Sometimes, I just don’t know what people want. The critics were fairly brutal where SWINGTOWN is concerned, and yet I found it — and no one is more surprised than I to have this be the first word which comes to mind — charming. Every moment seemed to offer a new flashback to an era I kinda sorta vaguely remember (having been a pre-teen in 1976). People smoking on planes, the funky fashions, references to The Omen and oh, that glorious, wonderful parade of cheesy songs! I’m sure those who tuned in expecting a smutfest left wildly disappointed, as the series is driven more by character than plot and, despite having sexual mores as it’s central theme, tends to take a less-is-more approach. But if you go into it looking for a good time, well, you’re gonna leave as satisfied as the party guests who ventured down into Tom and Trina Decker’s basement. Sure, it’d would have been nice if the doe-eyed couple who move from Eden to Gomorrah had taken a tad longer to be corrupted. By the end of the first episode, Susan had popped a Qualude and ditched long-time gal pal Janet (the delightful Miriam Shor) for life on the swingin’ side of town. But heck, who could resist the charms of deliciously sleezy Tom as personified by Grant Show? Given the way Janet’s hubby was eyeing Susan (and that “Geez, do we really have to leave?” look he gave his wife after she accidentally wandered into an orgy room and demanded of her happy-to-be-there spouse, “Do you know what kind of party this is?”), I’m dying to see where things go. Sorry, but in a summer filled with reality and reruns, you’d have to be a total square not to dive into this groovefest. The writing’s on the (bathroom) wall: For a good time, call the residents of SWINGTOWN.
While I abhor the endless AMERICAN IDOL auditions which seem to stretch for months, I’m wishing that SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE would show us more of the episodes in which they search for finalists. In part, this is due to the fact that while IDOL focuses on the negative, DANCE nearly always finds a way to spin things in a positive manner. But more important is the fact that we seem to miss out on key steps in the audition process. Personally, I want to see the dancers trained by contestant-turned-choreographer Travis, which we get only snipets of. And certainly when we got to the highly hyped “Vegas week”, which consisted of a single episode, I was dying to see more of the grueling process through which these talented young people go. So while it’s true that with IDOL, less would definitely be more, the complete opposite is true where DANCE is concerned.
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Who knew that NBC could actually pull off a horror anthology? Okay, sure, it might be a little too soon to judge FEAR ITSELF, but the first episode was surprisingly good. Sure, I would have liked a more original story, but vampires are an easy sell. (Um, except where CBS’ MOONLIGHT was concerned. What the heck went wrong there?) I thought this offering was a heck of a lot better than 80 percent of what Showtime’s MASTERS OF HORROR offered up in its lackluster second season. I’ll admit that the scenes for next week’s episode — featuring Eric Roberts as a detective literally haunted by the sins of his past — didn’t do much for me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t give it a shot. There’s way too little good horror being offered on television these days, so I’m going to give this show a chance. I mean, it’s months and months until the Winchester boys of SUPERNATURAL come back, and we’ve gotta pass the time somehow… right?
As a fan of reality television, I’ve seen a lot of selfish, obnoxious behavior. But never have I witnessed anything that compares to the horrendous antics on display each week during THE REAL WORLD: HOLLYWOOD. This week, alcoholic Joey returned from a 30-day stint in therapy and before his arrival, the housemates met with an expert on addictions. The group agreed to do what they could to help Joey deal with his problem, promising to avoid putting him in situations which might cause him to fall off the wagon. Despite talk of various activities they would do to help keep him occupied — bowling, etc — the very first night, the housemates went out, got drunk and woke him up at 4:30 in the morning. And don’t get me started on Greg, the pretentious, obnoxious, lying little nutjob who manages to came off as self-absorbed even in the context of this immature crowd of posers and got exactly what he deserved when he was kicked off the show. Best of all? The guy who alienated everyone in the house was somehow caught off-guard by the fact that none of his housemates stepped up to defend him.
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Thank you, LOST, for showing every other show on television how to do a cliffhanger. Because frankly, until last night, I was worried that America would have nothing to talk about all summer. Heaven knows pretty much every other show I watch had less-than-buzzworthy endings.
Am I really supposed to get excited about the fact that five years down the road, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ Susan is making out with the guy from QUEER AS FOLK? (Way to waste a gimmick that was already done better by LOST.) Or that GOSSIP GIRL’s Chuck went back to his wicked ways after having spent about four minutes devoted to Blair? And don’t get me started on the non-cliffhanger that was Meredith and Derek’s reunion on GREY’S ANATOMY.
