The TV Addict 

When CASHMERE MAFIA premiered, I commented that it felt like a show written by men about women. Well, the same can’t be said for the show its creator was attempting to rip-off before it could even air, LIPSTICK JUNGLE. Everything CASHMERE got wrong is done right on JUNGLE, especially smaller moments. Take, for example, the scene in which ticked exec Nico (Kim Raver) casually over-peppered a rival’s salad while talking to their mutual boss. Once Nico left the table, the victim of her little prank took a bite of the newly spiced salad. Where CASHMERE no doubt would have played this scene big, with a coughing fit and perhaps chugged water, JUNGLE went with a very quick, subtle reaction shot before moving on. And that’s the difference here. The leads feel like people as opposed to caricatures. I wasn’t completely sold on Lindsay Price’s Victory at first, but by the midway point, she’d grown on me. And Brooke Shields hasn’t been this appealing since… well, ever. Sure, there were credibility issues… I mean, would a woman hoping to move up the corporate ladder really allow herself to be manhandled — no matter how hot the man doing the handling — in a public bathroom during a party she was hosting? But when, after pushing the hottie away by proclaiming herself a married woman, Nico went home to a husband so oblivious to her as a sexual being that he failed to notice the phone number written in magic marker upon her thigh… well, you just had to cringe on her behalf. I wasn’t thrilled with Andrew McCartney, who seemed terribly miscast (although someone at NBC was definitely trying to get the most bang for their buck where he’s concerned… the night before the show debuted, LAW & ORDER CRIMINAL INTENT showed scenes for its next episode trumpeting that it starred “LIPSTICK JUNGLE’s Andrew McCartney!”). I’ve tried to get into CASHMERE, but found it tough going. I suspect JUNGLE is going to quickly become a favorite. Hey, what do you know, even with the strike, NBC has managed to turn Thursday back into Must See TV night!

Last week’s episode of LOST left me underwhelmed and convinced that it had originally been part of a two-hour offering, and after this week’s boffo installment, I’d bet cash money I was right. Given the relative debacle that unfolded after the show introduced the “tailies” last season, I was worried when upon hearing so many new people would be coming aboard in this episode. But each and every one of them were welcome additions, adding to the canvas as opposed to the tailies, who seemed designed as little more than a water-treading plot device. Heck, five minutes after we met Charlotte, I was in love with her… which was extremely important in order for the moment when Ben shot her to have an impact. Now some of the people who take LOST a whole lot more serious than I do tell me that the flashbacks in this episode don’t play be previously established “rules” regarding points of view and such, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m not one of the viewers who looks for hidden meaning or freeze-frames shots to figure out who’s hiding out in that freaky-deaky cabin. All I want is a good, exciting story, and even when I can’t necessarily remember every detail of what’s come before, LOST tends to deliver.

Answer me this, PROJECT RUNWAY fans: Was this week’s outing not the funniest ever? I swear, by the time Christian and Sweet P started arm wrestling, I was half convinced the contestants had been slipped some kind of drug. Even dour Jillian cracked a few smiles! During the runway show, it was obvious that Michael Kors and Nina Garcia had no clue what to think of the spandex numbers being worn by WWE divas. “I feel like the pope at a sex club!” said Kors at one point. Christian was obviously disappointed that his leather-and-lace outfit didn’t win, and rightly so. While he’s usually overconfident to the point of being obnoxious, this week, the kid rocked it and was — as he loves to proclaim — fierce. But I’m afraid the judges made the right call: There was no denying that Chris’ leopard-in-a-cage outfit was a total winner. By the way, is it just me, or should Chris totally be cast as Edna Turnblad the next time Broadway is looking to recast Hairspray? And that’s a compliment, people! Heck, I wish he’d played the role in the movie instead of John Rivolta.

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Thanks to high profile gigs on FRIENDS, THE OC and KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL, actress Bonnie Somerville hasn’t left this TV Addict’s radar since arriving on the scene with the brilliant-but-cancelled Darren Star laugher GROSSE POINTE.

Not one for the unemployment line, Somerville can now be seen playing Caitlin Dowd on ABC’s Wednesday night guilty pleasure CASHMERE MAFIA. And recently, was kind enough to take some time from her schedule to chat with reporters about her her role on MAFIA, being Darren Star’s unlucky charm and the inevitable comparisons to that other show about four beautiful New York women.

GROSSE POINTE and KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL were two of my favorite shows ever. It quite literally pains me to think that they had such short runs! What happened?
Bonnie Somerville: I’m still not over GROSSE POINTE. The show has such a fanatical fanbase. People just love that show. I’ll never be over it. It was one of the greatest written shows, but clearly ahead of it’s time. Before MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE and SCRUBS single camera half hour comedies were rare. And the WB which aired it, didn’t believe in it.

KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL was also a blast. FOX only aired three episodes. No one got to see it, it was really hard. The cast was so close.

CASHMERE MAFIA is your third Darren Star show. Where are you hiding the incriminating photos?
I don’t know why he keeps hiring me. All of the shows keep getting cancelled! But he’s been very good to me. Most people in Hollywood say they like you, but he puts his money where his mouth is. I’m very lucky.

