise have a reason to talk let alone bond and bumping the plot from point a to z without us having to think too hard. All in all, I’d have to say this show is a gee-whiz-that-was-fun winner. If you suddenly find yourself with some empty hours to fill thanks to the strike, you could do a whole lot worse than this charmer.
Finally, a well-written, interesting, debate-filled episode of LAW & ORDER: SVU! I know, I know, after last week’s mess of an offering I vowed to stop watching, but… well, I lied. Sue me. This week, the plot involved polygamy, involuntary female circumcision (ouch), a movement encouraging the snuffing-out of snitches and more… including a fantastic final-act twist. In a throwback to classic L&O, the personal details were scant and yet intriguing; the look on Benson’s face as she realized that Stabler had dated an attractive bit player helping them gather info was subtle and perfect. This is the show I fell in love with. Let’s have more episodes like this and fewer of the sucktacular crap like last week.
Speaking of craptacular, anybody else notice the size of those promos for The Bourne Ultimatum which popped up every 15 minutes or so during SVU? It’s bad enough that the networks allow more and more time to be taken up by ads, or that the insist on pimping whatever show is coming up next, tomorrow or somewhere down the line. But these were ads for a DVD being released on December 11. You want to hawk DVD’s? Do it on your own time. These types of promos are taking over the screen and serve to immediatley take us out of the show we’re trying to watch. Producers need to stand up and demand that the networks put an immediate stop to this kind of nonsense.
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You know why SAMANTHA WHO? is my household’s favorite new show? Because it isn’t trying to reinvent the long-rumored-to-be-dead comedy genre, it’s just — and this is pretty crucial — funny. Very, very funny. Every performance is spot on. Yes, yes, Melissa McCarthy is basically playing GILMORE GIRLS gal pal Sookie, but I loved that character (before she became a breeding machine) so big whoop. Best of all, SAMANTHA doesn’t settle for the typical sitcom set-up, punch line dialogue, instead offering such witty exchanges as when our heroine apologized for dragging Andrea (the deliciously wicked Jennifer Esposito) into her web of deceit, only to have the bad girl reply, “I’m a lawyer. Web of deceit is where I pick up my mail.” This week’s outing — in which Samantha’s car accident triggered a chain of lies leading to an unexpected twist involving mom Jean Smart — was another sparkling entry, although it would have been nice to see Sam’s in-progress story with Eddie Cibrian continue. Then again, no need to rush things… right?
I tried watching another episode of REAPER last night, and within the first five seconds, Tyler Labine — or rather his character, Sock — was once again ruining the show for me. The guy is a seriously talented actor, but I just can’t stand the walking slacker stereotype he’s playing.Not that his alter ego isn’t completely in keeping with the tone of this show, on which Ray Wise’s devil refers to his minion as a “wienie.” You don’t need to see the scene in which the lead’s two best friends easily convince his girlfriend to bare all in a hot tub to realize who the target audience is here. We’re in what was once Porky’s territory here, where authority figures are to be mocked, feminism is a dirty word and men will be boys.
There’s something kind of kharmicly pleasing when one of the annoying twosomes is eliminated from THE AMAZING RACE. This time around, it was bickering Shana and Jennifer. While they weren’t as bad as some previous contestants, their whiny, bitchy ways had me hoping that the next leg of the race would involve a bus which someone could then throw them under. And yet, such is the power of this show’s closing moments that when the two annoying blondes spoke of having learned so much during their journey and then were shown walking hand-in-hand into the sunset toward a gorgeous windmill, I couldn’t help thinking, “Aww… they’re not that bad!” Especially when compared to Nate and Jen. At various points in the evening, he called her a bitch and said “I just can’t believe what kind of person you’ve turned into. It’s the ugliest thing I’ve seen in my life.” Her response? “Same with you, Nate.” At this point, I’m totally rooting for Kynt and Vyxsin, the goth duo who seem not only genuinely nice and loving, but actually take the time to smell the roses. Far too few of the teams seem to do that.
