Lisa Kudrow
As much as we love the former FRIENDS star, hearing Kudrow say that her new reality offering — WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE — represents NBC “getting back to basics and putting on quality programming” made us throw up in the back of our throats a little bit. Lisa, ABC’s MODERN FAMILY and THE MIDDLE are quality programming. Watching your high-profile pals trace their lineage may not be as bad as THE BACHELOR, but it’s not exactly MASTERPIECE THEATER, either.
Sarah Palin
Look, lady, you put your family in the public spotlight when you threw yourself into politics. And you’re still doing it today. When asked your reaction to the FAMILY GUY episode which you found so offensive, you used not your own words, but those of daughter Bristol! And not for nothing, but you’ve politicized the issue for weeks now by calling for Rahm Emanuel’s resignation for using the word “retarted” and yet, when that same word was used repeatedly by your pal Rush Limbaugh, you managed to shrug and call it “satire.” As FAMILY GUY also delves in satire, why’s one acceptable and the other not? (Frankly, it looks as if you don’t know the meaning of the word… just sayin’.)
Charlie Sheen
A rep for the troubled actor tells Us Magazine‘s website that no one has told Sheen he needs to go to rehab. For the record, Mr. Sheen, we’ll gladly suggest a stint in rehab… and perhaps swinging by a few anger management sessions as well.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
Apparently following in the steps of Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, the JERSEY SHORE denizen is looking to trademark her name… for the express purposes of live appearances and “printed matter, namely books.” Honey, let’s be honest: We don’t think you can read, let alone write!
CW Network Executives
Earlier this week, the network renewed GOSSIP GIRL, stunning many people who assumed the show was no longer even in production thanks to its repeats airing in a seemingly-endless loop. How about we strike a deal? If you promise to run at least 10 episodes in a row next season, we promise to watch. Maybe not live, but we’ll at least DVR them. (Hey, we need to have the option of fast-forwarding through whatever lame storyline y’all dream up next for Serena if you don’t want us to fall asleep!) 