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Last night, the TV Addict was so desperate for original programming that I tuned into THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. While on paper the show sounded intriguing; answer questions truthfully for the chance to win half a million dollars. The reality is far from it. Turns out that reveling in the misery of others is not as entertaining as it sounds and in the end, I simply felt dirty just for tuning. Rest assured I won’t be making that mistake again. (On a somewhat related note: Help me WGA negotiating team… your my only hope!)

The same can’t be said for CASHMERE MAFIA. Critics be damned, I’m loving this show. It’s light, fluffy and the perfect antidote to the grossness of THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. Did anyone else catch Bonnie Summerville’s ‘Nolita’ shout-out to hers and Darren Star’s previous brilliant but cancelled series KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL? And those tired of Caitlin’s is-she-or-isn’t-she lipstick lesbian story, take note. In a recent interview with the TV Addict (to be posted soon) Summerville revealed that the question of her ‘team’ will be dealt with in two weeks. As will Juliet’s status with husband of the year* Davis (*note sarcasm). How much fun was watching Juliet literally kick Davis to the curb? Of course my favorite moment of the night goes to Zoe. Who’s quickly turned into the show’s most entertaining and likable character. Not only did she totally pull off a fantastic birthday for her son, she managed to save an enormous business deal in the midst of all the paintball chaos. Pretty much, the coolest mom ever. I wonder how long until her marriage starts crumbling?

Agree, Disagree, Post away!

Wonder if ABC is kicking itself for having wasted their remaining episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES to try and lure viewers — much as Bree used son Andrew — to CASHMERE MAFIA. Had it worked, they’d be called brilliant, but as the ratings proved, even strike-deprived TV fans had little interest in Darren Star’s attempt to beat SEX AND THE CITY author Candace Bushnell to the punch. How bad were the numbers? Let’s just say that the second hour of AMERICAN GLADIATORS took a hit out on the MAFIA gals.

I was wildly uncomfortable with the whole “Bree pimps her son to an older guy” storyline on DH… which means it was wildly successful. Let’s face it… a good, adult-skewed dramedy should, on occasion, make us squirm. And that sure wasn’t going to happen with the ridiculous “Lynette has an epiphany” crap. Although I have to say, Felicity Huffman can make just about anything work. When Lynette was running around that field with Ida’s ashes, how radiant was Huffman? Given the opening sequence in which Edie clasped Karen’s hand, wouldn’t it have been nice if she’d played into that storyline, too? What the hell does Nicollette Sheridan have to do to get a storyline?

Now onto MAFIA: Only a show created by a man (Darren Star) and written by another man (Kevin Wade) could think it was a good idea to have the first five minutes feature Lucy Liu as a girlie-girl. Within the first 10 minutes, this show shoved every stereotype and cliche down our throats, and tried washing it down with a plot that was beyond predictable. How bad was it? The nanny quit, one of the ladies actually said “It’s 2007, she can have it all!”, the newly engaged couple were made competitors, a teen walked in on her mom having sex and there was a “woman with a penis” joke. We’re talking first 10 minutes, kids. And of course, what would a male-conceived show centering on women be without a beautiful gal questioning her sexuality (with her first kiss set, of course, to the tune “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman”)? And should any of my real-life friends be reading this, a note: If you’re going to tell me that the person I love is cheating, doing so right before the party at which I’m going to be honored is definitely not the right moment. Of course, it all ends with hoisted champagne glasses and a round of “I don’t know what I’d do without you girls.” Were this all even mildly amusing or compelling, these flaws might be forgiveable. Sadly, it’s not. The cast is uniformly excellent and luminous (particularly Miranda Otto’s Juliet, who is sheer perfection as the icy, cheated-upon wife who vows revenge)… too bad nobody thought to give them a script equally sparkly. The last line is, “This is going to be fun,” but I can’t say I’ll be sticking around to find out if that proves true in future episodes. Hopefully, LIPSTICK JUNGLE will show the MAFIA chicks how it’s really done.

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I’m just going to say it. This TV Addict enjoyed CASHMERE MAFIA.

Admittedly, my judgement may be suffering from the likes of “Rerun-itis” or the lesser known “WGA Strike Syndrome,” but creator Darren Star’s not-so-subtle attempt to recapture that SEX IN THE CITY magic worked for me. The all-star cast was incredibly likable and the story-lines were interesting and well-paiced. In fact, this TV Addict’s only issue with the episode occurred during the show’s finale moments when frienemy Priscilla Gray confronted the girls and stated, “The Cashmere Mafia, that’s what they call you, you know.” Oh good, because up until that clarification, audiences didn’t make the connection between our 4 heroines and show’s title. Memo to ABC, we’re not stupid.

Further evidence the TV Addict’s judgement may be suffering: I enjoyed DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Susan for once wasn’t annoying (to Teri Hatcher’s credit, she’s far more likable sans the deadweight that’s become known as Mike Delfino). Bree was hilarious as she tried to pimp out Andrew for a new roof (Oh the things one will do for a a 60″ HD TV. Believe me, I’ve been there!) And Lynette and Gaby’s story-lines were genuinely touching (Anyone else think that Gaby is secretly hiding Carlos’ 10 million dollars?) My only complaint — would it have killed creator Marc Cherry to give us a tiny clue — a word even — as to what Adam and Dylan read that made their eyes almost pop out of their sockets? Who knows how long it will be until we get the next new episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES?

Agree/Disagree, You be the critic.