Even SUPERNATURAL – aka the show y’all changed my mind about – didn’t have the kick-ass finale I was hoping for. Yes, it was good, but… well, it ain’t like we don’t know that Sam is gonna rescue Dean from hell!
And one of the only other cliffhangers worth talking about – “Who was on the other end of the phone that ONE TREE HILL’s Lucas dialed? – was a let down thanks to the fact we’d already seen the big moment play out (endlessly) in promos!
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When LOST rocks, it rocks. And last night… yup, the ship was definitely swayin’. Best moment of the episode? Sun earning her “pimp” card by telling her dastardly dad that she’d bought his company out from under him. In other news, the show did something I love and that too few programs have the ability to do these days: take a single basic storyline and divide it into several segments involving numerous characters and then build each individual plot to a cliffhanger. Will the boat explode? Will Ben sacrifice himself in order to help Locke become a hero? When the heck did Kate become such a great tracker? (Um, okay, let’s forget that last question… although it’s a valid one.)
Listen up, ’cause I’m only going to say this once: Thanks, you rapid worshippers of the Winchester boys, for using your powers for good by rallying to humble me into giving SUPERNATURAL a second look. If you hadn’t, I’d have missed a heck of a season, not to mention last night’s literally kick-ass finale. From the fantastic use of music (particularly Kansas’ “Carry On My Wayward Son”) to the fast-and-furious one-liners (my personal favorite? Dean referring to Ruby as “our slutty little Yoda”), this was a roller coaster of a ride made all the more emotional by the fact that you people got me to care about the Winchesters almost as much as they care for one another. Yes, the “Lillith in the suburbs” scenario was a little too reminiscent of one of my all-time favorite TWILIGHT ZONE episodes, but homages are one of the things this show does best. In fact, that final scene — with evil forces having gotten their “hooks” into Dean — reminded me of something right out of one of fav fright flicks, HELLRAISER. Yup, you fans totally reeled me into this show… heck, I’ve even kinda sorta maybe gotten used to that put-on voice Jensen uses.
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For all its flaws, BROTHERS & SISTERS knows how to play the emotional beats of a story. When Kevin walked into the living room to see that his mom had not only ignored his “no flowers” edict but transformed the room into a virtual greenhouse, it was both predictable and charming. “Tonight, Kevin, you don’t get to be guarded or cynical,” she told him, barely holding back her tears. And it was interesting to get the perspective of older, newly-out Saul, who called his nephew’s commitment ceremony “one of the bravest things” he’d ever seen. It’s an interesting commentary on how far network television has come in a relatively short period of time that Kevin’s big day was not given the sort of “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” treatment that it might have received only a decade or two again. (Think DYNASTY’s sexually confused Steven or MELROSE PLACE’s perpetual also-ran, Matt). Frankly, it’s kinda surprising to me that this show got “the gay story” so right and yet completely blew the Justin/Rebecca situation. I can’t help thinking that the ickiness of their relationship might not have been so jarring had they show done what I’ve been begging them to do for ages and slowed down. Not every story has to unfold in two episodes. that episode-ending kiss may have been a little easier to accept had viewers had the summer hiatus to adjust to the idea. Instead, it was too much, too soon. Meanwhile, did anyone else half expect Robert and Kitty to announce they’d be adopting Rebecca? And I’ll make an early prediction right now: Next season, the Walker clan will discover that their mysterious new sibling is… Ryan Atwood, a troubled kid from the O.C.! Oh, and a note to the ABC promo department: A new family member and a kiss everyone saw coming a mile away do not constitute “the jaw-dropping cliffhanger of the year.”
I have to admit that I skipped out on the first two hours of last night’s SURVIVOR fest. As exciting as this season has been, I found that I didn’t really care which of the four gals walked away a winner. I did, however, tune in for the reunion special, which is always a blast. Did someone forget to tell Jeff Probst when it was going to be? Is that why he showed up looking as if he hadn’t washed his hair for a week? That said, he’s such a pro and always knows exactly what questions to ask. He talks about the things we the viewers want to dish about, unlike a certain Chenbot whose BIG BROTHER interviews are just notoriously awful.
