The TV Addict 

Due to my very own aforementioned family drama, this TV Addict didn’t have the opportunity to catch last night’s Walker family drama on BROTHERS & SISTERS. Which is why I thought I’d open things by asking, sans spoilers, did last night’s two hour movie event live up to the hype?

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Yet again Bart illustrates that underachieving is the way to go when he alongside his fellow Springfield Elementary “underperformers” get an exemption from taking the test and are whisked away to Capital City.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (9PM ABC)
In an effort to single-handedly prop up the California wine industry, tonight’s two-hour installment promises double the surprises (A Walker health crisis!? A Walker exit!?) and assuredly, double the alcohol consumption.

UNITED STATES OF TARA (9PM Showtime)
While you’ll tune in for Toni Collette’s Emmy worthy performance, you’ll stick around for the equally unique, hilarious and touching supporting cast of characters including Keir Gilchrist, Nathan Corddry and Rosemarie DeWitt. The latter of whom delivered one of the funniest monologues in recent memory during last week’s very NSFW episode.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
THE SIMPSONS (8PM FOX, GlobalTV in Canada)
Could Homer’s entire life have been different if he had been elected the president of his high school senior class? (I hear John McCain was recently pondering that very same question about his own life!)

FAMILY GUY (9PM FOX, GlobalTV in Canada)
Desperately in love with Joe and Bonnie’s new baby, Stewie struggles to write a love song. ‘Cause you know, crap like “I Just Called To Say I Love You” doesn’t just write itself!

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
Things I don’t care about that are involved in tonight’s episode: Susan and Mike’s relationship (which lost me when they had one second of happiness and then fell apart off screen thanks to the time-warp); the Scavo’s pizza joint (Please, God, get Lynette back into the world of advertising!); Gaby blackmailing Carlos’ boss (Has her character grown one iota over the years? No. They occasionally show us two seconds worth of growth, then next week, she’s back to her usual obnoxious self). Things I might care about: Tensions rise between Bree, Andrew and Orson (I like that family, even when they’re in boring plots). And here’s something a character and I have in common: Dave is kinda fed up with everyone int he neighborhood being suspicious of him. Me too, Dave. Do something nasty, get killed and let’s be done with this!

AMERICAN DAD (9:30PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Holy cow, Roger has two families! And has for years! You know, I don’t actually care for this show. But then again, I spent years not liking FAMILY GUY, ONE TREE HILL and SUPERNATURAL, all of which are favorites now, so maybe it’s time to give it a second look.

BIG LOVE (9PM HBO, 10PM TMN in Canada)
Things get even more crowded for Bill and his wives thanks to an unexpected arrival, and Roman makes plans for a big comeback.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Rebecca sets out to find her dad, and it may be just as well she’s out of town, because Tommy is stepping up his plan to oust Holly. Something tells me there will be alcohol consumed at some point.

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WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (9PM ABC)
In this week’s edition of “The More You Know,” some free advice for Susan who is determined to send MJ to a school she and Mike can’t afford. GET A JOB!

BROTHERS & SISTERS (10PM ABC)
For all the skinny on the latest mysterious Walker to come out of the woodwork, .

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ARVIN SLOANE IN DA HOUSE
On the off chance Sol and Tommy are having trouble formulating a plan to rid Walker Landing of the duplicitous and some might say borderline evil Holly Harper. We’ve got five letters to get the ball rolling: WWASD (What Would Arvin Sloane Do!)

ABC, YOU’VE BEEN SERVED
Even though some might say we’re equally culpable for completely ignoring the genius that is BOSTON LEGAL over the course these past four seasons. This TV Addict would like to use this opportunity to shift the blame to the real guilty party, ABC. I mean it’s almost as if creator genius hyphenate David E. Kelly was sending some sort of cryptic message to the proverbial powers that be when he had Betty White’s Catherine PIper sue the networks during last week’s penultimate episode for failing to cater to anyone outside of the 18-34 demographic.

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In our recent review of LIFE ON MARS, this TV Addict neglected to include one etsy bitsy detail for fear that readers may think that, well, I’m the one who is actually stuck in a coma and slightly off kilter.

That said, following last night’s installment, I simply have to get this off my chest. Am I the crazy one, or are LIFE ON MARS star Jason O’Mara and BROTHERS & SISTERS Walker sibling Matthew Rhys not eerily identical. Especially when it comes to the cadence of their voices?

I heard a rumor that PUSHING DAISIES is done as a series and seeing as you are the most in the know person I know. Is this true? Or have I been bamboozled? — Dan B.

