You’ve seen the commercials. You’ve heard the hype. Now there’s only one thing you want to know: Which of the new fall shows are worth watching and which should be avoided at all costs? In this continuing series, we give you the scoop on some of the most highly-anticipated shows of the season. Which will be the next GREY’S ANATOMY… and which will be the new JOEY? Next up, proof that ABC’s comedy development paid off with a first look at MODERN FAMILY.

Why We’ll Watch: Shot in the now all too familiar documentary style, MODERN FAMILY is ABC’s answer to THE OFFICE and what you get when you marry a ridiculously smart script from veteran scribes Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd (JUST SHOOT ME, BACK TO YOU) with a cast of immensely likable actors including Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell (Who play a married couple with three kids), Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet (Playing a gay couple on their way home from Vietnam having just adopted a baby) and Ed O’Neill and Sofa Vergara (Who play newlyweds with more than a few years in between them).

What We’ll Fast Forward Through: Absolutely nothing! In fact, if you’re anything like this TV Addict, the only button you’ll be reaching for is the rewind button. In order to re-watch laugh-out-loud moments courtesy of Ty Burrell’s self-proclaimed “cool dad” who likes to illustrate said coolness by re-enacting scenes from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL for his mortified brood and a twist ending that is guaranteed to have you not only smiling, but quite possibly singing as well.

Watch Live or DVR: Both! Because MODERN FAMILY is proof positive that ABC, the home of genre-defining ratings juggernauts such as ROSEANNE and HOME IMPROVEMENT is still capable of developing what is sure to be a lasting comedy that doesn’t feature some fat guy named Jim.

RELATED:
Fall Preview 09: THE GOOD WIFE
Fall Preview 09: MELROSE PLACE

An attempt to make sense of ABC’s “thrilling limited series” IMPACT (debuts Sunday at 9 p.m. est and concludes the following Sunday) would be to court serious depression. Running three hours over two nights, it’s so impressively horrible that there just isn’t enough room here to detail all of its failures.

Like many an Apocalypse Cometh TV movies, it opens calmly: people around the world gather in their backyards to witness a meteor shower seen only every 10,000 years. Among these meteors is a brown dwarf, or dead star, which unceremoniously crashes into the moon, sending debris our way and the moon off its natural orbit. It is later discovered by Dr. Maddie Rhodes (ELI STONE’s exceptionally wooden Natasha Hentrsidge) that the moon is set to crash into the earth – and wipe us all out – in 39 days.

She recruits former colleagues – college professor Alex Kittner (JAG’s David James Elliott) and German scientist Roland Emerson (Benjamin Sadler) – to join her global think tank to try to prevent a collision. With a blessing from the president, played willfully incompetent by DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ Stephen Culp, the team works up a cockamamie plan that involves staring very intensely into computer screens and painfully melodramatic exchanges between characters.

There are a lot of shots of computer simulations – of graphs, charts, and diagrams, all of which manage to be more dazzling than the special effects and acting combined. The scientists are so steeped in scientific jargon that the actors share the same blank expression, one that reads: I haven’t the faintest idea what I just said. And apparently, space sounds a lot like the Jurassic Park soundtrack. At multiple points in the movie the moon gets close enough that some areas experience momentary weightlessness – the novelty eradicated by the fact that digital flight is still so goofy looking.

Disaster flicks like this are supposed to be illogical enough that you know not to take them seriously, but unlike Armageddon – from which IMPACT draws heavily – it really doesn’t seem to care at all to make these characters worth cheering for, much worry about.

They’re either dumb or motivated by a self-interest that borders on encroaching cynicism: David James Elliott’s widower Alex is reluctant to join Dr. Rhodes in Washington because he’s worried that his kids aren’t ready since his wife’s death. How she convinces him is disheartening: “You’ll be written in the same context as Newton or Einstein!” How about: “The moon is going to crash into the earth”?

And my favorite: while being briefed on the status of the moon, Director of Homeland Security Renee Ferguson (The 4400’s Samantha Ferris) confesses, “I can’t even answer the questions on ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?” Really? Then how are you the director of Homeland Security?

A side plot involving James Cromwell as a curmudgeonly grandpa who’s a whiz with a cane and Alex’s offensively precocious kids does not help, especially with this winning piece of dialogue: “Jake said a meteor killed all the dinosaurs, and that if I don’t clean his room, an even bigger one is gonna hit us.” If only. Grade: D-

Part I of IMPACT airs Sunday June 21 at 9PM on ABC, and concludes the following Sunday June 29

The end of an era that should never have begun.

