The TV Addict 

In this era of internet spoilage (Thank-you-very-much-Michael-Ausiello) it’s an increasingly rare treat when this TV Addict finds himself genuinely surprised by a character death. And while we’re the first to admit that thanks to a flurry of pre-episode interviews, this seasoned TV blogger probably should have seen last night’s killer VAMPIRE DIARIES ending coming, serious kudos must go out to actress Kayla Ewell for delivering a character so devilishly fun, we didn’t want to go there. Seriously. Vicki, it was way too soon. But if shows like HEROES have taught us anything, it’s that (a) if you’re going to be the first character to go, you might as well do so when the show’s still the talk of the town (or twitter). And (b) whether it be in ghost form or flashback, we have a feeling that you’ll be back.

The resurgence of PARKS AND RECREATION continued last night with a hilarious Halloween themed instalment that had Amy Poehler’s Leslie Knope matching wits with 15-year old teenage hooligan named Greg Pikitis. Not only did Pikitis — or as we’re calling him, the most diabolical teenaged vandal since the heydays of one Bart Simpson — provide for an eerily perfect foil for Knope, his shenanigans managed to give hilarious co-stars Louis CK and Chris Pratt some much deserved time in the spotlight. So much so that we’re really hoping this little trick-or-treat-battle-of-wits becomes a PARKS AND RECREATION annual tradition.

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Thank to yet another stellar outing, this TV Addict is officially ready to crown 90210 the season’s most improved player. But in lieu of a crown — which alas, this little-blog-that-could most definitely can’t afford — we hope the CW and new showrunner Rebecca Rand Kirshner Sinclair will accept something far more valuable: A mea culpa. After-all, when we’re wrong, we’re wrong. Which is why we’re willing to admit that in-spite of stars Annalynne McCord and Trevor Donovan looking like they’re 17 going on 30, we currently find ourselves growing surprisingly attached to them both. Particularly McCord, whose desperate attempt to weasel her way into California University last night by morphing from Naomi Clark into Naomi Klein had us in stitches. Meanwhile, Shenae Grimes’ Annie Mills is not only far less annoying this season, she has us genuinely concerned for her safety. And by that we mean, is it possible for new friend Jasper to give off anymore of a creepy Beaver Cassidy Casablancas Neptune High circa 2006 vibe? (RIP: VERONICA MARS) Call us crazy, but we’re starting to wonder if Jasper’s Uncle may have been dead before Annie drove away from her personal prom nightmare!

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From Ty Burrell’s self-proclaimed ‘hip’ dad, MARRIED… WITH CHILDREN’s Ed O’Neil playing a crotchety grandpa (albeit one who’s married to a much younger and hotter woman) and Mitchell and Cameron, who as EW’s Ken Tucker so correctly pointed our are the odd couple for our generation, is it safe to assume that MODERN FAMILY lived up to it’s billing as the funniest new show of the fall?

Question: Which show made better use of yours (okay, our) iTunes collection? Cameron’s over-the-top presentation of adoptive baby Lily to his ‘Modern Family’ with a little help from The Lion King’s “Circle of Life” or Kurt’s GLEE-ful game-winning field goal to the tune of Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies?’

And speaking of ‘Sophie’s Choice,’ can Congress not put aside the whole pesky health-care thing and get their act together crafting a bill that really matters. You know, like the one that we’d like to propose, banning networks (Yes, we’re talking to you ABC and FOX) from putting their two strongest offerings (MODERN FAMILY and GLEE) on the same night at the exact time. I mean seriously, WTF?! (Which we learned yesterday thanks to our new favorite clueless hipster dad Phil (MODERN FAMILY’s Ty Burrell) means, “Why the Face?!”)

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Don’t be surprised if ABC’s THE FORGOTTEN is one of the just-begun season’s first casualties. Not because it’s a bad show — which it’s not, particularly — or because it’s basically COLD CASE: SPECIAL VOLUNTEER UNIT — which it is, basically — but rather because it premiered last night with almost no buzz. I’d be willing to bet that most of you are sitting there right now saying, “I never even saw an ad for that! What’s it about?” This happens every season… network’s decide early on which shows to throw their advertising budgets behind and, in doing so, basically allow others to become… well, forgotten. So while you’ve seen a barrage of ads for COUGAR TOWN, FLASH FORWARD, EASTWICK and MODERN FAMILY,chances are THE FORGOTTEN managed to sneak onto the airwaves without you even being aware of its existence. (I only happened to see an ad yesterday for the first time.) Plus it had the misfortune of airing against CBS’ THE GOOD WIFE, one of that network’s most trumpeted offerings. The show itself is well done, for what it is. Christian Slater — who plays former-cop-turned-volunteer-identity-sleuth Alex Donavon — kinda winces his way through, looking almost as if he blames all of us for not watching MY OWN WORST ENEMY and keeping him employed by that much smarter show. But Bob Stephenson (JERICHO) is downright fun to watch as Walter, a guy who we learn via a brilliant throwaway visual idolizes NYPD BLUE’s Sipowitz and thinks he’s a lot better at this whole crime-solving thing than he is. Of course, each member of the squad has a personal reason for doing what they do… I guess nobody does the right thing just ’cause it’s the right thing to do anymore. And given the whole SCOOBY-DOO vibe, you can’t help but view Anthony Carrigan’s scruffy young sculptor, Tyler, as the group’s Shaggy, making it a tad odd when an uncooperative potential witness refers to Walter by that name. All in all, there’s a lot here that works, and you could certainly do worse than to spend your time with this rag-tag team of investigators. But do it now, because I suspect it won’t be around long.