The TV Addict: The facts are these. People stopped using the term Bamboozled in 1931. But seriously, as dreadful as PUSHING DAISIES’ ratings have been — and they have been dreadful. ABC has yet to bury the show six feet under. Which is why if you really, and I mean really care about the fate of Ned, Chuck, Olive and Emerson you will be sure to not only tune into a brand new episode of PUSHING DAISIES at 8PM tonight on ABC, but knock on every house on your block and convince your neighbors to do the same.*

*Please Note: theTVaddict.com does not condone door-to-door begging and pleading in an effort to raise the ratings of your favorite shows. Unless those shows were among my dearly departed brilliant-but-cancelled favorites such as EVERWOOD, JACK & BOBBY, GROSSE POINTE, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT and KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL.

Can you please explain to me how KNIGHT RIDER got a full season pick up before EVERY OTHER SHOW ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH? — Jenn

The TV Addict: What’s that? You’re not buying my theory that NBC President Ben Silverman is secretly the fifth and final Cylon who has given a starring role to a talking car with the hopes of secretly pushing his pro-machine agenda on an unsuspecting public. Well then, how does this slightly more plausible theory from frequent friend-of-the-site John Kubiceck sound, “Even with modest ratings, NBC is making so much money from Ford by having KNIGHT RIDER on the air that Ben Silverman would be an idiot in these tough economic times to give up such a lucrative deal just because the show is bad. Making money with crap like that is what allows NBC to keep airing low-rated stuff like CHUCK and 30 ROCK.” 

Of course this TV Addict would be remiss if I didn’t point out to Mr. Kubiceck that (a) I’m not sure we know exactly how much NBC is getting to keep the super-sized Ford commercial that is KNIGHT RIDER on the air. And (b) CHUCK is no stranger when it comes to insanely intrusive SMALLVILLE levels of product placement [See: Recent sales pitch story-line featuring Michael Strahan and MADDEN '09.]

I’m still confused over your assertion that IN TREATMENT has been cancelled. Please clarify. — Marisa

The TV Addict: Now this may come as a shock to some, but it turns out that this TV Addict isn’t perfect. I mean who knew that sitting in front of a buteiful high defanition flatt screen for houres on end wuld be detrimental to my smarts? [TV Addict Note: Unlike my usual poor uses of spelling and grammar, the previous sentence of typos was purely for comedic effect.]

Which is why I’m here to apologize to fans of IN TREATMENT everywhere. All ten of you. Embarrassingly enough, I’ve been confusing IN TREATMENT’s cancellation, or lack there of, with TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. So to clarify, a second season of IN TREATMENT is officially moving forward with Hope Davis on board to play Mira, a high-powered malpractice lawyer and FRASIER’s John Mahoney signing on the dotted line to play Bill, a CEO who finds that life is passing him by.

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In an effort to get this TV Addict up to speed on what I should be watching first upon my return home from New York, please take a moment to post away with your [spoiler free!] thoughts on last night’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, BROTHERS & SISTERS & DEXTER.

While the Walker Family and the women of Wisteria Lane are no stranger to serious lapses in judgment. It’s quite possible that Sunday’s installments of both BROTHERS & SISTERS and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES featured two characters reaching an all time low. So much so that theTVaddict.com went as far as to create a new feature that we like to call, “Vote For the Stupidest!” Also known as, Vote for the fictional TV character who made Paris Hilton look like a Rhodes Scholar.

In this corner, weighing in at approximately 98 pounds is BROTHERS & SISTERS’ Kitty Walker. Who having apparently never sat through a Walker family dinner herself, thought it would be a ’smart’ idea to invite her entire extended family over for a ’show the adoption agency how normal we are’ dinner.

Versus, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ Lynette Scavo. Who in a desperate [get it?!] attempt to get closer to her son Porter decided to create a fake profile on Wisteria Lane’s version of Facebook. Only to have it blow up in her face entirely, humiliate Porter and worst of all, endure a well-deserved verbal smack-down from Tom who suggested Lynette break-up with Porter by writing, “Dear Porter, I’m really liking you, but I wanna see other offspring.”

Vote for the stupidest in the comments below.

After spending all summer hearing about a twist so huge it would be like “throwing a pebble on a mountain, only to have it turn into an avalanche that can’t be stopped.” This TV Addict couldn’t help but feel slightly let down by last night’s supposedly shocking ending to DEXTER’s third season opener. I mean seriously, Dexter is a daddy? Isn’t that type of predictable plot contrivance usually reserved for DEXTER’s time-slot competitor DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES?

Which bring us to the ladies of Wisteria Lane. Who in a word, I LOVED! As expected. the five year flash forward was the exact ingredient DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES needed to completely reinvigorate the show. Not only do we now get to spend an hour a week filling in the blanks as to what happened to our fab five over the course of the past five years, we get an even funnier Gabby, a far less annoying Susan, a vindictive Edie, the seemingly never-ending one-upmanship of Bree vs. Katherine and the ups and downs that is the Scavo Family.

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