In September, you very own TV Addict was given the opportunity to visit the set of 24. And while I’m not at liberty just yet to share my photos of the unbelievably cool looking new and improved CTU (Think: Apple Store with orange highlights) or interviews with the cast (including new addition Mykelti Williamson and everybody’s favorite analyst Mary Lynn Rajskub), I did want to share — to coincide with last week’s release of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN on DVD — an unexpected and hilarious somewhat not-safe-for-work tale of Edward James Olmos’ directing the movie, courtesy of Katee Sackhoff. Enjoy.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN.
After sitting through the Edward James Olmos direct-to-DVD movie released this week, this TV Addict thinks he’s discovered what NBC/Universal’s ultimate plan was: To FRAK us fans by milking as much money as they can from the franchise with a glorified clip show. Not cool.

The CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM controversy.
InsideCatholic.com’s Dean Hudson is entitled to his opinion. Which is why, if he really found Larry David’s ridiculous antics on Sunday’s CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM — that had David’s potent stream of urine inadvertently splash-back on a painting of Jesus Christ — offensive, rather than the absurdist and ridiculous humour that it was, so be it. But what really grinds our gears is Mr. Hudson’s statement to (surprise!) FOX News, in which he blasts the show by arguing that, “If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions — Jewish or Muslim — there’d be a huge outcry. It’s simply not a level playing field.” Which begs the question, has Mr. Hudson ever watched CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM? Surely, if he had, he’d have recognized that not only is no subject safe from Larry David (Who earlier this season spent an entire episode strategizing ways in which to dump his Cancer stricken-girlfriend), but the show itself isn’t exactly a glowing advertisement for us Jews.

Media outlets prognosticating show’s fates, TOO SOON!
Yes, we get it. Not every show will survive to the fall (RIP: TRAUMA). But you know what certainly doesn’t help? Media outlets such as TVGuide, The Hollywood Reporter among others taking it upon themselves to cancel shows less than two months into the Fall season! Frankly, articles like this morning’s TVGuide piece which asks “Is Your Favorite Show on the Bubble” or The Live Feed’s “Survival Report” do nothing yet hurt the industry as a whole by continuing to perpetuate the already far too accepted stereotype that Network TV as we know it is doomed. Sure shows like THE FORGOTTEN, DOLLHOUSE and FRINGE aren’t exactly doing great, but by continuing to hammer that fact home, media outlets are really doing nothing but hurt shows further. After-all, who really wants to tune into EASTWICK after TVGuide has all but cancelled it on their website. Or to put it in terms the media industry might appreciate a little more, does The Hollywood Reporter really want to play the ‘which print magazine won’t be around this time next year’ game? Didn’t think so.

THE JAY LENO SHOW.
‘Nuff Said.

To enter to win THE PLAN, which tells the uncut and uncensored (FYI: They’re really not joking about uncensored, but more on that later) story of humanity’s futuristic fight for survival through the eyes of their deadly adversaries, the Cylons. Simply let us know in the comments below your best guess for what exactly ‘The Plan’ is. (Outside of NBC/Universal’s obvious one that involves milking this franchise for every dollar it can!)

One lucky entrant will be chosen at random and notified via email on November 3, 2009, so please be sure to enter with a valid email address. Not a winner? BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN is now available on Amazon for only $16.99.

Dear Universal Studios Home Entertainment,

While we at theTVaddict.com continue to be grateful to you for allowing the likes of Ronald D. Moore and Jane Espenson to tell stories in the form of direct-to-DVD movies such as CAPRICA and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN — would it be too much to ask for you to hire a graphic designer who doesn’t phone it in? I mean seriously, we get that in these troubling economic times you’re probably looking to cut down on costs and more likely that not aren’t spending your work days swimming ‘Scrooge McDuck’ style in a vault full of money. But come’on — the box art for CAPRICA and THE PLAN — we can’t see the difference, can you?

Sincerely,
The TV Addict

SyFy: Imagine Greater Less Boobies
One thing that won’t be coming with CAPRICA when it makes the jump from DVD to basic cable in January is the gratuitous nudity. That said, Moore does promise that when SyFy does rebroadcast the premiere, they’re planning to insert some new never-before seen goodies of presumably the non-nude variety. Joked fellow producer David Eick, “FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS’ Jeffrey Reimer, who directed the pilot is known in the business for the speed in which he works. Yet somehow, on the days when he had to shoot the lesbian topless dancers… everybody’s standing around looking at their watch with Reimer saying, ‘Let me try and get one more shot!’”