Having seen tonight’s GLEE in advance, all I will say is this: Watch it. You will laugh. You will cry. You’ll thank me.

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Call us crazy, but last night’s two-hour season premiere of HOUSE that had the good doctor (not to mention us viewers) stuck in Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital for what felt like an eternity alongside some very talented guest stars (including Franka Potente, Andre Braugher and Broadway’s Lin-Manuel Miranda) was an epic fail. Okay sure, Laurie now has the pre-requisite ‘Very Special Episode’ for next year’s Emmy reel already in the can. And yes, the show, which does tend to become somewhat repetitious did switch things up from the standard mystery illness of the week. But for our money, last night is not how you start off a season. Personal character journeys that leave supporting favorites such as Cuddy, Chase and Cameron in the wings should be reserved for mid-season or at the very least, sweeps episodes. Not a season opener where viewers have waited very patiently all summer long for the return of their favorite differential diagnosticians.

While Robert Knepper’s ‘King of the Carnival’ certainly piqued our interest, and Claire giving it the ol’ college try had us intrigued, Hiro and Ando’s ‘Dial a Hero’ had us dialing another channel… RIP HEROES.

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C.T. offers up some random musings from around the dial…
 
Kudos to you, LAW & ORDER: SVU! About two minutes into the season finale, I was all set to write a piece on how Dick Wolf had made a rare misstep with annoying tech Dale Stuckey, who first appeared earlier this season. I even wanted to suggest that this fall’s season finale revolve around the geek’s murder. And then the show went and pulled the rug right out from under me by turning the guy into a psycho killer. And it was a blast (and a little hawt) to watch Olivia manhandle her sexy partner. But man, did the continuity department do a crappy job where the blood stains on Stabler’s shirt were concerned!
 
I’M A CELEBRITY’s Stephen Baldwin and the Pratt brats are giving religion the worst rap it’s had since the days of the inquisition. When even Janice Dickinson is disgusted by your behavior, it’s time for a little soul searching.
 
You’ve gotta love HARDBALL’s Chris Matthews if only because when folks refuse to give him a straight answer, he keeps asking again and again. He gets as frustrated as you and I would with someone’s BS but, unlike most people in his position,he actually calls people on their crap. And unlike Bill O’Reilly, who occasionally does the same thing, he doesn’t do it in a way that belittles or insults the person shoveling the crap.

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Attention network bigwigs. CouchTater here. And while I’m sure you don’t really care as you look down from your big black Hollywood towers, I’d like to just point out a few things to y’all.

First, to Showtime president of entertainment Bob Greenblatt. I know you’re real excited about that spin-off of THE L-WORD that may or may not get the go-ahead (the pilot is only now being edited). But agreeing with reporters that it sounds like “a female OZ” why not give credit where credit is due and admit that it sounds like a PRISONER CELL BLOCK H ripoff… er, homage.

iFMAGAZINE.COM is reporting that former JERICHO executive producer Jon Turteltaub is developing a big-screen flick around the twice-failed series. I don’t want to call the man delusional, but he thinks if reruns of the series on the CW are “like this remarkable success”, it might get another shot at life on a network. And did we mention he’s developing a feature film? Dude, give it up.

New York’s Daily News says that by adding judge Kara Dioguardia, AMERICAN IDOL has “finally found its mean girl.” Yeah, cause that’s what the show needed. To be meaner.

PRISON BREAK’s executive producer told Entertainment Weekly that they were ending the show because nobody wanted it to “become a parody of itself.” Um, too late.

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At what point does a spoiler stop becoming a spoiler? I was talking to someone recently about NIP/TUCK and why I was disappointed in the big season three reveal concerning the identity of The Carver. The person I was chatting with suddenly got so upset, I could only assume I had been wildly gesticulating — you know, to better illustrate my point — and somehow severed one of their primary arteries. “I haven’t seen that yet! I just got season one from Netflix!” they said, as if I should somehow have been aware that they were drinking from a water cooler nobody had been chatting around in five years. Another friend of mine was taken to task for having “revealed” the identity of a major character who dies in the Harry Potter series. (I’m not being vague out of fear that I might spoil a surprise for you, gentle readers, but because, um, it’s been SO long since I read the book in question or saw the movie it spawned that I can’t remember!) Sure, it’s one thing if you taped, TiVo’s, DVR’d or are planning to watch something on-line that aired a few days ago. But after a week or two, doesn’t a spoiler become, well, literally yesterday’s news? Is the world supposed to speak of the adventures of P. Sawyer and B. Davis in hushed tones because I’m only now watching season two of ONE TREE HILL?