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If last night’s episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES felt almost like a season-ending cliffhanger, what with the unanswered questions of who lived and who died, then you’ll understand why ABC is making that the last new episode to air until the resolution of the writers strike. Although they have another episode in the can, what better way to make sure people are excited to tune back in following what may well be an endless spat of reruns than leaving the fate of several characters up in the air? Meanwhile, I have to admit I was secretly tickled pink when Mrs. McCluskey called Lynette out on being a friend-in-need. I’ve thought for the longest time that Lynette is a God-awful mom… the kind we’d all dread to have as a neighbor. Oh, and how funny was it that the tornado took out the fountain which caused so much debate in the hood? But those scenes in which Victor picked up a gun and chased Carlos as cars fell from the sky was reminiscent of the worst scenes in Titanic, when Billy Zane ignored the fact the unsinkable boat was doing just that in favor of chasing his rival around.
One of the things I absolutely love about DEXTER is the fact that week after week, the show puts our serial-killing lead in the tightest spots since THE PERILS OF PAULINE, leaving us to wonder how on God’s green earth he’ll get out of each one. Better, the show then offers up regular emotional shocks, such as last night’s final-scene revelation in which Dex’s world was turned upside down when he learned the truth about adopted dad Harry’s death. Whoa. I’ll admit to having been worried when psychobabe Lila was kept on the canvas once Dexter dumped her, but watching her mess with Angel leaves me hoping that she gets everything she deserves. I’ll even conceded that Doakes, whom I’ve hated from the very beginning because of his one-note nature, scored a few points with me last night. Or rather, the writers scored points by finally making me understand at least a little bit better their determination to keep him wildly unlikeable: Seeing his steely facade crack as Dexter’s deviously dark plan for him unfolds has been positively spine-chilling.
Did anybody else catch the commercials Charmin has been running memorializing the late, much loved Dick Wilson, better known to millions as the toilet paper-squeezing Mr. Whipple. It’s not often that an advertisement can fill you with sentimentality, but this one certainly has that impact on me. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but Wikipedia claims that Wilson appeared in over 500 commercials for Charmin, allowing him the luxury of working only 12 days a year and still earining approximately $300,000 a year. Based on the feeling of good-will I felt toward Charmin upon seeing the farewell ad, I’d say they got their money’s worth.
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That’s it. I quit. I’m fed up with LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIM UNIT. What finally pushed me over the edge? The fact that last night’s episode might just as well have been GREY’S ANATOMY. First, Stabler questioned the paternity of his soon-to-be-born child (because, of course, the case he was working involved an illegitimate kid) and then the entire last act involved his wife giving birth. Of course, she only did so after being in a car accident… with Olivia. Did I mention that Olivia then saved her life and practically delivered the child? I officially have an opening in my Tuesday night schedule.
I’m a week behind on PROJECT RUNWAY, so forgive me for only just now fawning over Sarah Jessica Parker’s appearance. Is it just me, or would she be an excellent choice to host the show should Heidi Klum decide to focus on being a mom? I have to say, however, that I disagreed with the judge’s final decision as to who to send packing. I laughed when Heidi actually said of Marion’s Pochahontusy dress, “You have left us very sad.” I can’t imagine what watching the nightly news would do to those poor judges! But come on… Marion’s sadness-inducing garb was at least inventive and kinda cool. Christian’s dress, on the other hand, had only one thing going for it: that electric blue fabric. The jacket was just ugly and didn’t go with the dress at all, which would seem to be the point of an assignment in which you were asked to make a two-piece look. In any case, I will say right now, on the record, that I would kill or die to have SJP be my new best friend. Who’s gonna step up to the plate and make that happen?
Why was last week’s episode of UGLY BETTY so… blah? There were a few amusing moments, and Daniel’s ultimate solution to the cover problem was lovely and emotional, but overall, the episode felt flat at best and at worst — whenever Eliza Dushku was on screen, for example — almost annoying. For some reason, the entire hour felt as if it lacked heart, which is the very essence of the show. Is that really the best way to head into a post-sweeps rerun period?
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On The Couch with C.T.
Ever since the writers guild went on strike, I’ve been getting comments taking me to task for writing about reality TV in my Channel Surfing pieces, suggesting that I should be eschewing the genre in support of the folks who are marching on the picket lines. But that ain’t about to happen, and I’m gonna tell you why.