At 9PM eastern standard time, ACCORDING TO JIM will illicit its last laugh (or lack-their of) after eight years of refusing to die. And in honor of this momentous occasion, theTVaddict.com thought it might be fun (or as it turns out, incredibly depressing) to look at what could have been as we present our list of shows that ACCORDING TO JIM outlived. Some good (8 SIMPLE RULES), some bad (BOB PATTERSON), but all with one thing in common. According to us, they were all more deserving of a spot on the schedule than JIM*

COMEDY**
8 SIMPLE RULES
BIG DAY
BOB PATTERSON
CARPOOLERS
CAVEMEN
COMPLETE SAVAGES
CRUMBS
DHARMA & GREG
THE DREW CAREY SHOW
EMILY’S REASONS WHY NOT
FREDDIE
GEORGE LOPEZ
HELP ME HELP YOU
HOPE & FAITH
HOT PROPERTIES
I’M WITH HER
IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
IN THE MOTHERHOOD
IT’S ALL RELATIVE
JAKE IN PROGRESS
THE JOB
THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY
LESS THAN PERFECT
LIFE WITH BONNIE
MARRIED TO THE KELLYS
MISS GUIDED
MY WIFE AND KIDS
THE PROUD FAMILY
SAMANTHA WHO?
SONS & DAUGHTERS
SPIN CITY

DRAMA**
ALIAS
BIG SHOTS
BLIND JUSTICE
BOSTON LEGAL
COMMANDER IN CHIEF
CUPID
DAY BREAK
DIRTY SEXY MONEY
ELI STONE
EYES
IN JUSTICE
INVASION
KAREN SISCO
L.A. DRAGNET
LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
LIFE ON MARS
LINE ON FIRE
MEN IN TREES
MONK
NIGHT STALKER
NYPD BLUE
OCTOBER ROAD
ONCE AND AGAIN
PHILLY
PUSHING DAISIES
PUSH, NEVADA
THE DAYS
THE EVIDENCE
THE NINE
THE PRACTICE
THE UNUSUALS
THREAT MATRIX
WHAT ABOUT BRIAN
WOMEN’S MURDER CLUB

* With the possible exception of CAVEMEN
** Orange denotes shows we LOVED, thanks for nothing JIM

THE DEEP END
According to the official ABC description: Sterling Law is one of L.A.’s most prestigious law firms. Each year it recruits four new young lawyers from the finest law schools worldwide. It will nurture, guide and shape these recruits into the best damned lawyers they can possibly be — or else.

According to this TV Addict: It’s GREY’S ANATOMY meets L.A. LAW. Which is something we’d usually be far more critical of, except for the fact that these lawyers include JACK & BOBBY’S Matt Long! VERONICA MARS’ Tina Majorino! TITANIC’s Billy Zane! And Broadway’s Norbert Leo Butz! (TV Addict note: Gratuitous use of exclamation marks denotes our off-the-charts level of excitement for this series)

COUGAR TOWN
According to the official ABC description: Co-executive produced by Courteney Cox and Bill Lawrence (SCRUBS), COUGAR TOWN is the single-camera comedy that dares to tell the truth about dating after divorce. Juggling a teenage son with her thriving career and budding love life isn’t easy, but before you know it, Jules will have you cheering, “Go Cougars!” 

According to the TV Addict: While we’re certainly not cheering for this cliché-ridden preview, we are willing to give any Bill Lawrence show the old college. Especially one that features an ex-FRIEND (Cox) and ALIENS IN AMERICA alum Dan Byrd in starring roles.

FLASH FORWARD
According to the official ABC description: A mysterious global event causes everyone to black out simultaneously for two minutes and seventeen seconds, and each person sees a glimpse of their lives six months from now. When they wake up, everyone is left wondering if what they saw will actually happen. 

According to this TV Addict: While creators David Goyer (THE DARK KNIGHT) and Brandon Braga (STAR TREK, 24) certainly have the proven track-record to make this high concept serialized drama work, this TV Addict can’t help but feel that ABC should have pressed pause on what will surely be a mythology-laden show until LOST ends its run next season.

HANK
According to the official ABC description: Sometimes scaling back is the best way to get ahead. Wall Street legend Hank Pryor (Kelsey Grammer) and his wife Tilly have been living the high life in New York City. That is until Hank is forced out of his CEO job and has to move his family back home to the small town of River Bend.

According to this TV Addict:  If Kelsey Grammer insists on playing yet another variation of his now iconic FRASIER character, the least he could do is bring co-stars David Hyde Pierce, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin and John Mahoney to up the LPM [Laughs per minute].

HAPPY TOWN
According to the official ABC description: From the executive producers of OCTOBER ROAD and LIFE ON MARS, comes the enthralling new drama, HAPPY TOWN. In the sleepy little hamlet of Haplin, Minnesota, not all secrets have been put to rest. 

According to this TV Addict: It’s what OCTOBER ROAD might have looked like if Physical Phil turned out to be a crazed killer. Color us intrigued.