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You know how just the other day I was bitching about the fact that too many shows have come back from their extended strike-induced absences with lame episodes featuring virtually no plot movement? Well, although SUPERNATURAL’s first post-strike episode (with the GHOSTFACERS reality crew) wasn’t my favorite, last nights offering more than made up for it. The Winchester boys were in find sted as they dealt with a zombified doc, the search for Bella, the ticking time bomb that is Dean’s date with death and perhaps the most highly-anticipated demons ever, Lillith. Anyone else get goosebumps every time her name is mentioned? (Maybe it’s because I only recently finished reading the Morrigan’s Cross trilogy by Nora Roberts, which featured a cool-ass vampire by that name.) The episode was gruesome (stolen body parts!), revealing (Lillith killed Bella’s folks) and funny (”Demons? Untrustworthy? Imagine that!”). I know, I know, there was a time when I loathed this show with a fiery passion. Well, you people can pat yourselves on the back for having made a believer out of me. I hope you’re happy!
The second the needle hit the record during the opening seconds of LOST, I knew this was gonna be a good one. From the John-related flashbacks to what may have been my favorite line of exposition this season (”Hopefully, the man who lives in the cabin can tell us what to do about the people who are going to kill us.”), this week’s tale definitely made up for last week’s less-than-thrilling hour. Of course, as always, more questions were raised than answered, (Especially once John entered that damn cabin, which left me with, to quote an AP article which came out last week after Paula Abdul’s infamous IDOL double speak, “the furrowed brow of mystification.”) And how precious was the scene in which Hurley and Ben shared a candy bar?
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Afford me a moment of clarity: A woman who slept with a married man while also sleeping with another lover and then assumed — and, more importantly, allowed everyone else to assume — that her child belonged to the wealthier of the two somehow reacts to her daughter finally learning the facts of (her) life by kicking her out? What in the world has BROTHERS & SISTERS done to Holly Harper? Granted, she was never the most moral of women, but now, she’s been turned into a lying slut with a persecution complex! Worse, Holly then swooped in and basically took over the Walker family biz before anyone could find out about the fraud she’d perpetrated upon them via her daughter. Frankly, Rebecca should run as far from this dynasty of dysfunctional drunks (and take Scotty with her). I mean, Justin reacts to finding out that she’s not his sister by going off on the poor girl? This show frustrates me like no other… I love the actors, love the fun aspects, but when it comes to storylines it is as unsatisfactory as sex with a blow-up doll. Um, from what I hear.
I have so many mixed feeligns where this weeks GOSSIP GIRL installment is concerned. Plot wise? Great episode with a lot of fun stuff going on. Man, are they making great use of Georgina. But here’s where I get slightly disturbed: I get that in the end, GG sent a very nice message by having Serena and, eventually, Lily accept Eric’s homosexuality, having Asher toss around words like “queer” and “faggot” was a little unsettling for a show aimed at a teen audience. It might have felt different had we seen the self-loathing Asher brought down, but the social humiliation fell on the shoulders of his “hag”, Jenny. Meanwhile, what the hell has happened to Chuck? Remember when he was our nefarious nasty? These days, he’s Eric’s off-screen confidante and a background player. And why no Nate and Vanessa? Would it have killed the show to have them show up at — and utter a few lines during — Asher’s party?
Another week, another subpar DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. If the networks want to know why their shows aren’t doing so well, they might want to consider the fact that despite the fact that shows have fewer episodes (thanks to the strike) and we were told a heck of a lot of story would be crammed into them, what we’re actually getting feel like filler. Quick, name a major plot-point from this weeks DH. Were there some snappy lines? Sure. (Thank God for Gaby.) But most of the episode revolved around Kayla’s bad girl act (a retread of the routine she pulled upon first arriving), Susan’s trying to impress her ex-husband (yawn) and Bree refusing to forgive Orson. But again, and you’ll notice this is a recurring theme with me: Do we need yet another recurring regular (Gaby’s housemate) when so many interesting ones exist but are never used? Where is Bree’s son, Andrew? How about Susan’s nephew, Tim? Or maybe Rick, whose restaurant Lynette’s boys burned down? Why is Tuc Watkins (gay nabe Bob), one of the funniest actors to come out of daytime (where he plays ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s David) being completely wasted? Maybe it’s my completion issues, but it annoys me when shows introduce us to characters and then let them sit there doing nothing.
