The TV Addict 

Things this TV addict will never get over: STYLISTA? Seriously? Okay, kids, you know the song by heard: “For this they cancelled JACK AND BOBBY, EVERWOOD and VERONICA MARS?”

Best scene stealer: THE BIG BANG THEORY’s Jim Parsons somehow turns every single movement alter ego Sheldon makes into comedy gold. Here’s hoping he takes home some Emmy gold for his efforts.

Person most responsible for a show losing their credibility: The fact that Cloris Leachman managed to remain on DANCING WITH THE STARS as long as she did proved that the show is anything but a talent contest.

Man we love to hate: Not since Larry Hagman’s JR Ewing gave the entire city of DALLAS reason to wanna shoot him have we had so hiss-worthy a bad boy as GOSSIP GIRL’s Chuck Bass, played to slimy perfection by Ed Westwick.

Most unfortunately-accurate title: Wonder if perhaps PUSHING UP DAISIES would have lived longer if it had been given a different name?

Sexiest geek: Sara Rue melted our hard drive as THE BIG BANG THEORY’s Dr. Stephanie Barnett.

Least believable geek: Call us crazy, but we have a feeling that Zachary Levi being named one of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive kinda hurts Chuck Bartowski’s geek cred. Then again, it gives millions of techno heads out there someone to look up to.

Best move: In making the move to New York City, UGLY BETTY remembered to pack the funny… and wisely left Henry behind.

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Favorite supporting character: Forget frienemies Blair and Serena. GOSSIP GIRL’s best duo is, without doubt, Blair and her maid, Dorota.

Most successful homeless guy: Okay, we know Alton Brown – host of The Food Network’s IRON CHEF AMERICA as well as numerous other programs – isn’t actually homeless, but geez… could someone buy the guy a mirror? And a comb?

Most reliable laffer: There’s nothing better — or harder to pull off — than a good farce, which is why WORST WEEK amazes us with its ability to do so each and every week.

Biggest cop-out: We were disappointed when DIRTY SEXY MONEY, obviously uncomfortable with transgender character Carmelita (given surprising depth by real-life transsexual Candis Cayne), took the easy way out by having Patrick’s mistress gunned down.

Best example of a hair don’t: Already one of the most annoying – not to mention classless — personas on SURVIVOR: GABON, Randy didn’t do himself any favor with that Mohawk.

Most rushed episode: In the span of about 10 minutes, the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA crew found out in the fourth season’s fall finale that four of their pals were cylons, processed the info, jumped to Earth and found out it was a barren wasteland.

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CBS, the network that has yet to meet a procedural it couldn’t turn into a ratings smash continued to play to their strength by adding three new ones to their just announced Fall schedule. Joining THE MENTALIST (which is moving to Thursday at 10PM), CRIMINAL MINDS, COLD CASE and their 37 CSI spin-offs is the NCIS spinoff titled LOS ANGELES, the Juliana Margulies legal drama THE GOOD WIFE and THREE RIVERS — the medical drama starring some guy who fans may remember from that Vampire show MOON-something-or-other (Now, will you stop emailing us to Save MOONLIGHT!?)

On the comedy front comes the much buzzed about Jenna Elfman laugher ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE and
the a shuffling of the deck chairs on Monday night with HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER moving to 8PM and THE BIG BANG THEORY moving over to 9:30PM.

Snap Judgements to come, but until then, check out the full CBS schedule after the jump.

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FOX
Good Moves: Alongside the edge-of-your-seat excitement that was TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES, the resurgent HOUSE and that little reality singing competition known as AMERICAN IDOL, FOX ended off the season as the number one network in the coveted 18-49 demographic. Oh, and did we mention we’re still reeling from BONES’ big reveal!

Bad Moves: Just how disappointing was PRISON BREAK’s third season? So mush so that showrunner Paul Scheuring is bringing Dr. Sara Tancredi back from the dead. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for the underrated BACK TO YOU, which won’t be coming back to you. Yet miraculously, ‘TIL DEATH continues to live to see another season. Which naturally begs the question, where is star Brad Garret hiding the highly incriminating photos of the Proverbial Powers that Be?

Prognosis for the Coming Season: Pretty frakkin’ incredible considering the three “J’s” that will be returning to FOX this fall. JJ Abrams, Joss Whedon, and Jack Bauer. Could we BE anymore excited for the new season?

Grade: B

CW
Good Moves: This season, the success of the CW boiled down to four hours. On Monday, GOSSIP GIRL actually lived up to the hype while ONE TREE HILL’s five year fast forward brought this TV Addict back into the fold. On Thursday, SMALLVILLE and SUPERNATURAL continued to deliver with two of their strongest seasons to date.