THE PLAN = Awesome
After you watch the Edward James Olmos directed, Jane Espensen penned BATTLESTAR GALACTICA movie THE PLAN — which tells the story of BSG from the Cylon perspective — you will want to go back and watch the entire series over again. “My hat is off Ron Moore, David Eick and Jane Espensen for creating a piece of artistic work that actually breathes new life into the series,” revealed Olmos. Adding, ” I can guarantee you this will not be the last BATTLESTAR GALACTICA movie, It’s gonna be so successful it will rock their [NBC Universal, who produces the series] pants off.”

Edward James Olmos has a plan of his very own
One that we’ve already titled, purchased the domain for and trademarked “Admiral Adama: After the Finale.” Joked the actor, “When you next see Adama, he’s living in a rusty log cabin and there is a knock on his door. It’s his old friend Col. Tigh saying, ‘We have a problem.’ And the journey begins.”

It’s CAPRICA, Not a daytime soap
In fact, if you must compare CAPRICA to something, why not Buffy? At least according to BUFFY vet Jane Espensen who gave a shout out to her BUFFY peeps in her why-you-should-give-CAPRICA-a-chance sales pitch, “There’s a tiny essence of Buffy in CAPRICA. We’ve got ourselves an angry teenager and a robot. I think BUFFY fans will find something there.”

The mysterious, the enigmatic, the press shy Michael Hogan is a mystery no more. For the actor, who famously shunned interviews and conventions during the course of his critically acclaimed four seasons stint playing BATTLESTAR GALACITCA’s Col. Saul Tigh for fear that it would dilute the power of his performance is now doing a victory lap on the convention circuit as a thank you to his most important critics, the fans. Which is where this TV Addict had the privilege of catching up with him, at this weekend’s Polaris Convention 23 in beautiful Toronto Canada and why we’re thrilled to be able to bring you 10 things you might not have known about BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Star Michael Hogan.

He almost didn’t bother auditioning for the role: “I hadn’t seen the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, so when I found out they were doing it [the re-imagined series] I wasn’t really interested in it,” explained Hogan, who credits director Michael Rymer for even getting him into the audition room. “I saw Angel Baby, an independent film out of Australia and it was an amazing film.”

He was almost too Canadian for the role: “Americans don’t like the Canadian accent and the powers that be thought I was too Canadian for the role.” joked Hogan who revealed that after a few seasons the producers relaxed bit. “Lucy Lawless, James Callis, they [the producers] really eased up as the series wore on.”

He always knew BATTLESTAR GALACTICA would work: Said Hogan on the moment early on that he knew the show was going to in fact turn out to be something special. “The first day of principal photography was the funeral after the attack in the miniseries and we were shooting the scene where Adama stands up in the eulogy and says we have to be responsible for what we create. It took forever to shoot this, we were waiting for hours and hours, all these coffins, everybody in the cast, all the background performers — it took time to set up. When we finally started shooting the first thing we shot was Adam’s speech where Eddie [James Olmos] at the end says ‘So say we all.’ So we say ‘So say we all!’ Eddie says it again, ‘So say we all!’… pause… everybody looks around at each-other and we say it again, ‘So say we all!’ Eddie kept going until we had shivers. The producers didn’t know what was happening, the intensity, the sincerity, that really set the mark and Eddie was responsible for that.

He isn’t afraid to speak his mind: “I totally disagreed with the writer’s decision to send Saul down to the planet.” explained Hogan, who argued based upon a book he was reading that a career soldier such as Tigh would never abandon his post to colonize New Caprica. “I remember Moore [Executive Producer Ronald D. Moore] was like, ‘I didn’t know Hogan was that smart’ and look at the arc that they wrote for Tigh. I’m so proud of the whole series, but particularly that body of work that we did on the planet.”

He wasn’t thrilled [initially] upon discovering that he was a cylon: “When we first stated shooting the early episodes I often watched Grace Park walk around talking to herself and thought, ‘God, I’m glad I’m not a Cylon!’, said Hogan, citing the fact that he’s a very research based actor and how do you research that. Only to eventually come around after Ronald D. Moore, who Hogan calls “a total class act” flew up to Vancouver to talk him through it, figuring, “they haven’t steered me wrong yet. In fact, I’m honored as an actor that they choose Tigh.”

