You’ve just been cast as a Mom on an ABC Family series
Are you a thirty-to-forty-something actress who finds herself in the awkward position of being too old to play the primetime love interest yet not old enough for TV Land? Welcome to the wonderful world of ABC Family, Hollywood’s new go-to address for the likes of Molly Ringwald, Holly Marie Combs and Laura Leighton courtesy of MAKE IT OR BREAK IT, THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER, PRETTY LITTLE LIARS among others.
You’re starring in a movie on a channel names after a greeting card company
Not fortunate enough to nab one of the few roles playing an irresponsible TV mom on the CW or ABC Family? The Hallmark Channel — assuming of course you’re alright with overtly saccharine films littered with positive messages of hope that usually co-star a kid and a dog — has been giving Lauren Holly and Gail O’Grady a steady paycheck for years.
What’s in a name?
Heads up Hollywood! If the television show you happen to be working on deems it necessary to actually include the words “Stars” and/or “Celebrity” in the show title, you’re neither. Also not a good sign, if your name is in the title of the series, just ask Danny Bonaduce or David Hasselhoff.
Daytime
And speaking of the “Hoff,” Daytime TV has a celebrated tradition of giving stars their first job. Less celebrated though is when said stars, after a decades long career have to return to daytime for what may be their last. We’re just saying’
Five words: Syfy Movie of the Week
Coming to a Saturday night near you: Shannen Doherty in WITCHSLAYER. Need we say more? 