Bad Moves: Outside of the above four hours, the rest of the CW’s schedule didn’t exactly attract buzz or viewers. FARMER WANTS A WIFE, CROWNED, BEAUTY AND THE GEEK and GIRLICIOUS were all virtually ignored. And sadly, so to was ALIENS IN AMERICA, which joins ABC’s MISS/GUIDED as last season’s best new show that absolutely nobody watched.

Prognosis for the Coming Season: Do you really need to know anything else outside of the fact that America’s Favorite Zip Code is back? If so, the Rina Mimoun [EVERWOOD] modern day ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING titled SURVIVING THE FILTHY RICH looks like the ideal fit for the CW. Plus, spending last season in the ratings basement means there’s no where to go but up!

Last Season’s Grade: B-

NBC
Good Moves: Quirky newcomers CHUCK and LIFE were given another shot to find a fan-base thanks to second season pick ups, THE OFFICE and 30 ROCK continued to live up to the marketing mantra ‘Comedy Night Done Right,’ while FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS successfully managed to shake off its rocky start by ending off its strike shortened season on a high note.

Bad Moves: Where to start? Subjecting audiences to another season of ‘The Donald’ on THE APPRENTICE: ‘CELEBRITY’ Edition? Or ruining childhood memories by butchering the two-hour KNIGHT RIDER tele-film? How about canceling JOURNEYMAN, easily the Peacock’s most interesting new drama of the season. Or spending all summer focusing on marketing their breakout smash HEROES, all the while forgetting to read scripts to ensure the show didn’t crash and burn creatively [it did!]. Adding insult to injury, with BIONIC WOMAN the network managed to do the impossible, turn off horny teenage boys from the hotness of a Michelle Ryan vs. Katee Sackhoff girl-fight. 

Prognosis for the Coming Season: KATH & KIM looks like a hit thanks to the fact that we’d watch SNL alum Molly Shannon read the phone book and the combination of Christian Slater plus KIDNAPPED creator Jason Smilovic already has us reaching for our remote to “Season’s Pass” MY OWN WORST ENEMY.

Last Season’s Grade: C-

Check back tomorrow when the CW gets their end of season report card

ABC
Good Moves: By agreeing to a specific 48 episode end date, ABC gave LOSTerminds Lindeloff and Cuse the finality they needed to deliver the best season of LOST to date. The alphabet network also scores points for showing surprising patience [and good taste] by renewing freshman fan favorites PUSHING DAISIES, DIRTY SEXY MONEY and ELI STONE. Not to mentions this TV Addict’s eternal gratitude for renewing SCRUBS for what will hopefully be one helluva final send off.

Bad Moves: The same can’t be said for the Judy Greer vehicle MISS/GUIDED, which unfortunately has the distinction of joining this TV Addict’s ever expanding shelf of brilliant-but-cancelled TV series. PRIVATE PRACTICE was sadly no GREY’S ANATOMY. While DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES five year fast forward could either be the best thing to happen to Wisteria Lane since the arrival of Dana Delany, or the biggest shark jump since Cousin Oliver. Stay Tuned.

Prognosis for the Coming Season: Thanks to a resurgent GREY’S ANATOMY, the addictive as ever BROTHERS & SISTERS and the ratings powerhouse that is DANCING WITH THE STARS, ABC is heading into the fall season with quite possibly the strongest slate of shows since the WB’s heyday.

Grade: A-

Check back tomorrow when NBC gets their end of season report card

Look, we love TV. Really, we do. But seasons like the one which just wrapped up leave us wondering if maybe we should rethink our stance on reading. (It is, we hear, fundamental!) Fortunately, even on the darkest of nights (better known as the evening CBS aired SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS), we know in our heart of hearts that if it weren’t for our love of the tube known as boob, our lives would be horribly empty. Besides, if we didn’t watch, how could we possibly report on the best and worst of each passing season? With that goal in mind, we present a look at the 2007-2008 season… the good, the bad and the so ugly we wanted to look away… but couldn’t. (Yes, we’re looking at you CAVEMEN.)

Most Talked About Show: If buzz were money, the CW would be rolling in cash thanks to GOSSIP GIRL. Unfortunately, there seem to be more people talking about the show’s trashy teens then actually watching them.

Most Talked About Show That Never Actually Aired: In a move we’d expect from FOX, HBO spent over $20 million on the star-studded laugher 12 MILES OF BAD ROAD and then pulled the plug (reportedly due to material of questionable taste) before any of the six produced episodes aired.

Most Downwardly Mobile Career: Mischa Barton turned down the role of GOSSIP GIRL’s Georgina Sparks. Worse, the former OC resident reportedly told the press of her decision to pass on the role before GG’s execs, who believed she would be joining the cast!