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I can’t help but think that all the viewers who turned into GOSSIP GIRL for the first time Monday night — lured by the promise of an OMFG! experience — walked away disappointed. “Where are the naked people? Where’s the sex?” they might have been left answer. Oh, sure, Serena was gifted with porn and handcuffs, and her brother was used as an unwitting drug mule, but the majority of the episode revolved around the battle between dethroned Queen Bee Blair and wanna-be Jenny. While the final cliffhanger was fun, much of the episode was exactly the opposite of what those endless promos promised: This wasn’t a sexy, shocking hour of television, but rather an often juvenile, not particularly witty outting. Don’t get me wrong: I love, love, love GG. But there’s a difference between what they’re selling and what they’re delivering. Call me a cynic, but it seemed like an awfully intresting “coincidence” that the glam pad in which Serena and Chuck live has a big-ol’ picture window through which can be seen a neon sign for New York magazine. You know, the mag whose most recent cover declared GG the Best Show Ever. (With, it might be noted, an asterisk noting “not really”, although I bet THAT won’t show up in an advertising campaign.)
Am I the only one who was absolutely disgusted by President Bush’s “cameo” on DEAL OR NO DEAL? This man has kept our troops in danger with his pointless war, repeatedly refusing to sign legislation which would shorten their over-extended stays in Iraq, disregarded the will of the people — you know, the ones whom he represents and yet there he is, cracking jokes about his approval rating and the national debt (you know, the one spiraling out of control because of the war?) on a game show. Come to think of it, disgusted doesn’t even begin to sum up my reaction.
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Okay, sure, over the past few months I’m sure some of you have come to think of me as a reality-TV junkie with low-brow tastes and questionable intelligence. But dang it, not everything I watch features people screaming obscenities as they fight losing battles! For instance, I just finished watching a two-part, four-hour FRONTLINE special titled BUSH’S WAR in which… well, okay, there was talk of obscenities being shouted and we were obviously engaged in a losing battle, but surely it had to earn me at least a few bonus points among TV snobs, right? In all seriousness, if they rerun this special or you can get your hands on a copy, do. It was an absorbing, fascinating look into an administration that has at every point looked at their options and made the worst possible decision. It will intrigue, frustrate and at times inspire… if only debate as to which official’s lie was the worst.
I’m ashamed to admit I watched the premiere of HELL’S KITCHEN. I was practically goaded into doing so by a friend, and walked away realizing the difference between this nasty offering and my favorite food-centric show, TOP CHEF. While KITCHEN is designed for people who enjoy seeing others humiliated, CHEF is actually a competition geared toward foodies such as myself. How else to explain that when those toiling in HELL were asked to prepare a signature dish, we never even found out what half of them were, but were instead treated to shots of celebrity chef/asshat Gordon Ramsay alternately puking (literally, we are expected to believe) and hurtling insults. (This season, the contestants are vying for the “honor” of working for Ramsay. I’d have run for the hills as soon as that announcement was made.) This is as fake as reality TV gets. CHEF, on the other hand, focuses heavily on the food and offers up insightful commentary from the judges as to why certain dishes didn’t cut the mustard. For those who say all reality television is cut from the same cloth, I offer these shows as an example of what the genre can be… and what it all too often settles for.
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I knew little Jamie was gonna wind up face-down in the pool sooner or later on ONE TREE HILL. I actually thought it would happen in the first episode, when pop Nathan was still in the wheel chair. I assumed Nathan would pull himself up from the wheelchair and save his son’s life. But no, they didn’t go the predictable route. Or at least not that predictable. Anybody else assume that when Brooke and her boy toy found a woman passed out in that glam New York City pad, it would be Victoria? Why is the show using Daphne Zuniga so infrequently? And am I wrong, or was Mouth completely missing from this week’s outing? And Lindsay? As much as I’m loving the show, it’s in serious need of balancing.
You’ve gotsta love the makeover episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, if only to see which girls will emerge looking hot and which will wind up on the “ghetto mess” side. Every year, a girl cries, and this year it was Fatima, who wept while getting a weave. Now I’m told by a friend who has had her fair share of weaves that it is a pretty awful process. But for God’s sake, Fatima was the victim of genital mutilation in her home country! Surely the discomfort of a weave can’t begin to compare to having your vagina sewn shut! Meanwhile, Allison was this week’s “oblivious moron”, what with her insistence that she rocked her photo shoot despite the fact that the photographer — who said of her “the lights are on, but nobody’s home” — and Mr. Jay were clearly unhappy with her performance. And just for the record, when Miss Tyra asks if you know how to say “thank you” and then the panel looks at you expectantly, be smart enough to say — all together now — thank you! Oh, a special note to the producers: We viewers are willing to put up with product placement, but there’s a limit. This single hour featured Apple Bottom jeans, specific Cover Girl products (as well as the weekly mention of the company with the makeup giant), Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart.com and Elle McPherson’s line of “knickers.” Frankly, I was amazed that with all those products to be placed, they found time for actual commercials!
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