I’d like to get excited about the fact that ONE TREE HILL creator Mark Schwahn is in negotiations to head up the new incarnation of MELROSE PLACE… but let’s not forget that it wasn’t all that long ago that VERONICA MARS mastermind Rob Thomas was being talked about as the man who would update 90210. Wonder if that show would be better if he’d actually stuck around that zip code? In any case, I’m of two minds where the Schwahn/MP talk is concerned. On the one hand, TREE HILL is one of my favorite guilty pleasures, which is pretty much all I want out of a new versionof MELROSE PLACE. On the other hand, um, doesn’t the fact that TREE HILL is so great kind of negate the need for MELROSE? Especially since Schwahn would, like Thomas, only have him penning the initial script before handing the whole thing over to someone else. And by “someone else” we mean people far less talented. Like those writing 90210 now.

So AMERICAN IDOL is pulling the plug on IDOL GIVES BACK because the economy is in the toilet? Isn’t that rather like not feeding a bulimic because they’ll just vomit it up anyway? Oh, and don’t worry about those pesky rumors that the judges will be nicer this season. Executive producer Ken Warwick tells USA TODAY the comments of the judges (read: Simon) won’t be softened. “If they’re mean, they’re mean.” When the producer says he will “do his best to offset” the drop in ratings, why do I hear, “Simon will be meaner, we’ll feature more folks who can’t sing and don’t be surprised if we do a special tribute to Paula’s dead stalker!”

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Is it just me, or have the networks thrown in the towel?

NBC has decided to dispense with original programming in the 10 p.m. slot five nights a week in favor of a Jay Leno-hosted chatfest. Many nights, you’re more likely to find a reality show than a scripted program on at least two of the five major nets. Same-week reruns liter the schedule. And quality programming — think DAMAGES, TRUE BLOOD or RESCUE ME — are more likely to be found on cable.

Worse, many of their upcoming offerings stink of flop-sweat. Take MOMMA’S BOYS. Please. Take it, and don’t come back. Or the latest incarnation of THE BACHELOR, in which a single dad seems ready to turn his son’s future well-being into fodder for a reality show on which past contestants have exhibited truly attrocious behavior.

Across the board, network numbers are down. But perhaps they have only themselves to blame. After all, they’re making it easier and easier for us to watch the shows they’re offering at our leisure. We can watch on-line, or wait until the end of the season and purchase the shows on DVD. We can cruise on over to iTunes, or Hulu.com or AOLvideo.com or… well, you get the picture. Suddenly, Must-See TV has morphed into Will-See-When-I-Get-Around-To-It TV. And of course, the current ratings system is tragically flawed, perhaps broken beyond repair.

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Angels and demons and wisecracks, oh my! Yup, SUPERNATURAL is back with a vengeance. “Apocalypse?” asks Dean upon finding out what he and brother Sam are up against. “As in apocalypse apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, five-dollar-a-gallon gas apocalypse?” Two episodes into the new season, they’re doing everything right. Dean was out of hell quicker than you can say “ouch, those chains must hurt!” and we now have Castiel, the creepy angel (sorry, but I just don’t trust the guy!) to add a whole new layer to the story being told. One of the things this show does incredibly well is reward regular viewers with episodes like last night’s, in which several secondary characters from the past came back to haunt our harried heroes. As Castiel hinted, there are “big things afoot”… and I can’t wait!

Is there anything worse than seeing a show you love go down the tubes? Last season, I became disapointed in UGLY BETTY, which seemed to have lost its way and, even worse, its heart. But if Thursday night’s third-season premiere was any indication, I may eventually look fondly back on BETTY’s sophomore slump. Why? Because once again, our heroine — who during the sublime debut season was the voice of reason in a world gone mad — is back to acting like… well, the lead in a very bad sitcom. In one episode, she bought an apartment sight-unseen, engaged in a childish food fight and somehow wound up riding a motorcycle into a pool of bikini-glad women. Worse, she wasn’t the only one to act completely out of character. Sorry, but Hilda has far too much respect for her father and son to have sex on the living room couch… even if it is with uber-hot Eddie Cibrian. Heck, even Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa were possessed by behavior-modifying pod people as they always fawning hosts trash-talked the Meade family and their new publication. Yeah, that’d happen. As the hour came to a close, I looked forward to one of the cliffhangers the show was once known for… only to get Betty dancing ala every female on GREY’S ANATOMY after meeting her cute neighbor… who, I’m guessing, is supposed to make me forget about Henry and Gino. Apparently, investing in that whole triangle was a big ol’ waste of my time. If this episode was a sign of things to come, I’m not hopeful about the new season.(Although i would urge them to sign Lindsay Lohan to more episodes, as she was a surprisingly delightful bright spot as Betty’s high-school nemesis, Kimberly.)

I’ll admit that last season, LIPSTICK JUNGLE somehow became something of a guilty pleasure for me. I hated myself for liking it because, well, frankly, I couldn’t explain exactly what I liked about it. Looks like I came to my senses over the summer, because I can freely admit that this week’s season two premiere was pure crap. Looks Like I have a free hour on my schedule. Any suggestions for a replacement?

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