Reason #45 To Invest In A High-Definition TV: As if PUSHING DAISIES weren’t one of the most brilliantly acted and written shows on television, it also features some of the most eye-popping visuals ever to grace the medium. And if you think the pie maker’s world looks great on your boring, regular set… wait until you see him in high def.

Proof That We Know What We’re Talking About: Shortly after viewing the pilot of BACK TO YOU, our own CT said the show spent too much time on secondary players and made a huge mistake in revealing that the leads shared a child in the pilot. Sure enough, despite moments of brilliance, the show didn’t get renewed.

Evidence That We’re Full Of Crap: Shortly after writing a scathing piece on why he absolutely, positive hated SUPERNATURAL, our own CT was convinced by fans to give it another shot. Much to his chagrin, he fell in love with the series.

Most Egregious Product Placement: Forget those Coke cups AMERICAN IDOL’s Paula and company sip their… er, soda, yes, that’s it, soda from. A study showed that during the first three months of this season, the show racked up 3,291 instances of product placement. And that ain’t even counting the commercials!

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Like everyone else on the planet, I feel the need to prepare for 2008 by taking one last look at the year gone by. And since I know your deepest, darkest, desire is to take a glimpse into my personal thoughts as to what shows rocked in 2007, here they are (in no particular order).

After all, I’m sure those of who who swing by regularly (and, by the way, thanks for that!) haven’t a clue as to my likes and dislikes since I’m so tight-lipped about them!

30 ROCK
Rather than wax poetically about the brilliance of writer/actor/creator/Goddess Tina Fey and one of television’s finest comedic ensembles since the gang from FRIENDS went to that big coffee house in the sky, I’ll simply say this: 30 ROCK delivers the one thing I expect of a comedy: laughs. Call me crazy, but I’m tired of sitcoms that are all situation and no comedy. 30 ROCK delivers both in equal measures. Following a rocky start in its first season, this TV Addict is ready to proclaim 30 ROCK the heir apparent to SEINFELD and worthy of the NBC marketing mantra must see TV comedy night done right.

DAMAGES
Reason #9,434 to curse the Canadian networks: None were smart enough to pick up this brilliant legal thriller featuring a performance from Glenn Close so dazzling that come Emmy night, other Lead Actress nominees shouldn’t fret about their acceptance speeches. (Then again, how often does the Academy actually get these things right?) How great is this show? Let’s put it this way: I didn’t begrudge iTunes the $1.99 a week I handed over in order to watch. No other show offered such truly unpredictible plot twists, let alone a chance to hiss at Ted Danson, who was so vile as Arthur Frobisher that he may finally have washed away those memories of CHEERS barkeep Sam Malone which have clung to him like the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. Our only quibble? Why did they have to kill conflicted legal eagle Ray Fiske (played with such poignancy by Zelijko Ivanek)?

DEXTER
Televisions most unusual police procedural could easily have taken the easy way out in season two by simply offering up a repeat of what had worked so well during its freshman season. Instead, however, our favorite serial killer went through a major identity crisis as the lives he’d previously struggled to keep compartmentalized came crashing together. Suddenly, his secret identity was on the verge of being exposed, his personal life was a mess and the very belief system upon which he’d based his existence was yanked out from under him. Before the season was over, Dexter and his nemesis, Doakes, were caught up in the greatest confrontation since the days of Sydney vs. Mama Irina.

BATTLESTAR GALACTIACA
Leave it to show-runner Ronald D. Moore to top GALACTICA’s jaw-dropping second season “one year later” by offering up not one, or two, but THREE shocking moments to cap off the phenomenal third season. The final five Cylons revealed! The return of Starbuck! The path to earth revealed! I’m perched on the edge of my seat awaiting this show’s return… and dreading the fact that the fourth season will be its last.

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All week long theTVaddict.com has been posting some of your favorite moments from the year that was in television. Now it’s my turn.

The following, in no particular order, are 10 of the TV Addict’s favorite moments from 2007 — complete with links to YouTube. Seriously, what did we do before YouTube?

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: Barney’s Hot/Crazy Scale
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Street Coaches Saracen
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: All Along the Watchtower
UGLY BETTY: Amanda Sings “Milkshake”
GREY’S ANATOMY: Burke Practices Wedding Vows
30 ROCK: Jenna does Hardball
GILMORE GIRLS: Lorelai Sings “I Will Always Love You”
DEXTER: Dexter confronts Doakes
GOSSIP GIRL: Opening Theme + Kristen Bell = Bliss
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER: New Rules, The smartest 6 minutes on TV

Think I missed any. Post your YouTube links below.