To borrow a phrase from one of my favorite shows, the facts are these: I was watching — and writing about — reality television long before the strike began, and I will continue to do so long after the strike is over. Why? Simply put, reality is a fact of modern TV life and has been for longer than most people realize. Way before MTV offered us a peek into THE REAL WORLD — referred to by man as the grandpa of reality shows — back in 1992, PBS delved into the lives of a dysfunctional family who let it all hang out before the cameras for their groundbreaking series AN AMERICAN FAMILY. I can’t help wondering if the producers of that famous series would have pulled the plug had they known it would lay the groundwork which eventually would result in slightly less high-minded programming as THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW or FEAR FACTOR.
Whether the strike ends tomorrow or two years from now, reality will continue to have its place on the cultural landscape that is television programming. Might there be more of it in the months to come thanks to the strike? That seems almost certain. But I’m not sure that this is necessarily a bad thing for the striking writers. After all, they have decried the genre for years, swearing that it eventually will be the death of scripted fare. And while that hasn’t proven to be the case, perhaps an endless glut of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP FILL-IN-THE-BLANK or TOP SOMETHING-OR-OTHERS will finally do what the writers have long hoped and quench the country’s thirst to see unemployed (or unemployable) wanna-be actors pretend to be people just like you and me in order to compete for their promised 15 minutes of fame.
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As a huge fan of both the original LAW & ORDER and it’s SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT spin-off, I’m sorry to say that I’ve pretty much given up on both, which have become repetitive and, worst of all, character-centric. Remember when this show bravely refused to delve into the personal lives of the characters? Now, every case is somehow connected to one of the major players. Sorry, but now I’d rather watch WOMEN’S MURDER CLUB. Should I be ashamed to say that? Maybe, but this show is like Friday night comfort food. At the end of a rough week, I just want to curl up on the couch with the crime-fighting gals and listen to ‘em dish. Heck, half the time I don’t even care about the cases, which tend to be kinda silly. It’s the chemistry between the leading ladies that brings me back week after week.
PROJECT RUNWAY is back, and I have only one thing to say: Hallelujah! Nobody does reality TV better than Bravo. My fondest hope? That they’ll soon announce the return of TOP DESIGN.
Does anybody give a crap about any of the 14 contestants who’ll be competing on the celebrity version of THE APPRENTICE? For God’s sake, one of the people is a producer. A producer! If it weren’t for Omarosa, you know nobody would bother tuning in.
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Having just sat through a double-dose of BROTHERS & SISTERS, I’m left wondering if anyone else thinks the show should is totally dancing around the obvious attraction between Justin and Rebecca. Yup, they share a dad, but they’re also the hottest couple this show has.But why do they have such a tough time writing for Balthazar Getty’s Tommy? Despite his wife being artificially inseminated by his brother, one of the resulting children dying, her packing up and leaving and his drifting into an affair with new-plot-device-in-town Lena, Tommy is still the most underdeveloped of the Walker clan. And I’d also like to see more done with Patricia Wettig’s Holly and her uneasy frienemy status with Nora. Speaking of whom, I’m sure that moment when Nora locked the door to prevent Justin from leaving was supposed to be powerful, but all I could think was how much better KNOTS LANDING, of all shows, did with a similar story. I’ll never, ever forget glamourpuss Abby Fairgate Cunningham Ewing demanded pothead daughter Olivia hand over her keys. “What are you going to do? Lock me our?” To which Abby replied, “No, I’m locking you in. With me.” And in that single moment, a character who’d often been wildly over the top was brought crashing down to earth with the rest of us mortals. Yeah, that was a detox I’ll never forget, as opposed to Justin’s instacure. Which I suppose points out one of my major problems with this show: It’s determination to rush every story to the point where things fly at us faster than we can possibly connect on an emotional level.
SAMANTHA WHO? continues to be a fav in my home. This week’s episode was probably the weakest of the season, and yet it was still better than any other sitcom on television. This year’s Emmy voters are going to have a tough task ahead of them. Why? Because surely even that group, notoriously blind to actual talent as they historically are (just ask fans of BUFFY, GILMORE, BATTLESTAR…) will have a tough time ignoring some of the great performances being offered up this season. Topping my list at the moment? Jean Smart.
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