“Help me Liz Lemon, you’re my only hope!” – Rosemary, Carrie Fisher’s character. I love that they took and used a line of hers from Star Wars. Classic.

“Yeah, we can start our own network called Bitch TV!” – Liz

“I’ve always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.” ~Dexter

(after Marc says he’s going to ask an underwear model out)
Marc: What? You think he’s out of my league? Please. He’s a 9, I’m an 8.
Amanda: He’s a 10, you’re a 6.
Marc: You’re a bitch, I’m a 7.

“Phyllis, like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind’ve a less urban Aunt Jemima.” – Michael, The Office

“”Oh God, push the envelope. You know who uses that phrase? People who don’t have the guts to work inside the system. Letter writers, radicals, Howard Dean…” – Jack, 30 Rock

“Please. I breast-fed til I was 11. So I’ve forgotten more about a woman’s chest than you’ll ever know.” – The Head Page to Jenna, 30 Rock

“He gambled away my welfare check.” – Jack as Tracy’s mom
“Woman I got a mind to smack you upside the head.” – Jack as Tracy’s dad
30 Rock

“Whose crazier, me or Ann Curry?” – Tracy, 30 Rock

Jack Donaghy: So what do you do with your money? Put it into a 401K?
Liz Lemon: Yeah… I’ve gotta get one of those.
J.D.: What? Where do you invest your money, Liz?
L.L.: I have, like, 12 grand in checking.
J.D.: Are you… an immigrant?

“If I can’t be Monique fat then I’ll be Teri Hatcher thin.”