THE MIDDLE
According to the official ABC description: Forget about athletes, movie stars and politicians. Parents are the real heroes — but Frankie Heck (Patricia Heaton), well she’s some kind of superhero. A loving wife and mother of three, she’s middle class in the middle of the country and is rapidly approaching middle age. 

According to this TV Addict: Patricia Heaton is no Jane Kaczmarek and if you’re asking us to choose between MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE retreads, our vote, with apologies to SCRUBS’ Janitor (Neil Flynn) goes to FOX’s SONS OF TUCSON.

EASTWICK
According to the official ABC description: Single-handedly, housewives accomplish astonishing things… and together, watch out. In the seaside village of Eastwick, this might just be evidence of their inner-witch rising to the surface. 

According to this TV Addict: Desperate Housewitches, really? Is it too late to bring back LIPSTICK JUNGLE?

V
According to the official ABC description: Today, the world woke up to find spaceships over every major city. The Visitors claim to have come in peace, bringing gifts of medical miracles and technological breakthroughs. They promise to do no harm. They’re lying.

According to this TV Addict: Professionalism be damned… OMG! OMG! OMG!

THE FORGOTTEN (Check back soon for a preview)
According to the official ABC description: Gone but not forgotten. That’s what they say. But what if a killer took your life — and your name? Every city has its share of unidentified murder victims. When standard police procedure fails to give them a name, that’s when the Identity Network steps in. 

According to this TV Addict: THE FORGOTTEN gets are pick for the fall’s most accurately titled show as come November, forgotten is exactly what this generic Jerry Bruckheimer procedural will be.

MODERN FAMILY (Check back soon for a preview)
According to the official ABC description: When the Pritchett, Delgado and Dunphy families agree to be interviewed by a documentary crew, they have no idea just how much they’re about to reveal about themselves. Jay Pritchett met the stunning Colombian Gloria when she bartended in a bikini at the pool party he threw for himself the day his wife left him.

Now Jay and Gloria are married and Jay tries hard to keep up with his much younger and hotter wife and her passionate teenage son, Manny. Claire Delgado is having a hard time raising her own family. Her husband Phil is great, except for the fact that he thinks he’s “down” with their teenage kids, much to their embarrassment. Mitchell Dunphy and his enthusiastic partner Cameron have just adopted Lily, a precious little baby girl from Vietnam. This engaging new comedy offers a ‘mockumentary’ view into the complicated, messy, loving life of three unique families.

According to this TV Addict: Although we have yet to see the official trailer for MODERN FAMILY, we’re finding very little not to love about THE OFFICE: Family edition.

Adding to the already solid lineup which include the inexplicable ratings juggernaut that is DANCING WITH THE STARS, CASTLE, GREY’S ANATOMY, PRIVATE PRACTICE, UGLY BETTY, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and BROTHERS & SISTERS are a slew of high profile new Wednesday night comedies which include Kelsey Grammer’s HANK, Patricia Heaton’s THE MIDDLE, Ed O’Neill’s MODERN FAMILY and Courteney Cox’s COUGAR TOWN. Also on for the fall is the Jerry Bruckheimer procedural THE FORGOTTEN, the high concept sci-fi series FLASH FORWARD and EASTWICK based on the popular movie THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK.

Being held for midseason are returning favorites LOST, SCRUBS, BETTER OFF TED and THE BACHELOR alongside new offerings V (a re-boot of the 80’s classic) and HAPPY TOWN (a small town murder mystery from the brains behind LIFE ON MARS and OCTOBER ROAD).

Full schedule after the jump with “Snap Judgements” following ABC’s upfront presentation later in the day.

MONDAY
8:00 PM: DANCING WITH THE STARS
10:00 PM: CASTLE

TUESDAY
8:00 PM: SHARK TANK
9:00 PM: DANCING WITH THE STARS RESULTS SHOW
10:00 PM: THE FORGOTTEN

WEDNESDAY
8:00 PM: HANK
8:30 PM: THE MIDDLE
9:00 PM: MODERN FAMILY
9:30 PM: COUGAR TOWN
10:00 PM: EASTWICK

THURSDAY
8:00 PM: FLASH FORWARD
9:00 PM: GREY’S ANATOMY
10:00 PM: PRIVATE PRACTICE

FRIDAY
8:00 PM: SUPERNANNY
9:00 PM: UGLY BETTY
10:00 PM: 20/20

SATURDAY
8:00 PM: SATURDAY NIGHT COLLEGE FOOTBALL

SUNDAY
7:00 PM: AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS
8:00 PM: EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION
9:00 PM: DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
10:00 PM: BROTHERS & SISTERS

HUGE UNBELIEVABLE BREAKING NEWS! Michael Ausiello (@EWAusielloFiles) just gave theTVaddict.com a huge shout-out on twitter by including us in his #followfriday alongside the unbelievably awesome @tvweek_joe @sepinwall @LATshowtracker and @tvguide.