Killing Ellen Tigh wasn’t easy: “On the day we were killing Ellen I stayed in my trailer. The assistant director would knock on my door and bring me on set and I said, ‘Don’t bring me on set until we’re set and ready to go.’ A couple times a that day I’d go to set and they weren’t ready and it’s not like me, but I turned around and said, ‘Call me when you’re rolling.’ recounted Hogan on the difficult day on set.

Credits his success to the fact nobody knows who he was: “The series opened with that wonderful scene in the armistice, where you see Number Six, this gorgeous thing.” recalled Hogan, who credits much of the show’s success to the anonymity of the cast. “If that was an actress that you already knew, you’d be thinking ‘Boy, she’s sure good in this part.’” But back then, nobody knew Katee [Sackhoff], Tricia [Helfer] or Grace [Park]. My goal has always been to be journeyman actor because there’s a danger if you get too exposed.”

Starbuck is his constant: Although Hogan was quick to point out that Tigh is definitely not a people person, “Starbuck is the one I’d want by my side in battle, every-time.”

His favorite scenes are flashbacks: “Because I’ve got two eyes!” said Hogan who revealed, “that as an actor, especially on a show like BATTLESTAR GALACTICA where the shooters come right in — You’re taking 50% of my tools away!”

He needs a job: Memo to showrunners prepping their sked for the Fall, Michael Hogan is ready and waiting. “Having done BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, career wise it’s little bit confusing. Because I’m a Canadian actor and not based in the states, people think I’m working all the time.” explained Hogan. “I audition now constantly. For FRINGE and other Sci Fi shows and don’t get the roles. I didn’t get one on a show called PSYCH which was funny, because I auditioned for a Canadian RCMP guy in his 60’s with a tough sense of humor. I mean he’s Canadian with a Canadian accent and I thought, ‘won’t it be hilarious if i don’t get this.’ And of course, I went and auditioned and didn’t get it! Which certainly keeps my humility in tact.”

Seriously, really different
Which means don’t hold your breath for the epic space-battles that became standard with some of the most memorable episodes of BSG. “There are no Cylons coming to destroy Galactica and the fate of humanity doesn’t hang in the balance each and every week.” re-iterated Moore. “I’m fascinated by stories about people and you either love these character and you want to follow them every week and see what they do next [or you don't!]”

It’s FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (in the future!)
And who better to get audiences invested in the denizens of Caprica than Jeffrey Reimer, the critically acclaimed director of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS who Moore and co-producer David Eick went out of their way to single out (alongside co-write Remi Aubuchon) in their opening remarks at Monday’s Paley event for setting the tone of the series. Added actress Paula Malcomson who plays CAPRICA’s Amanda Graystone, “He [Reimer] had enough cameras sort of positioned so that all the self-consciousness of performance went away. As opposed to doing a master and a close-up, we had all that and it was like creating a play and really working and really doing a scene instead of, you know, we’ve done 13 of those and how was that one and was my close-up good. So it took all the math out of acting. It was really real.”

When in Rome
Further setting CAPRICA apart from its predecessor is that it requires absolute zero knowledge of prior BSG mythology. If you’re one of the many who think a toaster, is well, an actual toaster… don’t worry! Explained Moore, “I never say never, but the intention of CAPRICA is really to make it its own show, a series that stands on its own, that is part of this larger universe but is not predicated on knowledge of, or love of, the original. That was very important to us.” Added Eick, “The connections to BATTLESTAR should be subtle, ‘easter egg’ like, fun but not imperative, to understanding the show.” In other-words, joked showrunner Jane Espenson, fans should not be holding their breath for a surprise appearance by Col. Tigh’s father!

And finally, there’s no rush
Sure, NBC Universal would certainly like you to run out and buy/download CAPRICA right away, but the fact of the matter is that there’s really no rush. Especially since Sci Fi SyFy does not plan on premiering the actual series until early 2010. Which means moments after you jump fof your couch and shout, “Holy Frak! What happens next?” following an epically cool final act… it will quickly dawn on you that ‘next’ won’t happen for a minimum of nine months.

For a complete recap of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA/CAPRICA Paley Festival Event, click here.

For the love of the Gods, before you press play on that just purchased copy of CAPRICA, why not take a moment to ensure the series gets off on the right foot by joining executive producers David Eick and Ronald D. Moore in a pre-screening libation, a tradition that goes back to the first initial bow of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA mini-series.

“We were very careful in those days to do it in private because we had a lot of dignity and a lot of self-respect,” revealed Eick mere moments before the curtain fell on CAPRICA at last night’s Paley Festival event honoring both BSG and CAPRICA. “But that’s all changed now.”

