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Dispatches From The Couch: Hangerless Cliff Ahead!

May 30, 2008 By theTVaddict 9 Comments

Thank you, LOST, for showing every other show on television how to do a cliffhanger. Because frankly, until last night, I was worried that America would have nothing to talk about all summer. Heaven knows pretty much every other show I watch had less-than-buzzworthy endings.

Am I really supposed to get excited about the fact that five years down the road, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ Susan is making out with the guy from QUEER AS FOLK? (Way to waste a gimmick that was already done better by LOST.) Or that GOSSIP GIRL’s Chuck went back to his wicked ways after having spent about four minutes devoted to Blair? And don’t get me started on the non-cliffhanger that was Meredith and Derek’s reunion on GREY’S ANATOMY.

Even SUPERNATURAL – aka the show y’all changed my mind about – didn’t have the kick-ass finale I was hoping for. Yes, it was good, but… well, it ain’t like we don’t know that Sam is gonna rescue Dean from hell!

And one of the only other cliffhangers worth talking about – “Who was on the other end of the phone that ONE TREE HILL’s Lucas dialed? – was a let down thanks to the fact we’d already seen the big moment play out (endlessly) in promos!


At least CRIMINAL MINDS and ER had the decency to leave us with the burning question of “who will die?” after each ended with fiery explosions. But at this point, does anybody really care who dies on ER?

Come fall, when the execs are sitting around wondering why the numbers are down for returning shows, they can place the blame squarely on the writers who, after striking for weeks on end, came back to a shortened season which they apparently decided wasn’t worth getting worked up over.

In essence, the scribes wrote the season off.

Yes, I expect a lot from a cliffhanger. I’m a product of the “Who shot JR?” days. But this year’s batch seemed particularly yawn-inducing. There wasn’t a “Holy crap, Vaughn told Sidney he wasn’t who she thinks he is right before that car hit!” or a “Who the heck is The Carver?” in the bunch. I would have settled for a “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”

But this summer, it looks like we’ll have to look elsewhere for topics of conversation. Um… read any good books lately?

Filed Under: Channel Surfing, Lost

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