What’s that? You were expecting actual television news, not ridiculous self-indulgent non-TV related announcements? Well, how’s this for must-read-TV: According to our new “Twitter-BFF” Ausiello, ABC has taken a page from FOX’s welcome new “Quality over Quantity” playbook (as demonstrated by their surprising DOLLHOUSE second season pick from earlier in the day) by renewing rating challenged fan favorites such as CASTLE, BETTER OFF TED and SCRUBS.

Also making headlines was the Alphabet’s pick up of Courteney Cox’s much buzzed about Bill Lawrence comedy COUGAR TOWN, the drama HAPPY TOWN (from the brains behind OCTOBER ROAD and LIFE ON MARS), the re-imagination of the 80’s Sci-Fi classic V, EASTWICK (an adaptation of the The Witches of Eastwick ) and the Jerry Bruckheimer-produced FORGOTTEN.

Don’t forget to stick with theTVaddict.com (@theTVaddict on twitter) for the latest up-to-date renewals, pickups, cancellations and scheduling announcements from next week’s 2009 Up Fronts. It’s gonna be one helluva exciting week. Stay tuned…

But before they do, theTVAddict.com editorial team, led by our very own Ken-Tucker-in-training Aleks Chan will be posting our wish list for what we’d like to see announced.

Thanks to established performers such as DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, GREY’S ANATOMY and LOST, not to mention the reality TV juggernaut that is DANCING WITH THE STARS, the Alphabet network managed to weather the storm that was the tumultuous season following the WGA strike fairly well. Especially considering that neither of its freshman series’ (LIFE ON MARS and OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS) drew many viewers (both of which have been canned), and none of its returning shows from the previous season (ELI STONE, DIRTY SEXY MONEY and PUSHING DAISIES) survived past December.

Which is why we’d like to see:
Two things. The successful launch of an exciting new drama series that doesn’t get cancelled after 13 episodes (read: A renewal for CASTLE) and something to laugh about (read: renewals for BETTER OFF TED and SCRUBS). Seriously. With ABC cornering the market on highly addictive and emotionally charged dramas that cater predominantly to women (see: The women of Wisteria Lane, the doctors of Seattle Grace and shirtless Sawyer on LOST), we at theTVaddict.com could really use 3 cc’s of funny (or at the very least, Nathan Fillion.) Especially since we’re still reeling from the horrific nature of PRIVATE PRACTICE’s season finale and dreading what may-or-may-not be the end of Izzie Stevens.

What We’ll Probably See:
Oddly enough, a fresh batch of comedies. With ABC, after over a decade of failing to replicate the success of ROSEANNE and HOME IMPROVEMENT finally deciding to make the half-hour laugher a priority by ordering 14(!) comedy pilots to contend for the fall. Many of which feature big name showrunners (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT’s Mitch Hurwitz! SCRUBS’ Bill Lawrence!) and even bigger-name stars (Courteney Cox Kelsey Grammer! Alyssa Milano! Jenna Elfman! Lauren Graham! Patricia Heaton!)

And if all else fails, watch for ABC to poach THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE from CBS should the Tiffany Network ax it in favor of their 27th procedural drama. Plus pickups for the murder mystery drama HAPPY TOWN and the Witches of Eastwick adaptation EASTWICK with ABC looking to inject some fresh young blood into their rapidly aging lineup of dramas.

Related: UpFront 2009 Predictions: NBC Edition

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the likes of veteran stars such as Nathan Fillion, Christina Applegate, Bob Saget, Bobby Cannivale, Megan Mullally and Harold Perrineau — all of whom will have to wait until ABC’s May 19th presentation in New York City to discover the official fate of SCRUBS, BETTER OFF TED, SAMANTHA WHO, IN THE MOTHERHOOD, THE UNUSUALS, CASTLE, SURVIVING SUBURBIA and CUPID.

That is, unless they want to sign on the dotted line to be the next star on DANCING WITH THE STARS, THE BACHELOR or SUPERNANNY, all of which got expected pick ups for yet another season of ‘fun,’ alongside fellow reality show (read: filler) such as AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS, EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION and WIFE SWAP.

Having no life is finally about to pay off! Thanks to today’s announcement courtesy of ABC that the remaining episodes of some of your favorite brilliant-but-cancelled series will burn off their final batch of episodes throughout the summer on Saturdays at 10PM. With PUSHING DAISIES airing on Saturday May 30th through Saturday June 13 at 10PM, ELI STONE airing from June 20 through July 11, and DIRTY SEXY MONEY from July 18 through August 8.