So with that in mind, grab your shot of tequila (or for our underage readers, may we responsibly suggest a shot of milk… we hear it does a body good!), press play on the video above, and toast CAPRICA on what will hopefully be the start of a beautiful four, five or fifty-eight season relationship.

So say we all.

As promised, Friday’s sixth episode of DOLLHOUSE didn’t disappoint. Please tell me it wasn’t an aberration. — DrunkonDushku
The TV Addict: Rest assured, it wasn’t. With Whedon’s winning streak continuing this Friday when he reveals more of Echo’s backstory by sending her on a mission back to the very College campus that we’ve become accustomed to catching glimpses of in the mysterious ‘Caroline’ video. Fans will also learn how Sierra ended up in the Dollhouse, when she confronts the man responsible for putting her there (and trust me, it ain’t pretty.) Oh, and as for the big reveal that there are twenty or so Dollhouses strategically located around the world, Whedon joked on a recent conference call that it’s built-in franchising. In other-words, get ready for DOLLHOUSE: MIAMI!

What’s the word on tonight’s GOSSIP GIRL? — GossipGuy
The TV Addict: Does “ZZZZZZzzzzzz” count as a word? Because unfortunately, that is my reaction to tonight’s snooze-inducing Nate-centric story-line. Seriously. If the Dollhouse ever needs another pretty-boy to walk around with a vapid and emotionless expression on his face, Chace Crawford is their man. So much so that not even an inebriated and highly entertaining secret-spilling Blair could save tonight’s train-wreck of an episode.

Loved Friday’s episode of TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR chronicles, how about you? — LenaLikey
The TV Addict: You mean the one where John Connor finally grew a pair. No exaggeration, scenes like John’s confrontation with Jesse are why PVR’s were invented (Well, that and because it allowed me to attend my BSG Frakkin’ Finale Party worry-free.) John’s transformation from petulant emo-boy was long overdue and I for one loved getting to see a glimpse of the young man who has finally started to demonstrate that he has what it takes to fight for humanity’s future. A fight, which by the way, just got a whole lot more interesting with Friday’s future-reveal that not all robots are on the same side.

Any scoop on Rob Thomas’ CUPID re-boot? I loved the original and am cautiously optimistic about this new version. — Neptune4Eva
The TV Addict: Having completely missed the boat on the original CUPID starring Jeremy Piven and Paula Marshall I unfortunately can’t speak to how the two versions compare. What I can say, having just watched the pilot (premiering Tuesday March 31 on ABC) is that the new Bobby Cannavale and Sarah Paulson version is flirty, fun and the perfect fit on ABC, which outside of LOST is quickly becoming the CW for the older-skewing female set.

Since I’m far too lazy to read through your lengthy recap of Friday’s BATTLESTAR GALACTICA series finale, nutshell it for me: Loved it or loathed it? —HolyFrakitsOver
The TV Addict: Honestly, I’m torn. Because as much as I’m a complete sucker for a happy ending, I can’t help but feel that the one we got was an absolute betrayal of everything creator Ronald D. Moore had spent four years meticulously crafting. In one fowl swoop, the dark tone and mantra that life isn’t fair, there are no easy choices and sh*t happens was wiped away, as he took the easy way out and ended off the show with virtually every series regular alive. Joss Whedon he ain’t (and yes, we’re still reeling from [SERENITY SPOILER ALERT] Wash’s death.)

Is [you know who] really dead on BIG LOVE? — LoveAddict
The TV Addict: If this were your average run-of-the-mill television series, I would say that there is no way BIG LOVE would kill off their show’s Arvin Sloane equivalent. After-all, in television, a good guy like Bill Henrickson is only as entertaining as the villain in which he’s forced to bring down. That said, as the saying goes: it’s not TV, it’s HBO. So if I must put my money where my mouth is. Roman is 100% unequivocally dead (although I’m not about to rule out the return of Harry Dean Stanton in ghost form!)

Any word on NBC’s new Amy Poehler series PARKS & RECREATION? April 9th can’t come soon enough. — DunderMifflinDenizen
The TV Addict: Actually, it can. At least according to Nikki Finke who is reporting that a recent test screening of the pilot did not go well. With audiences characterizing the series premiere as “slow,” “tedious” and a “predictable carbon copy” of THE OFFICE. Which brings us to my completely uninformed take having not had the chance to watch the pilot: If NBC didn’t currently find itself teetering in fourth place among the major networks, PARKS & RECREATION would not have been rushed to make a spring premiere.

Obsessed Amy Acker fan here. What have you got for me? — AckerFanGirl21
The TV Addict: I’ve got good news for you because you are not alone. Turns out, Joss Whedon shares your love of both Acker and the character she plays on DOLLHOUSE. Revealing on a recent conference call that, “I love that character, not just because it’s Amy Acker, but because she wears misery and torture on her face literally. We will definitely learn how she came to this fabulous career and in the last few episodes, we get to turn the Acker up pretty hot and it’s very exciting.”

I don’t have a question, but just wanted to say how much I agree with your recent tweet that said, “Just finished watching Friday’s FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. How this isn’t the most popular show on television I’ll never understand!” — Cleareyesfullhearts
The TV Addict: I know right? Between the Taylor’s dealing with Matt and Julie’s off-the-field extra-curriculers, Tyra finally giving something back to Landry, Momma McCoy allowing J.D. to escape from under the tyrannical grasp of his overbearing father and Garitty-Gate ‘09, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS is truly firing on all cylinders. Begging the question, why aren’t you watching?

Well that about wraps it up folks for this edition of “Ask the Addict.” if you’ve got a question for the TV Addict, you can email me directly at ask@thetvaddict.com or follow me on twitter at twitter.com/thetvaddict.

Regardless of whether you thought last night’s BATTLESTAR GALACTICA series finale was “Frakkin’ Fantastic!” or the biggest letdown since THE SOPRANOS faded-to-black, I think there is one thing all fans (be them human or Cylon) can agree upon. Ronald D. Moore Frakked us again by giving us the most unexpected ending of all: A relatively happy one.

So before we get into our very own post-finale-data-stream-of-consciousness, we wanted to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Moore for not only delivering a thrilling and emotional ending that will be debated both online and off for years to come. But for providing fans with four seasons of remarkable stories, characters that we will never forget, and best of all, a spin-off (CAPRICA) that’s coming to DVD in less than a month (Seriously, thank the Gods!)

Our story begins back on Caprica before the attack. Or as we like to call it, our least favorite aspect of the entire three-part series finale. Because as much as we applaud Ronald D. Moore for caring enough to ensure fans have enough material to keep the BSG fan-fiction machine going for a good decade or so (Starbuck, Lee and Zak Adama have a little too much to drink… it practically writes itself!), we’re not exactly sure as to what these flashbacks added to the overall story. Especially since we’re already more than a little aware that Kara Thrace was destined for something more and that Adama and Tigh are, with apologies to J.D. and Turk, television’s most memorable bromance.

So we’ll move on to the crew prepping for what would most likely would be their final mission. Which oddly enough, started out on a very uncharacteristic lighter note: With Roslin telling Doc Coddle as he struggles to hold back the tears (in a much deserved final scene for actor Donnelly Rhodes) “Don’t spoil your image, just light a cigarette and go and grumble.” Adama informing his crew that after they run out of bullets they should, “start throwing rocks.” Helo commending his pilot’s dedication, “That’s my Raptor wranglers, always looking for new and interesting ways to get killed.” And Tigh as only Tigh can, letting Adama know that it’s, “still not to late to flush ‘em ['Cylons!] out of the airlock.” Add to that, surprise promotions for President Lampkin and Admiral Hoshi (WTF!?) and we’re fairly certain that BSG just set a record for the number of laughs in a single episode.

Of course, the laughter came to a screeching halt when Adama took a moment to do what he does best: Rally the troops for the very last time, “This is the Admiral. Just so there will be no misunderstandings later. Galactica has seen a lot of history, gone through a lot of battles. This will be her last. She will not fail us… if we do not fail her. If we succeed in our mission, Galactica will bring us home. If we don’t, it doesn’t matter anyways.” Needless to say, we’re not ashamed to admit that we totally mumbled “So Say We All” under our breath. Did you?

Cue ridiculously epic space battle that doesn’t really translate well into words. Suffice to say, we now know where 95% of the season’s special effects budget went to: The Hera Rescue Mission. Not only do the rarely-seen Cylon models of ‘Simon’ and ‘Doral’ get to make an appearance. But we were treated to big budget explosions! Toasters versus Toasters! Never-before-scene cannon fire! Raiders! Raptors! Balter in military fatigues! Did we mention Explosions?! And the Galactica itself serving as a battering ram to quite literally rip into the heart of the Cylon home world in an effort to rescue Hera. Holy Frak, It was awesome.

That is until the ‘Opera House.’ Which we’re just going to say, is where the show loses us. Because in our mind, mythical visions are a lazy plot device that completely remove us from the reality of the show. Are we seriously to believe that two seasons ago, when the Opera House was first introduced, Ronald D. Moore and Co. knew that everything Roslin, Caprica Six, Baltar and Sharon saw was all tied into rescuing Hera from the Cylons? Because we’re sorry, we’re not buying it. Even if it worked out perfectly so that Caprica Six and Baltar saved Hera… just in time for Cavil to kidnap her again. D’oh!

Which brings us Baltar’s big speech. Was anyone else waiting for Cavil to be capped in the head as Baltar endlessly blathered on? No. Okay then, moving on to the world’s shortest truce (which is agreed upon when the Final Five agree to give Cavil the key to Resurrection in exchange for Hera) and our favorite sequence of the entire finale. Yes, you know where we’re going with this. The one where Tyrol loses completely loses his mind, eye-popping and all, after ’seeing’ Tory’s “little secret.” End Truce.

Not willing to risk a moment, Tyrol takes a page from Homer Simpson and strangles Tory to death. More fighting ensues, with Cavil taking the cowards way out by offing himself, while a dead Raptor pilot inexplicably blows up the Cylon home world forcing Adama to yells to Kara, “there must be some kind of way out of here.” Okay, not exactly, but get us out of here Kara does. With the now iconic “All Along the Watchtower” theme informing her to piece together the exact co-ordinates to Earth2 . Which by the way, is the type of plot thread coming together that we love.

And with that, the crew finally arrives at a place called home. The audience (at our BSG Frakkin’ Finale Party) went nuts. As it really was the perfect place to end the show. Or so we thought….

Because as it turned out, there were still forty minutes remaining in the episode. Which means we’re about to get BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: The Big Goodbye.

Let the backlash begin. Or at the very least the half-lash. Because if you’re anything like us, Earth2 (not to be confused with the short-lived NBC science fiction series of the same name) was a mixed bag of loved it or loathed it moments.

But let’s start off with the love shall we. Because who on earth would begrudge Adama and Roslin’s beautiful swan song? Their final flight, particularly when Adama removed Roslin’s ring and put it on his finger was emotionally poignant and absolutely heartbreaking. Especially after it became apparent that Adama was not going to pull a Cavil by setting a collision course directly for the nearest mountain,

Ellen got her wish, which was to simply be with Saul (again, thank the Gods the flashback made that clear). While Tyrol after being betrayed by seemingly everyone he had ever loved choose to take the road less traveled (literally) by going off and living by himself. Not exactly what we would have chosen, but hey, our girlfriend didn’t turn out to be a Cylon and our dearly-departed wife didn’t cheat on us and lie about her Baby-Daddy.

As for Hera, Athena and Helo, well they got to live happily-ever-after. Which we’re not going to lie, is quite the shocker considering we completely expected Ronald D. Moore would take a page from the Joss Whedon playbook and have Helo sacrifice himself to save his family.

Of course here are where things get complicated. Did Balter really redeem himself after years and years of only acting in his own self-interest, not to mention being partially responsible for the annihilation of an entire civilization? Not in our books.

And since we have absolutely no explanation for what the deal with Kara “Starbuck” Thrace was, we thought we’d turn it over to Ronald D. Moore himself, who had this to say in a post-finale interview with the Star-Ledger’s Alan Spinwall. “Kara, I think, is whatever you want her to be. It’s easy to put that label on her: Angel, or Messenger of God, or whatever. Kara Thrace died and was resurrected and came back and took the people to their final end. That was her role, her destiny on the show… We debated back and forth in the writers’ room for a while on giving it more definition, and saying, definitively, “This is what she is,” and we decided that the more you try to outline it and give voice to it and put a name on it, the less interesting it became. We just decided this was the most interesting way to go out, with her disappearing without trying to name what she was. ”

Which just about wraps it up.

Except that we quickly jump 150,00 years into the future where Head Baltar and Head Six debate (alongside a cameo by Ronald D. Moore himself) as to whether humanity (that’s us!) will once again be the architects of our own demise. Then, in case we didn’t already get the connection that “all of this will happen before, and all of this will happen again,” the camera camera pans over to a television screen showing an MSNBC report about the prevalence of artificial intelligence in Japan…. just so you know, we know whom to blame when all of this that happened before, happens again.

THE END (For Real)